Cologne stirred the broth. "Something has happened. The balances have all changed. The future is more uncertain than ever."
"Yeah right, and you can tell that from today's special?" Mousse openly scoffed.
Whak! "No, Mister Part-Timer. I can tell that from the I Ching. Go look at the table."
Rubbing his head, Mousse did. "How do you read this nonsense anyway?"
Whak! Whak! "The hexagrams are complex, but the book is open to the correct page."
"What's with all the head whacking? Dried up old monkey."
Whak! Whak! Whak! "I've decided if we're going to be stuck here for a long time, I'd try encouraging you to use your head more often. Therefore I'm striking you there to remind you it's there." Cologne hmphed. "The pattern reads oddly, and at its heart is chaos."
"Well, that's not surprising. If something's wrong, Saotome's at the heart of it." Mousse grumbled. "And beating someone in the head doesn't make them smarter. Saotome would be a genius if that was true."
"Mousse, I've told you this before, I'll tell you again, Son-in-law is not an obstacle to you marrying Shampoo. Shampoo is your obstacle to marrying Shampoo. I certainly wouldn't approve of the match but she's old enough to live with her own mistakes. What will it take for you to understand? I've tried charts, I've tried signs, I've tried everything else I could think of. Beating it into your head seems about the only thing I haven't tried." Cologne said. "Do you think you can handle the restaurant while I investigate?"
"No," said Mousse.
Whak! Whak! Whak! Whak! Whak! "Hmmm. Maybe you're correct. You don't appear any more thoughtful."
Now:
Cologne listened as things were said and alluded to. As the feeling of a gathering storm continued to grow. As...
A report plopped down through the boards of the Tendo home in front of her. Written not only in Chinese, but the Amazon's dialect.
How very curious. "The Life of Ranma." Some sort of detective report? How odd.
Genma shifted uncomfortably. He was getting this awful sensation. As if fate had caught up with him.
"Saotome! Prepare to die!"
Everyone looked expectantly towards Ranma.
"There he is! Genma Saotome, for three orders of shrimp kebobs, you shall be held accountable!"
"Nein! For bratvurst and streudel and beer consumed, ve hav veys of making him... pay."
"Soun TENDO! So this is where you have been hiding these years!"
"EEEK!" "WHAT?!" Genma and Soun looked at the three chefs.
"I am Chef Takahara of 'Cafe Piccolo!'" This chef was wearing the sort of traditional chef outfit one would expect of a higher class restaurant. "For the insult you have done my establishment, I demand satisfaction!"
"I am Herr Oberdorf of the 'Schnitzle Haus'," announced the foreign chef as he idly flipped and caught a large meat cleaver. "Genma Saotome and Soun Tendo. Tvice you haff crossed mein path. Once vith your despicable martial arts master, und once on your own. For your despicable table manners. For your consumption of foods vithout payment. For your insult to good German food. You must be... hurt."
"Soun Tendo! How dare you not follow through on your promise of engagement!" This from a woman who looked like she should be a pro wrestler. In the men's division.
"Gak!" Soun managed. "Hi-hi-hitomi!"
Three Tendo daughters blinked and regarded their father.
"So which of these girls were so sick that you needed to raid the entire sorority for panties?" Hitomi looked over the three daughters.
"Gak!" Soun repeated.
"Daddy?" Nabiki asked.
"It was in the days with the Master," Soun began to babble to his daughters. "It wasn't my fault. We were..."
"Don't worry, y'all can call me 'Mother'," said Hitomi. "Though this boy standing me up like that. And after tasting my forbidden fruit too..."
"Father!" Kasumi looked positively scandalized.
"It's not what you think! It was a magic cherry!" Soun didn't look too good himself.
"Is that what they used to call it?" asked Nabiki looking shaken herself.
Akane fainted. Which drew a few stares in and of itself as it seemed awfully uncharacteristic of her.
Setsuna sipped delicately at her tea as:
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(Posted Thu, 02 Jan 2003 13:43)
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