Built at the end of the closed outlet road, was a large mansion set in the middle of what had to be a good forty acres of land. The Diggers Estate.
And currently, in the master bedroom, the patriarch and matriarch of the family were...
Sleeping in...
Which was quite the unprecedented event for the woman, who usually got up to train her martial arts at dawn...
...But hey, Ranma and Jetta weren’t the only ones to overdue it that previous night. And unlike the Saotome couple, they had other family members who the little girls could go to, to bug for some breakfast.
Still, with evening rolling around and the sun finally at the other side of the house, the sunlight that was peaking through between the two drapes had finally made it’s way over to the bed, and hitting a certain redheaded Armsmaster in the face.
Julia Brigand-Diggers, Armsmaster of the Realm of Jade, frowned in her sleep and snuggled closer to her husband in a vain attempt to keep on sleeping, the warmth being too pleasurable a feeling to let go off easily.
Of course, being the more dominant partner, and hogging most of the bed, since she liked it that way, Julia's snuggling accidently pushed her slumbering husband off the bed with a loud...
*THUD*!
And since the sheets were still around him, and around his wife, it had the domino effect of bringing his wife down with him.
*THUD*!
“Ow..." Theo groaned as he felt someone piledrive their elbow into his chest.
If the sun failed to wake Julia up, the fall from her bed and down onto her husband’s knee did the trick. The woman moaned in pain at the sudden hit to her nether regions and opened her eyes. “Theo?”
“Yes, dear?” Theo answered, trying to sit up a bit. He smirked a little as he saw his wife still in a state of undress and her hair a little frazzled. “Well, this is a side of you I rarely get to see anymore...”
Julia rolled her eyes, and tried hard to ignore the pain on her crotch from the fall. “Whatever, Theo,” She smirked down at her husband. “So you saw me like this. What are you going to do about it?”
“Depends...” Theo ‘hmm’ed a moment before turning his head. Looking at the nightstand by the bed, Theo grabbed the clock radio off from it. “It’s past five pm...” His eyes widened as that reached his mind. “We slept most of the day!?”
Julia sighed and nodded. “I need to make breakfast for our little treasures... Or rather dinner...” Her mother was probably having a sneezing fit right now. Julia Brigand, Armsmaster of Jade and member of the Giant Clan, sleeping all day and not being there for her daughters.
With that Julia stood up and disengaged from her husband, a hard thing to do when all she wanted was to get some more loving, to start getting dressed.
Theo started to stand as well, wincing a little. Damn, he and Julia had really worked each other over last night... And early morning... “I think they’ll be all right, I mean dad and,” He shuddered, “Your mother are here for a visit”" He told her as he was already starting to look neat. Boy, it was sure useful having 100% control over one’s body.
Julia stopped in adjusting her bra at Theo’s words, only to shrug it off and continue to get dressed. “We have to get up anyway.”
“True enough,” Theo agreed as his mage-suit started to appear over his body from seemingly out of nowhere. Again, being an Aura Mage had its advantages.
Julia put on a comfortable pair of pants and a shirt, which happened to be tight enough to show off her great body by mere coincidence, before she started walking towards the door. “Should we go to the kids before mom turns them into mage-beating, men-hating barbarians?” She didn’t really mean that, but she was sure that was how her husband thought of her mother. Shuddering a bit at the mental image Julia gave him... Or was he shivering in joy at the physical image Julia was putting on for him? Anyway, point was, Theo trembled. “You’re right. We better check on the kids.”
Julia laughed lightly and opened the door for Theo to walk out of, instead of the other way around. She rather enjoyed these rather small ironies of life in their marriage. “After you, Theo.”
“Sure, dear,” Theo said, although he stopped a moment to give his wife a kiss on the lips before continuing out.
Blinking her eyes, Julia stopped for a moment, before smiling in delight and walking after her husband. Life was good.
(------)
In the kitchen, one Dr. Jonathan Leon Diggers was using his wits and knowledge to tackle one of the most difficult magic art-forms around. No, not the highest arcane forms of magic...
No, not the forbidden books of knowledge...
He was doing something far, FAR more difficult...
Making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for his granddaughters’ dinners. While trying to ignore his in-law, a rather... Strange woman to say the least. (Since he couldn’t make anything else, and the barbarian bitch didn’t feeling like making it after she made the girls breakfast and lunch)
“Damn, sticky...” Jonathan grumbled lightly, a smidge of purple jelly glaringly standing out on his white beard.
Both girls sat at the kitchen table watching. One was a beautiful blond-haired girl with the bluest pair of eyes once could ever imagine. She couldn’t wait to have peanut butter nad jelly. She always liked it when her mommy made it for her.
Mumsey smiled widely as she continued to teach her granddaughters ‘proper’ barbarian culture.. “So what do you girls do when a boy tries to get too comfortable with ya?”
The other little girl, who was little taller, with skin was a tad darker than her sister’s, pushed a lock of her brown hair from her violet eyes. “You punch him in the nuts?”
