[Episode 119187] [Episode 119187]Well, on must consider that not everyone has women that can bare all, due to religious intolerance...
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Middle East...
An armada of tanks started to roam through the streets of Baghdad, whatever little remnants of what remained of the civilization was crushed under the treads of mouse-tyranny. A Mosque in the background from where a majority of the tanks were traveling from began to tumble as explosives at the base blew.
Atop of one tank stood two Voles. The one Vole in a VIMP Trooper Uniform turned to the one in the Commander’s outfit. “Herr Commandant?”
“Ches, Lieutenant?” Asked the Commander as he lowered his pair of binoculars as to see who was asking him a question.
“Zis ist ze desert climate, ya?” The Trooper asked.
“Ya,” The Commander answered. “Sho vat?”
“Vell, Commandant,” The Trooper continued. “Shouldn’t ze ladies be in ze tight und skimpy bikinis?”
The Commander nodded his head. “Chou know, I vas finking ze shame fing. Zere’s not even one beach-ball here.” He sniffled. “Not even a little sun-block lotion.”
The trooper shook his head in disgust. “I tell chou, Commandant... Zese humans are but ze most inhumane fings on ze face of ze very planet.”
“Agreed,” The Commander said as he raised his binoculars to look out into the distance. “Not even one shwimming pool either.”
“Ze cads!” The Vole trooper said in disgust.
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Pennsylvania, aka “Amish Country”...
Inside a rather large barn, an Amish Farmer held his hands firmly on the pole of a butter-churner as to make, what else, BUTTER!
However, he couldn’t help but look over his shoulder at the numerous mouse-people that were also using the butter-churners. Very quickly, and feverishly. The butter was starting to foam from the very top of the churners, where the hole was for the pole.
Scoffing, the Amish farmer shook his head. “Show-offs... You’d think they were master-butterers or something... ” The farmer grumbled, unaware of how close to the truth he was...
An elderly woman, wearing a black dress that completely covered her wanted into the barn. “George!” The woman shouted.
Rolling his eyes, the Amish Farmer turned to regard his wife. “Yes, woman?”
“There be rats in house!” The woman complained, while pointing towards the general direction of the home with a rolling-pin.
“Aye, and they be in the barn too,” George said. “They be a great help. I wonder where they gained such great pole-pumping skills from...”
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Of course, there were places that fell not because their women couldn’t show skin. It would have been insane too from the cold climate...
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Russia...
While the tanks were making way towards Moscow, the VIMP troops were the first to infiltrate the city. There was much in the way of shooting and looting as the vermin menace from beyond the stars came into the red territory.
“Take ze Kremlin!” Was the cry of one Vole.
“Viva la Lenin!” Was another one.
“You vill torture us vith Tetris no longer!” Squealed a Vole soldier that was foaming at the mouth.
“I can’t believe zis,” One Vole Trooper complained.
“Vat is wrong?” A Trooper next to him asked.
“Vat is wrong?” The first Vole Trooper snapped. “I’ll tell chou vat’s wrong. Un two-hour vaiting line for shotickings und panties!”
The other Vole trooper gasped in shock. “Yeesh! Zese peoples were oppressed long before ve ever came here.”
“Amen to zat,” The first trooper said. “Amen to zat...”
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Norway...
Urd frowned as she sat atop a roof. The building next to her was building, but her attention was on the streets.
The Norse ways were losing. You could only keep these Voles drunk.
The Goddess of the past threw long locks of platinum-blonde hair over her shoulder. The place her pantheon had risen from was burning. And the people’s were being subjugated.
It was then a decent puddle of rainwater on the roof began to shimmer, The heat from the flames next door were enough to steam it up to transportation level. A young black-haired girl with the markings of a goddess started to peek out from the water. “Urd!” The girl shouted. “We better get going! There’s nothing we can do here!”
Urd’s hands tightened to a fist by her sides. “Nothing we can do?” She repeated. “Nothing we can do? There’s PLENTY we can do!” She smirked and lifted her already short mini-skirt a bit. “I’ve got the goods! I can send these little bastards packing!”
Skuld pouted. While it made her proud her sister was willing to take responsibility and fight these foes... She wished she could do something else to fight them. And besides that, “Urd, there’s just too many of them for one woman to completely overwhelm,” Skunk said to reason with Urd.
Lowering her head, Urd nodded her head to acknowledge her little sister. “You’re right. I don’t like to admit it, but you’re right...” Urd frowned. “Oh, I am SO going to show off some ass when I get back to Japan.”
Skuld sweat-dropped. “Don’t you mean, ‘kick some ass’?”
“No,” Urd stated. “Show off some ass! These things fall quicker to sneak peeks rather than bullets.”
