[Episode 136019] [Episode 136019]“You and me both," Tenchi admitted with a shiver.
Lina just frowned at the two. "Oh come on! How can you be afraid of Pirotess?"
"We just are." Church retorted, not feeling up to giving more explanation than that.
Tenchi nodded. "She tried to use me for Target practice one time!"
"And she thought I'd make a great component for a sacrifice spell!" Church said to add onto the list of why the Dark Elf was on his list of women to avoid.
Lina rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, I'm the one she tries to kill every night, just because I SOUND like someone she knew, or so she says," Lina grumbled.
"Then why are you bitching at us for being scared of her if you understand our plight since she tries to off you?" Church inquires.
"Because you weenies don't want to go wake up the brat or the cat," Lina said seriously. "Now you can either choose one evil ;or choose the other and awaken Ranma, and Britanny instead of Pirotess.”
"We said we'd wake up Pirotess," Tenchi said. "Doesn't mean we gotta like it though..."
“Add to the fact Ranma and Brit aren’t happy with me, I’d rather not risk them still being pissed at me, and wail on me by default.” Church stated, affirming his reason to risk the wraith of the Dark Elf. “Also if it weren’t for the fact we need to get more loot ASAP, I’d just let them rot in there till they get up at their own leisure.”
"Yeah, we need to find another quest," Tenchi said. "That Dragon woke up pretty quickly, so we couldn't get all her horde. And that Bandit Gang we fought on the way here didn't have much either. We're strapped for cash!" The swordsman whined.
Lina rolled her eyes, "Babies." She sat up from her seat. "Well, come on. We better wake them."
Nodding, the two men got up with Lina, and headed for the stairs, walking up them to the 2nd floor where the inn rooms were located.
"Here goes nothing, now you guys did pack up all yours gear incase all hell breaks lose alright?" Church asked, as always he was packed incase. Never knew when one had to skip town like the hellhounds were nipping at your heels...and Church knew that quite well.
"Umm..." Tenchi hesitated.
"I have everything in my bag of holding," Lina said, she knew the drill quite well.
"Okay times up, if you left anything, there's no going back now." Church then rapped on Pirotess's door. "Yo pointy-ears wake up!" He yelled as he kept knocking on the door.
In her bed, Pirotess drew the covers over her tightly. "Leave me alone! It's too bright out!"
"Oh cry me a fucking river, we got to find a quest to go on and we need cash now! So up and at’ em babe, or I come in and throw ya outta bed!" Church said, a small part of his mind hoping he could since he knew the dark elf slept in the nude.
“Do we even have a quest to go on?” The Dark Elf replied irately.
“Not sure, but knowing Ranma I’ll be the Oz bitch has some news on where to get some loot.” The Paladin reasoned.
"Ugh! That elderly human? Oh, like she's a help. Remember her LAST tip?"
“Hey it was Ranma’s fault he misread her message. How was I supposed to know it was a Dragon’s Lair and not a Drow’s Lair like he said it was?”
"Maybe the fact there was a dragon you and Ranma couldn't stop fucking?" Pirotess hissed through the door.
“Hey! That was after we got into that cave!” Church protested. “Its not my fault the dragon was female, a total babe in human form, and that she wasn’t into girls?”
Tenchi pouted; Church and Ranma got some dragon booty but not him. A damn trap spell had him paralyzed.
"Pervert." Pirotess answered. "Now lemme stay in here until nightfall. Because unless you have a cash-paying quest, I am NOT going out into sunlight anymore than I have to!"
"Oh for the love of...don't make me use a batter ram!" Church yelled louder as he was getting more ticked off. For the love of…and he thought Tucker and Caboose were hard to deal with morons!
The Dark Elf was silent, an evil smirk on her face. "What battering ram?"
"You were warned!" Church then lifted Tenchi up into his arms and backed up in the hallway.
"HEY! LEGGO, CHURCH!" Tenchi cried out as he tried to squirm from the Paladin's grip.
"HEAVE HO!" Church ran at the door and smashed Tenchi headfirst into it, the swordsman's head busting through the door.
"OWW!!!" Tenchi groaned, his head covered in splinters of wood.
"Hmm not enough leverage, back up!" Church pulled him out and backed up again for another pass
"Wait!!!" Tenchi cried to no avail.
Pirotess smirked.
*WHAM*!!!
"Oww..." Tenchi groaned a band aid on his forehead and even more wood-chips in his hair.
Lifting the blanket off of her a bit, Pirotess stared at the swordsman. "Boy, you wanted to see me naked that badly, huh?" She pulled her blanket down a little more to reveal her bare breasts.
His eyes widening, Tenchi's nose spurt a small gusher before he fainted.
Just then Church's helmet smashed through above Tenchi's, the Paladin’s helmet preventing him from suffering the harm that befell Tenchi as he looked in. "Whoo hoo! Dark Elf boobs!"
The Drow woman growled at the sight. "Damn it, Paladin! Get the fuck out of here!" She picked up one of her boots and threw it right at him, hitting Church right in the face.
He wasn't fazed as his helmet visor made out of a magical diamond substance, the same as his entire armor wasn't phased by a mere boot. "Well now that we woke up I guess we can let you be." He pulls his head out and then Tenchi's.
Pirotess pouted rather cutely, an uncommon sight for a Drow. "Ass."
Church stuck his head back in. "Why yes you have a nice ass." If his helmet wasn't on, it was a sure fire thing he winked.
Growling, a ball of fire started to form in Pirotess's hand. As a rogue, she was a little bit of everything. She in particular was a thief with above average sword-skills and a few magical tricks.
"Uh-oh." Church pulled his head out of the hole again and moved out of firing range.
Seeing the Paladin leave, Pirotess grunted and dispelled her magical profectile of fiery pain. "Damn it."
Tenchi whimpered as he pulled the splinters from his face. "Why is my lot in life to be Church's baggage bitch?" "Because you are," Pirotess answered through the door. Tenchi annoyed her, and Church... She hated to admit it, but the Dark Elf DID feel...well…She felt SOMETHING for that man in blue armor. "If only he weren't such a fucking prick," She thought seriously.
"He could be nicer." Tenchi groaned; it was barely noon and already his life was getting bleaker.
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(Posted Wed, 30 Mar 2005 00:40)
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