"Akane Tendo! At last you have proven your love for me!" Kuno declared. "Today is the day I shall defeat you and allow you to date with me!"
"Shut up, Kuno! This is all your fault!" Akane accused. "My own sister called me a dog because of you!"
"Uhm, no, Akane." Nabiki stuck her head out of a window. "What I said was that it was Pavlovian conditioning, like Pavlov's dog. Kuno's been annoying you for so long that anybody acting like him immediately gets clobbered."
"How dare you call the fair Akane a dog?!" demanded Kuno.
Nabiki made a disgusted noise and withdrew her head from the window.
"Now Akane, I shall defeat thee and we shall be as one!" Kuno declared.
"Excuse me," said a police officer as he stepped from behind a tree. "Are you Tatewaki Kuno, aka the 'Blue Thunder'?"
"Indeed, that I am," agreed Kuno. "How dare you interrupt my conquest of the fair Akane? Peasant?"
"You're under arrest for assault, battery, disorderly conduct, purchase of pornographic materials, and destruction of public property. You have the right to remain silent," said the police officer. "Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney-"
"Desist this foolishness! Know you not that I am a scion of the noble house of Kuno! I am above your petty issues!" Tatewaki Kuno postured dramatically with his bokken.
The police officer blinked. "Is that your final answer? You are not going to submit to arrest?"
Akane looked over at the policeman, a bit puzzled. She had to admit this was unusual.
"It appears I must smite you that I may have time with the fair Akane, HAVE AT THEE!" declared Kuno as he thrust his bokken at the short fellow in the (obviously fake) police uniform.
The cop smiled and dodged just enough that the main thrust didn't catch him, but the spurt of blood was clearly visible from his shoulder.
Kuno posed. "Clearly no force can keep me from -"
Policemen leapt on him from every conceivable hiding place, tonfa were repeatedly rammed into his flesh.
"I fight on!" cried Kuno, slashing around him.
One policeman sank his tonfa into Kuno's Adam's apple.
Akane watched in horror as Tatewaki Kuno was beaten very precisely to a pulp by people who were clearly very very unhappy with him. Then she watched as the noble Blue Thunder was tied down and carted off.
She began slowly walking into school, pondering this strange event.
"Akane Tendo?"
Akane turned to find a number of police officers had returned.
"You have the right to remain silent," began one of the officers.
"Geez, I'm fine. It just caught me by surprise is all," complained Ranma. "And what's with all these gals wanting to check the injury?!"
Innocent looks from a lot of priestesses, healers, apprentice healers, and various well-wishers.
"Well, son, you gave it your best shot despite never wanting to do it in the first place," said Genma. He had brought it up in casual conversation to a courtier years ago, who had apparently spread the word. It wasn't like he was trying to interfere with his son's life. He remembered the terms of that wish. "The Tendo - Saotome union was supposed to be very important but I guess Tendo forgot all about it."
"I still think I'm too young for marriage," grumbled Ranma.
"Actually, milord," hesitatingly brought up a dark elf, "betrothals are quite common at your level of physical maturity."
"There's also the fact that you are the Prince," said an avariel. "You'll have to become King and you'll have to provide an heir. That means taking a wife."
"Or two," put in a werelynx. "Or three."
"At least one chief wife," corrected a glaring high elf.
Tarre nodded her head emphatically. She liked the idea of a large family.
Genma nodded absently. If he were ever reunited with Nodoka, having set Ranma up with wives would have been a good move.
"Be that as it may," said Matron Loom, looking over her scrolls. "It is apparent that a betrothal or hand-fasting is certainly a viable compromise. After much consideration it was decided that the next candidate:"
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(Posted Tue, 10 Feb 2004 11:37)
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