The sweat-drop on the back of Skuld’s head got bigger.
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Sweden...
A Vole stared stupidly for a moment as he held a pair of, what appeared to be footwear. “Wooden shoes?”
“Ya’!” Another Vole soldier said. “We’ve been looting zem from a few of ze buildings. Zey’re becoming all ze rage amongst ze company.”
The first Vole trooper stared at his grinning comrade for a long while before smacking him across the head with one of the shoes. “Idiot...”
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Canada...
“Ouchies! ‘Ey now, that smarts! OW!” The officer of the Canadian Mounties cried, as a Vole on his back kept trying to smother him by smashing his face into a snow-bank.” “Careful, would you? This ‘ere thing smarts! Very icy.”
The Vole trooper nodded and just thrust the Mounty’s head into the snow-bank, waiting a moment for a pile of snow to just bury the guy’s head.
“Better...” Was the voice from inside the snow.
A Vole Soldier shook his head as he was lighting a cigarette with a match. “Zis ist ze best zese people can do? Men in red uniforms on...” He trailed of and looked over at another VIMP trooper. “Hey, Rumsfeld.”
“Ya, Yohan?” Was the reply of the VIMP trooper raiding the Mounty’s supply bag.
“Vat are zose fings zat ze man was chust riding?” The Vole Soldier Yohan said while pointing to the beast clopping off into the distance.
“I believe zey are called ‘horses’,” Private Rumsfeld said as he emptied the Mounty’s bag of contents. He snorted. “Vat ist zis? No panties!? Preposterous!”
“Oh,” Yohan said as he looked into the distance. “Ist zat a ‘horse’ as vell?”
“Vat ist?” Rumsfeld asked, opening up a First-Aid kit.
“Zat fing charging towards you,” Yohan answered. “Or, maybe it’s a cow…”
Lifting his head up, Private Rumsfeld saw as a large brown furred creature with a huge pair of antlers was charging towards him. “Oh, fuck me”
*POW*!
“SQUEEE!” Was Rumsfeld’s cry as he flew through the sky.
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Alaska...
An Eskimo’s eye twitched as he saw numerous mouse-like people skidding back and forth atop the ice. “Well, looks like there’ll be no fishing today...”
Shaking his head, the man turned back, pretending he hadn’t seen the stupidity of moose soldiers on skates.
“I can’t shtop! I CAN’T SHTOP!” One Vimp soldier cried as he skated out of control and slammed right into a snow-bank.
“How do peoples use zes fings!?” One Vole cursed to the sky.
“Parkas, parkas, parkas,” One soldier mumbled as he looked over his loot. “But vhere are all ze panties!?”
“NO!” A VIMP Commander shouted to a driver. “Shtop! Don’t bring zat tank onto ze ice! SHTOP!”
And then said tank went right through the ice, bringing numerous VIMPs down with it.
“SQUEE!”
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And of course, there are a few places that just gave up without any fight...
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Switzerland...
A Commander walked ahead of the rest of the army. As soon as he stepped into a small Swiss town, he held up a proclamation in one hand and a megaphone in the other. “As a representative of the Vole Imperium of Shnuffi-Heim Shix,” He began to read aloud off of the paper, “I am to inform you zat un invading armada ist to attack in thirty sheconds. Shurrender now or-”
“WE SURRENDER!” Screamed people on the streets.
Blinking his eyes, the VIMP Commander blinked. “Really?” He then spoke into the Megaphone again. “All right! Surrender your chocolates und your cheeses und no one shall be hurt!”
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France...
A Commander walked ahead of the rest of the army. As soon as he stepped into the streets of Paris, he held up a proclamation in one hand and a megaphone in the other. “As a-”
“VE SURRENDER!!!” Was a unanimous shout from all around the city; it’s echo reverberating to the core.
The Vole Commander lowered his megaphone. “Zat was fast...” He then took out a walkie-talkie and hailed the rest of the Forces. “Ze capital hast fallen. Have Troops surround ze city. Ze vine und cheese shall be ours...”
Noticing the Eiffel Tower, the VIMP Commander then added, “And someone get into contact vith herr General Von Schteppenslammer. I fink ve haff a place for her to land ze craft.”
“Are we there yet?” “No!”
“Are we there yet?” “NO!!”
“Are we there now?” “ASK ME ONE MORE TIME, YA BLOODY POOF! I DARE YA!”
*Badadadadadadada*!
“SQUEEE!”
“Oooh... Three for one. Hilda, chou’re getting goot!”
“It’s Anime Addventure. I have to.”
“Oh, that’s all right. I’ll just polish my gun, while you get another segment of the 101st done... Or Else!”
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(Posted Sun, 26 Sep 2004 19:39)
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