“Oh bite me,” The redhead sorceress grumbled. “The monk and cat kept me up too...my room is on the other side of theirs, you know.” The redheaded sorceress took a seat at their table and leaned on one of her elbow. “Ugh... Gimme a menu now!” She slammed her other fist on the table.
Handing his redhead teammate a menu, Tenchi nodded his head. “You have our condolences. But at least they didn’t bust down your door.” He glared lightly at Church for a moment.
“What the hell was that about? I was somewhat asleep when that happened.” Lina took the menu and waved over a waiter. “Gimme one of everything.”
Blinking, the waiter looked at her funny, but went to go get her order.
“That would be Britanny trying to kill me after I threw a bucket of ice water into Ranma’s room to make them shut up,” Church grumbled irritably.
“Ahhh, makes sense now. That was you getting beaten up.” Lina grinned at the uncomfortable Paladin.
“Oh... Bite me,” Church said, hesitating to insult her too heavily... This girl was nuts and easy to piss off in a fatal way.
Lina looked over at Tenchi and blinked. “Ouch, what happened to your eye?”
“Oh, Church got upset that I left him in a broken position in his bed after Britanny was done with him,” Tenchi explained. “I couldn’t help it. I was so tired I nodded off before I could fix him. So when I fixed him this morning, he socked me.”
“Oh, well can’t say I totally blame him.” Lina shrugged.
“Least I just hit him, you’d declare a curse on his entire family line and all his descendants would die horrible ends.”
Lina fumed. “I wouldn’t do that! I’d just Dragon Slave him!”
“How’s that any better?” Church asked.
Tenchi chuckled nervously. “One way, I’d be dead quickly, the other is long and painful.”
“Exactly,” Lina said with a rather cherub smile. “See, Church? At least he understands.”
“Hence why my hitting you is tame, so stop bitching cockbite,” Church said as he started to finish off his breakfast.
Lina grinned as several plates were dropped before her. Taking her knife and fork in hand she began to dig into the food with a gusto that rivaled the Saotome appetite.
“God damn, I’m still amazed at how this small woman can eat so damn much.” Church muttered to Tenchi.
Tenchi nodded. “Ranma can do the same thing, especially in female form. Only difference is her breasts get in the way of her arms.”
“Yeah, least Lina doesn’t have that problem,” Church said seriously.
And then silverware clattered on the table-top from her limpened grip as Lina glared at the two with a hateful, fiery gaze.
Both males made a hasty retreat across the room. “DON’T KILL US, PLEASE!!!”
Glaring, Lina twitched but sighed. “I’m too hungry to kill you now...” and resumed eating.
Tenchi let out a breath of ease. “Oh, thank God...”
Church held a hand to his chest-plate. “We dodged it that time.”
“Hope we don’t piss her off again,” Tenchi mumbled fearfully.
“If there’s anyone I fear more than God, it’s that titless demon.” Church said lowly so Lina wouldn’t hear the titless part and make him feel worse.
Tenchi just nodded his head rapidly in agreement with the Paladin that gave him his shiner.
Neither noticed how Lina was polishing off their meals until, “Cuckoo eggs? Man, don’t they have any Chocobo?”
“Sadly, no. I asked but nada.” Church answered as he and Tenchi warily made their way back to the table.
Nodding her head, Lina then added, “And these Cuckoo’s must’ve bee sick when they laid these eggs. Because they really suck.”
“Same here...” Church looks at his also empty plate.
Tenchi looked at his empty plate and sighed. “Looks like I’ll have to order more.”
Lina ignored the sad reactions and asked the two, “So whose turn is it to wake up Ranma and his pussycat?”
“Yours.” Church and Tenchi said in unison.
Hearing that, the redheaded sorceress skillfully decided to change the topic, “These eggs were awful. I think Cactaur Steak is less slimey,” Lina grumbled before letting off a soft belch.
“Too bad they couldn’t get Fenrir ribs, but that’s asking too much of this crappy inn.” Church remarked.
“I told you we should’ve stayed at the Sakura Inn, but nOOOoooOOoooo...” Tenchi bitched. “All you guys thought that the cheaper inn would be better...”
“Can it,” The Paladin snapped. “We have to conserve our money. And while I would relish the massages they offered; sometimes sacrifices have to be made,” Church said.
Tenchi frowned and accurately accused, “You just wanted to save an extra gem or two.”
“No shit, cuz you know we get stuffed with collateral bills between Ranma and Lina. It adds up into everyone’s shares, dumbass.” Church explained to his mentally-inferior teammate.
“Hey, don’t pin this on me!” Lina shouted. “I’m not the one that starts fights! I just finish them!”
"With disastrous property-damaging results,” Tenchi amended to her statement.
“Stick-boy has a point. We’re friggin’ lucky no innocents gotten wasted either.” Church threw in.
“Yeah. Because then we would’ve not only had to pay more, but have been thrown in prison as well!” Tenchi shivered at the thought. He was the sort of person used AS currency in those places.
“Yeah, so anyway... Lina go wake up the monk and cat, Tenchi and I will get the last lazy bones,” Church said seriously.
Again, Lina rolled her eyes. “Why do I have to get them. You afraid they’ll finish off what they started last night?”
“Yes,” Tenchi and Church eerily answered in sync once more. “I am NOT going to become a pretzel twice in the span of a night and day,” Church then added for good measure.
Hearing that answer, Lina nodded her head and came to her decision. “Whiny bitches”
“Yeah, whatever go wake ‘em up.” Church waved a hand. “Come on, Tenchi, we better go and get...”
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(Posted Sat, 26 Mar 2005 19:16)
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