Jonathan twitched considerably at hearing that answer, causing more jelly to somehow spray into his beard. “Dag-nabbit!”
Mumsey nodded happily. “That’s right, deary. And after that you make him beg for mercy by squeezing his throat with yer hand.” Yep, Mumsey Brigand was a lover of peace.
The little brown-haired girl nodded her head again to that. She’d have to remember that for when she got older.
Hearing that, Jonathan turned to tell the barbarian woman off, but ended up slipping on a small puddle of peanut butter. Which was good for him, since the larger woman would have had no qualms about tearing out his eyes and stuffing them up his asshole so he could see first-hand what it’s like to have his ass kicked five ways form Sunday.
Watching her grandfather make a mess, the little blonde giggled. "Grandpa's funny.” “Heh. All magic users are, sweetie,” Mumsey said in amusement.
Grumbling, Jonathan tried to pull the jar of grape Jelly he had been holding out of his beard. “Ha, ha...” He said sarcastically to the comment, wincing as he continued to pull on it.
Mumsey ignored Jonathan, since her granddaughters were having a hell of a time laughing, and contented herself with crossing her arms over her chest.
Standing up, Jonathan grumbled. “I’ll have to take this off later,” He said, the jar hanging from his beard. “We’ll get you girls fed, and then I can clllLLEEEAAAAAAN!?”
And came another crash as Jonathan slipped on a puddle of grape jelly had had come from his beard. As one could guess, both little girls were caught in a fit of hysterics.
“Now is a good time to laugh girls,” Mumsey said before laughing like a maniac herself.
Groaning from his spot on the floor, Jonathan slapped himself on the head. “Enough already, and help me,” He said to the woman...
...However, upon trying to bring his hand back down, realize that the jelly on it made a nice adhesive between his hand and the hair. “Ah, nut-bunnies...”
“Having trouble, father-in-law?” Julia asked as she entered the kitchen and tried to help the man out of his predicament.
“MOMMY!” Came the twin cry from both little girls as they rushed from their seats, and latched onto either leg with a hug.
Julia laughed in delight at the show of affection and returned it as well as she could. “How are my little treasures today?”
“We’re fine mommy!” Gina said. “Grammy made us breakfast, and told us all sorts of neat stories, and is helping Brenda become a tomboy.”
“Am not a tomboy, Gina!” The brown-haired girl with pointy-ears stuck out her tongue at Gina.
“Are too,” Gina said, sticking her tongue out as well.
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Not!”
“Too!”
“Girls, girls!” Julia rolled her eyes and separated them before they could get into a fight. “Calm down.”
“Ah, the joys of adolescence,” Theo chuckled as he stood by the entrance of the kitchen.
“DADDY!” Both girls chirped and attacked their father’s legs in a manner similar to what they did to their mother.
Seeing the girls drop their argument to go to their father, Julia just sighed in a relaxed manner and helped her father-in-law out of the mess he was in.
“Thanks Julia,” Jonathan thanked her. “At least someone around here’s helpful, sweet, kind, and lady-like.”
While Mumsey simply ‘humph’ed Julia gave Jonathan an apologetic look and turned to finish dinner for her daughters. Mumsey, on the other hand, couldn’t help one last jibe at her in-law. “So how does it feel to have a woman solve all your messes?”
Opting to ignore his in-law, Jonathan watched intently as Julia made a new set of sandwiches, perfectly made, the crusts cut off even. “How the hell do you do it?”
“She just does,” Theo said, lifting his daughters up in either arm.
Julia shrugged. “Practice. The first time I tried if for Theo... It wasn’t pretty.”
“It was still tasty though,” Theo said, although keeping quiet about the part how the sandwich spontaneously burst into flames.
Julia gave Theo a thankful smile, though she knew it was a disaster that time, and continued to prepare lunch for everyone.
Watching this, Mumsey snorted. Her daughter was servant to her family, what a shame!
Theo carefully sat down both his daughters, his and Julia’s treasures. Gina, their own precious girl, and the girl he and Julia gratefully took into their home to raise as their own. The young werewolf, Brenda. Sighing as he thought about it, Theo could only wonder how that mission had been such a disaster.
Julia finished preparing breakfast for everyone and sat down to join her family in eating. Her stomach thanked her a lot for filling it after the long and strenuous night.
As they ate, Theo couldn't help but point out one thing...
“Dad?” Theo started.
“What is it?” Jonathan asked.
“Is that a...” Theo paused for a moment. “Jar in your beard?” His eye twitching, Jonathan said, “Quiet you.”
“But...” Theo tried, before having his own father throw one of the sandwiches he made at his face.
“... You sure you’re not gay?” *Gets whapped upside the head with am empty beer can.*
“That can’t be your daddy!”
“Yes, she is! She’s my daddy!”
“Of course! Only decent thing on this Scrying Crystal you got here.”
Read the comments on this episode
See other episodes by Red Priest of the 17th Order
(Posted Tue, 13 Jul 2004 11:33)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.