"H-hai, great grandmama," said Shampoo who was still a bit put off by her great grandmother currently being a dinosaur.
"I'll be gone a fair amount of the day," said Cologne. "I've consulted the I-Ching, the Tarot, and my horoscope. Since you and Mister Part-Time will have your hands full with the store, I've arranged for someone else to accompany me and open doors and the like."
Shampoo nodded to show she understood.
"To get this cured, I need to go to another part of Tokyo. Apparently that demon has enemies in that area, and the enemy of my enemy is my ally," said Cologne, turning a cold eye to Mousse. "Shampoo is in charge in my absence. Don't go attacking customers again or I might fancy a duck dinner."
"It was only just the once," complained Mousse.
"Hissssssssss."
"Okay, it was only a few times," corrected Mousse.
Cologne shook her head. "I'll be back much later, hopefully in my proper shape and not looking like a 'Jurassic Park' movie extra."
Genma held his head as he staggered to his feet. Hind paws. Whatever. Feeling like he had a massive hangover, he looked around at the unfamiliar scenery and wondered what the heck had happened.
Last thing he remembered he'd been at the Tokyo Zoo and his attempts to get them to give him hot water had been interpreted as epileptic fits. There had been talk about sending him somewhere where he could be treated by panda experts. Then he'd gotten this flash of pain, and darkness with the sensation of being moved.
Why were there other pandas around here?
Why were the guards speaking Russian?
What was that sign about a panda breeding program?
Why was that female panda lying on the ground smiling?
...
Nodoka was going to kill him, wasn't she?
The Bakayama High School Martial Arts Drama Club was in a pickle.
No, it wasn't that Midori was in her pickle costume and the zipper had gotten stuck. At least not this time.
It was that a new pledge named Hitomi Ayakawa had just gotten groped, her cleavage examined at close range, knocked to the floor, and then declared to be a creature of hell by someone. As well as something to do with wild horses.
Normally this would cause a lot of dramatic posturing, declarations given, speeches made, and a visit to the poor slob's home where he'd be pranked into a public apology.
It had taken this long to find out that the boy was named Ryoga Hibiki and apparently he wasn't very often at home at all.
So TP'ing his home and scrawling offensive slogans wasn't actually going to produce the results they wanted.
They were still trying to figure that out when they discovered this stash of love letters made out to some girl named Akane.
"You saw Ranma?!" Akane exclaimed.
"Yes," admitted Kasumi. "He was sort of transparent at the time."
"That baka, he's probably been living it up while everyone worried about him!" Akane frowned at the thought.
"Actually I don't think 'living' it up is quite the phrase I'd use," said Kasumi. "He's sort of... dead."
"I'll bet there's some girl too," said Akane, not listening to Kasumi as she came to conclusions.
"Well, he apparently reincarnated as a miko," mumbled Kasumi.
"Now he's being a pervert with shrine priestesses," said Akane as she heard one word out of that sentence that made sense to her.
"Actually Akane, he's dead," said Kasumi.
"He's not dead," insisted Akane, "he's just being a pervert with a shrine maiden."
"He's not perverted," insisted Kasumi, "he's passed on. Ghostly. Deceased. Demised. Assumed room temperature. Attained the past tense. Shuffled off this mortal coil. Joined the celestial choir. Gone to that great dojo in the sky."
"No no no," said Akane, convinced this could not be the case. "It's just one of his lame stories. He's just being a pervert."
"He couldn't currently be a pervert if you bloody put 10,000 volts through him," said a Kasumi beginning to lose her cool. "He's stone cold. He's off to be judged by Koenma. The Celestial Bureaucracy has punched his ticket. He's been put in the Dead Book. Passed through the pearly gates and given his halo and wings."
Akane blinked. "Where did Ryoga say he was?"
"The Shrine Of The Three Fates near Nekomi," said Kasumi. "Where they did last rites for him."
"Thanks, Kasumi, I'll go teach that baka to keep everyone worried like this!" declared Akane.
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(Posted Sun, 11 Jan 2004 12:34)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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