[Episode 118324] [Episode 118324]Well, at least the desert-planet life wasn’t all bad for the ladies of the PVC army. There were shopping malls, Jacuzzis, and they were currently holding one hell of a zucchini-growing competition, (current winner’s was 3’ in length, 5.7” diameter).
And currently in the commandant’s office, the commander of the 101st Heavy Tank Crushing Battalion, a brown-furred, tanned-blonde haired vulpine. Major Elsa Carrington-Whiplash looked at a vid-transmission screen. On the other end was General Rufus Alufus of PVC High Command, an elderly male vulpine with a large, bushy gray mustache and a general’s uniform.
The subject was currently based around the activity, (or rather lack of) from the Vole Imperium.
“As you can see, Major Carrington-Whiplash,” The General was telling his subordinate as he motioned to a smaller screen behind him which was a map of planet Gawddatsalottacox, “While our situation on this planet had been in dire straights for some time now, it would seem that the front has been stabilized since troops from the VIMPs are being withdrawn.”
The Major nodded. “I’ve noticed that myself, General. My gals heah ‘ave ‘ad less and less problems to deal with lately. Bloody ‘ell, its as if the VIMPs ‘ave given up.”
The General nodded. “This can’t be good.”
“Oh?” The Major asked. “Why is it not good? It’s kind off nice being able to ‘ave some quality time with the troops.”
“Be that as it may,” General Alufus said warningly, “This must mean something. The Vole Imperium doesn’t give up on anything unless they have a plan ready.”
Frowning, the Major asked, “You think the Voles are planning to set up a complete takeover at once location?”
“It’s very possible,” The General said. “It’s why I want you to keep your soldiers on high alert. We may need to go to battle at any given moment.”
The Major nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll take my gals off of Musky Mauve Low-level Alert and put them onto Prissy Peach High-level Alert.”
“Yes,” The General said, “That is best. We can’t have the Voles taking planet Frammenwanger. If they take your base, then they’ll have a stepping stone to get full access to the Pan Vulpine Coalition.”
“Excellent,” The General Said. “We cannot afford to have our forces lax in such a grievous time of war.”
“Of course!” Major Carrington-Whiplash agreed. “Nothing is fun when it’s lax,” She said as on the other end, someone had come into view to tell the General something. “After all, its so ‘ard to get some bloody fun out of something when its all flaccid and weak. A girl needs some-”
“GREAT SCOTT!” The General shouted, taking the Major out of her rant. He turned to Elsa and asked her, “We’ve got war on our hands!”
“Begging yoah pardon sah, but I thought we WEAH in war befoah,” The Major said seriously.
“We were! But it’s active once more,” The General said in a dire voice. “The Voles are attacking a small planet far away from the PVC. A planet called ‘Earth’.”
“Earth?” Major Elsa Carrington-Whiplash asked. “Now wheah is that, General?”
“It’s a small piss-ant planet far off in the Milkyway Galaxy,” The Generl;a said off-handedly. “Now, Major, I need to know something.”
“No sah, you CANNOT ‘ave my measurements,” The Major told the General.
Blushing quite a bit, the General said, “Not that!” He sighed in defeat for a moment before seriousness came back to him. “If the Voles get such a strategically important planet we could be done for!”
“Strategically important?” Major Elsa asked. “Just ‘ow is that planet important? I’ve nevah ‘eard of it befoah.”
“It’s a mostly untouched planet in the neutral zone,” The General said. “If they get a place of almost unlimited resources, we could be done for!”
Elsa nodded her head. “That could most definitely be bad,” She said in agreement. The last thing they needed were Vole Soldiers with more to work with. The rumors that they were developing ‘Mouse Mecha’ were unsettling enough.
The General nodded in agreement. “Major! We’ll need a landing force to head to Earth. A force of motivated professional soldiers. Soldiers with plenty of hands-on experience, who aren’t afraid to get down and dirty!”
The Major perked up almost instantly. “Tally-Ho! General, I ‘ave just the gals! Captain Zeera and her grew ‘ave been itching for action for quite some time now.”
“All right then,” The General said. “Send your crew out to planet Earth with some supplies.”
The Major nodded her head. “Yes, General. We’ll head to Earth right away!”
“Well, Red, I guess so... Not sure what Else I can do to break the Fourth Wall.”
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(Posted Wed, 22 Sep 2004 00:59)
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