[Episode 1333] [Episode 1333]Everyone turned to look at Kasumi in shock. "Really," she continued, "What makes you think any of us are ready or willing to get married? At least now I don't have to worry about having any of my sexual exploits being bandied about the neighborhood, as long as no one here lets it be known. Or did you think the discount at the grocery stores was because they felt sorry for our family?" she looked pointedly at Nabiki. The only sound in the room was incoherent babbling from Ranma (of the uh... duh... uh... buh... variety). Everyone else was speechless.
Kasumi latched onto Ranma's shirt and began dragging a stumbling Ranma towards the stairway. "Now," she told the rest, "I have a few things I'd like to...discuss...with Ranma. Would you care to join in the...discussion...Nabiki?"
As Nabiki was jolted out of her stupor at being addressed and started moving towards the stairway, Akane decided to make a move of her own, to reclaim 'her property'. "Ranma, you pervert!"
Akane's fist met an immovable object. Kasumi's hand. She wasn't the soft and demure housewife that everyone had thought she was. As the eldest, she was the first and best student in the Tendo school of Anything Goes Martial Arts (Mutsubetsu Kakuto Tendo Ryuu). The eldest Tendo sister had outstripped her father's lessons and developed her own style, she just hadn't received or required a certificate to prove it to the rest of the world. She was more on a par with Ranma, using anything and everything she did as a method of training.
"I do believe we should remove Akane's name from the list as a potential fiancee," she calmly declared to her father. "Taking on the entire Sophomore and Junior classes last night should be sufficient reason." Looking Akane in the eye, she said, "You really should have gotten rid of the last six in your room before I woke up. Or, at least, closed the door."
Leaving Akane to face Soun's Demon Head attack, Kasumi led Ranma and Nabiki upstairs to her room.
"Oh, no, both of us were virgins until last night, judging from the bloodstains on the bedsheets. It just seemed prudent to imply the contrary to Father, so he wouldn't be too much opposed to the idea of switching the engagement from Akane to us."
"What?"
"Do you think you're the only one to lead people on with half truths? Akane was deflowered by my vibrator, then some KY jelly mixed with white hand lotion left evidence that something happened. Then all I had to do was deposit some of the guests who didn't leave in Akane's room. Minus their pants, though I didn't remove their underwear."
"Okay, then, why take up with Ranma? I thought you were interested in Doctor Tofu?"
"Tofu? Are you serious? Tofu is a very nice man, but he's barely ten years younger than Father. I don't mind having a different father figure, since Father isn't really the best example, but to marry one? I think not. And the oral sex for a family discount made him useless around me."
"What?!"
"You thought I was making up the part about using sex for a discount with the grocer? I'm sure Mr. Ohnishi would have retired four years ago, if I hadn't. It was oral sex, though. I wouldn't take a chance of becoming pregnant at fourteen."
"My oldest sister the slut. I'd have never guessed," Nabiki groaned with her face buried in her hand. She looked up and asked, "But why take up with Ranma?"
"Ranma will never make a decision about who he wants to marry. Period. Not until he is older, anyway, and there is no reason for him to make an immediate decision, in the first place. Somebody had to make the decision for him, so I did. But, there is no reason for him to get married until he is ready and willing to do so, especially when our fathers are hounding him day and night for an immediate wedding."
Kasumi walked over and addressed the seated Ranma, "If either Nabiki or I were going to have your baby, you'd marry us as soon as possible, yes?"
"Of course!" he retorted. "It would be the only honorable thing to do!"
"So you see," she kissed his forehead, then turned to Nabiki, "I made the decision. None of his other fiancees could say anything about it, or blame anyone other than me."
"If that's so, why did he have sex with you when he had more than enough opportunities with his fiancees?"
"Because they expected him to initiate something. Shampoo merely crawled into his bed or into the furo with him and waited. Kodachi never got him paralyzed again, so she thought he would start something without her assistance. Ukyo wasn't 'that type of girl' to do anything like that. And, of course, Akane is too sexually repressed to even want to."
"And you weren't interrupted, because I was with you and everyone else was busy downstairs."
"Exactly."
"Now would you please answer, why take up with Ranma?"
"Because he's sweet, adorable, kind...oh, he'll stick his foot in his mouth occasionally, but if you don't insult him, he won't insult you. He's helpful whenever possible...and he is a hunk, isn't he?" she giggled.
"So, I'm just another hunk of meat, is that it?" he asked, sourly.
"Oh, no, Ranma, it's not like that." She sat next to him, wrapped her arms around his waist, and laid her head on his shoulder. "I really like you. I love you as part of my family, because whether or not you realize it, you are a part of it. If it weren't for the first day we met, and the way our fathers had sprung the engagement on all of us, if they had waited a month or two for all of us to get aquainted, I probably would have agreed to be your fiancee. But by then, I could see you did like Akane. When the engagement was switched to Nabiki, I was so tempted to buy the engagement from Nabiki for myself. I was sure you would eventually work things out with Akane when she accepted you back, but now, after everything else that has happened, I can't see it working between you two."
(Posted Thu, 29 Jan 2004 06:32)
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