We leave our two conspirators in class 2-B and return to the Match-ups 101 stage. A rather frazzled Urd (her clothes are a bit charred and still smoking) basks in the applause of the audience.
"Thank you, thank you... Here we are, back on Match-ups 101, for a little pause" Urd suddenly coughs up a little cloud of smoke "Ahem... I hope you'll excuse my appearance. A small misunderstanding with my sister Belldandy... Thankfully it's been all cleared up now!"
Urd snaps her fingers and disappears in a cloud of smoke. When it clears, her clothes are completely clean and like new "Aaaah... Much better!"
"Welcome back to the stage of Match-ups 101! Now it's time to have a look at the score card!" Backstage, Skuld grins and pulls a lever. The curtains open to reveal a giant computer screen. Shinji's face takes the left half of the screen while smaller portraits of the EVA girls and women take the right half.
Urd turns to face the audience before speaking "For those who are only catching us now, a little summary of what has happened so far is imperative!" The lights darkens as a little Super Deformed anime, with Urd as narrator, starts.
SD Shinji appears, looking confused "Shinji ikari, EVA pilot and generally loveless wimp, won the right for a multiple partner romance thanks to our show's wheel of love. He chose to get it by the power-up option and we obliged!"
Cue SD Urd flying over on a vacuum cleaner, bashing lightly SD Shinji on the head with her magic wand *POOF!* When thepink smoke dissipates, SD Shinji is no more. In his place stands SD Stud Shinji!
"Shinji has been transformed into an adult and superior version of his former self, thanks to a little accident during a NERV experiment" SD Stud Shinji wakes up on a bed, attended by SD Ritsuko "Thinking he was still dreaming, Shinji decided to take advantage of his newly-acquired studliness to seduce and make love to doctor Ritsuko Akagi" SD Stud Shinji and SD Ritsuko kiss, snuggle and before the scene becomes H-rated, it is censored with a big pink heart. The sounds coming from behind leave no doubts on what is happening between them however.
"After that, Shinji was released into the custody of his guardian, major Misato Katsuragi. But on the way home, the two made a little pause to enjoy a new closeness between them" SD Renault Alpine stops and starts shaking, unmistakable sounds of lovemaking being heard. Once again, the big pink heart covers the scene.
"From there, Shinji finally realized it wasn't a dream. He had a little run-in with Asuka, who was a little shocked at her roommate's transformation. A little heart-to-heart cleared the air between him and Misato but before they could do something about it, they were interrupted" SD Stud Shinji and SD Misato are going to kiss when SD Asuka arrives, spoiling the moment.
The scene switches to the dark office of SD bastard Gendo "His father, fearing that some unknown girl could seduce his son and screw up his hold on him, decided to provide him a girlfriend answering to him. His choice was Rei Ayanami, the First Child" SD Gendo orders SD Rei to become Shinji's girlfriend, no matter what means she has to employ. SD Rei nods.
"The next day promises to be full of surprises for our young contestant as he has no idea of his success with the ladies" The SD anime ends and light returns to the stage.
Urd turns back to the computer behind her "This is the Shinji Love-maton 2000 built by my little sister Skuld. With this, we can assess the level of affection between Shinji and all the girls in his life" Skuld pulls another lever. Columns appears under the girls' portraits and rise.
"Number one for the moment: Misato Katsuragi!" declared Urd. Misato's portrait smiled "She is his guardian and has known him the longest. She considers herself Shinji's lover already even if she has not voiced it out loud. Shinji thinks the same but has doubts, especially when Kaji enters the picture"
"Number two: Mana Kirishima. One's First Love is not easily forgotten. Should the young spy make her return to Tokyo-3, she would become a top contender for Shinji's heart (and his new hot body, accessorily). for now, she is the only girl who have ever really dated Shinji" Mana is all smiles but glares alternatively at Misato and Ritsuko.
"Number three: Ritsuko Akagi. She holds a special place in Shinji's mind, being the woman he gave his virginity to. She's already taken steps to see Shinji again and plans to have a torrid secret love affair with him if he's willing. As of now, she is the only one who is sure of her feelings toward Shinji (she wants him BAD)" Ritsuko looks smug and rubs her hands together *Just you wait, Shinji-kun...*
"Number four: Sohryu Asuka Langley. As soon as she gets over her denials and pride, she is sure to realize her budding feelings for 'her' baka-Shinji. She lives with him and Shinji already finds her attractive so she has an advantage she can capitalize on if she acts quickly" Asuka feigns disinterest but sends volcanic glares to all the others regularly.
"Number five: Rei Ayanami. She has been ordered to be Shinji's girlfriend and can call on considerable resources to accomplish that goal. She has real feelings for Shinji, however. She just doesn't know what they are and how to act on them" Rei is seemingly expressionless but a faint blushing can be seen on her cheeks.
"Number six: Hikari Horaki. Shinji doesn't know she has a crush on Touji yet. He respects her and finds her cute if a little authoritarian. As the class representative has not seen the 'new' Shinji yet, we don't know if she'll be part of his little harem in the end" Hikari is confused and wonders why she is here.
"Number seven: Maya Ibuki. The NERV operator has admitted to herself that she's physically attracted to Shinji. She is thinking of making a play for Shinji, starting by becoming friends with him. Shinji himself doesn't know her that well but she has always been nice to him the few times they talked. That counts for something in his view" Maya smiles a little and sweatdrops when she sees all teh competition.
The screen retreats back behind the curtains. There's applause then Urd speaks "And now,we return to Tokyo-3 where things are heating up! If you want to know what happens next, stay tuned! Same Addventure, same thread!"
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See other episodes by Jamil Nate
(Posted Sun, 14 Dec 2003 00:26)
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