Sailor Pluto watched with some trepidation as she waited for the future to firm up in the Time Gate. Any way you cut it, Endymion's death will put a crimp in the future development of Crystal Tokyo. What form would the future take now? Who would be the new mortal vessel of Endymion?
The fog was clearing now, and for the first time Pluto could see just what changes her princess had wrought. Pluto's eyes went wide, as the headaches that she usually got and had prepared for when the timeline changed in a way uncondusive to the establishment of Crystal Tokyo, were bypassed in favor for absolute soul-chilling horror.
"NOOOOO!!!!!!! NOT HER!! ANYONE BUT HER!!!" screamed Sailor Pluto.
In a shack by the beach titled [ Watanabe's Shaved Ice ], a curious incident was taking place. At all hours of the night.
"I'M NOT GONNA BE LATE!" came a scream, not of anxiety or hurriedness, but of sheer wasteful energy. "I'M ABSOLUTELY NOT GOING TO BE LATE!"
A husband and wife rose from their futons, shoving the comforters labeled 'Line shots' and 'Cut numbers' respectively, and glared blearily at their prattling, hyperactive daughter.
"Kobayashi's gonna do it!" roared the exuberantly enthusiastic daughter of the poor couple, donning her clothes as she prattled on and on. "Kobayashi may not look it but Kobayashi was class rep until two years ago. Personally, Kobayashi thinks Kobayashi hung in there good for being so small, but still no one takes Kobayashi seriously and every wretched day, Kobayashi's teacher scolds Kobayashi to get it together." The girl tied the scarf of her school uniform around her head and pulled it down past the upturned collar held up in her teeth, which curiously didn't impede her speech in any way. "Kobayashi didn't regain her rightful seat as class rep last year, in which Kobayashi failed to show Kobayashi's true abilities. But this year Kobayashi plans to redouble Kobayashi's efforts. In other words, absolutely do not be late, Kobayashi-baka! Being punctual is the first step to being a voice actress!" With that line, she pulled the collar down over the scarf, smoothing it out and standing triumphantly her finished dressing job.
"Poemi, it's still four in the morning," murmured the father of this daughter, whose name was apparently 'Poemi' but mysteriously called herself 'Kobayashi'. This father was none other than the afro-haired Watanabe Nabeshin. He was in only his underwear and tie, scratching his head looking at the alarm clock that told him that it was still four in the morning, allowing him to tell Poemi this in all the honesty and conviction someone in his beleaguered state could muster.
"Don't forget your panties, okay?" said the long suffering wife and mother, looking beleaguered herself in her nightgown.
Watanabe Poemi, who called herself 'Kobayashi' for some strange reason, stood in the middle totally bare-assed waist down. The forbidden area were blocked by mozaics, to the grave disappointment of the lolicon crowd. She prattled straight through their advice without listening.
"Oh, K! Even though you're a tentacled space alien who had aspirations of conquering the earth to enslave all women, Kobayashi still thinks you're a honey-dovey lovey! Please disregard any rumors that Kobayashi had strange dreams last night about being a man and rushing to embrace this rabbit-haired blonde bimbo and calling her Kobayashi's princess!" Poemi went on, explaining about her strange dream to the picture of her beloved K, in all his tentacly handsomeness. "Believe Kobayashi, K-san, this girl means nothing— Futaba-chan means nothing. Kobayashi only has a heart for you!" She reached into her chest and tore out her still-beating heart.
The two parents stared at the still-beating organ. "You should put that back, dear..." quipped Mama-Watanabe.
"Ahh! It bleeds! It bleeds! Kobayashi is losing precious lifeblood!" roared Poemi, flailing about and spurting blood everywhere, before collapsing into a twitching wreck.
"You're not listening to us. Again," sighed Nabeshin as he reassembled his hyperactive daughter. "This wouldn't be half as annoying if you didn't do this every single night."
Poemi, now reassembled, finally noticed them for the first time. "Thanks for the save, Director the dad; and hello, Ms. Kumikumi the mom."
"Why am I director?"
"Cover your hoo-ha, dear..."
"That's what I'll do!" yelled Poemi excitedly. "I'll work it like this!!" She gave her unclad bottom a wiggle (again, the mosaics were a big letdown to the lolicon crowd).
Well, the introduction of Poemi into the Addventure resulted in a lot of wasteful energy being scattered about. Eventually resulting in Poemi finally making it out the door.
"At least last year she managed to make it out the door with her panties and skirt on..." sighed Watanabe-Mama.
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(Posted Tue, 11 May 2004 06:21)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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