"What? What!? WHAT!?" Mara shrieked again as her eye twitched.
"Pregnant," Nabiki groaned as she just couldn't believe this was going on.
Hild only looked at Mara with that very same sweet smile while Belldandy gushed for the now pregnant demoness.
"WHAT!?" Was Mara's incomprehensible shriek.
"You're going to be a mother!" Belldandy said. "Just like me!"
"... Pregnant...?" Ranma asked shakily before dropping to the ground.
"WHAT!?!?" Mara shrieked further, feeling a sense of vertigo.
Hild decided to overwhelm Mara. A small amount of petty revenge if you will... "Twins."
"WHAT!?!?!?" Poor Mara screamed, practically blowing the roof off the top of the Shrine as all the color paled from her skin.
The poor demoness passed out and landed atop of Ranma.
"But-but-but..." Ranma wasn't very useful either, in his current condition.
"MY SON IS SO MANLY!!!" Nodoka cried out in victory as she danced around, just adding to the chaos.
Urd burst out laughing. It served Mara right, after all the times she made the goddess of the past's life a living Nifelheim.
Smiling brightly, Belldandy wondered what would be a good setting for a pair of demons to raise children in, in this day and age...
"But she can't be pregnant..." Ranma said in a daze. "I'm supposed to be marrying Dachi-chan! We already have a daughter!" The concept of having children out of wedlock just seemed... wrong to him.
Smirking, it was then Hild decided to bring up a certain aspect of Ranma's 'portfolio' to him...
Urd shivered. She recognized that evil mischievous glint in her mother's eye. Some major shit was going to go down. She decided to step back and hope not to be splattered.
Belldandy blinked her eyes, taken out of her thoughts of ways and places to raise children as Urd started pulling her a bit away from the rest of the group.
"But Ranma-chan..." Hild smirked when Ranma flinched at the endearment. "It would be perfectly alright if you married both of them. You are a demon, after all..."
Ranma stared at Hild...
Then he stared some more...
Then he gulped and continued to stare unblinking...
"... What...?"
"SO MANLY!" Nodoka did turn to regard Hild for this, stopping in mid flip with her victory fans.
It was quite the curious sight with her upside down and floating in midair.
"But... what about Dachi-chan...?" Ranma asked and trailed off, turning to regard the mother of his first child.
Urd rolled her eyes. "I should've known mom would pull something like this..."
Hild's eyes widened at that. "You called me mom!"
The half-demoness/half-goddess blinked her eyes. "...I did..." She shook her head and mumbled, "I must be more off-kilter than I thought."
Urd HATED acknowledging the woman as her mother...
... It just filled the woman with pride and gave her something to gloat about.
"My lovely Urd-chan! Come to momma!" Hild cried as she hugged the goddess tightly.
And it allowed her to embarrass her in front of everyone.
"Ack! NO!" Urd squealed as she was tightly embraced by the older and more powerful demoness treating her like a little kid. "Darn it, Ma! You're embarrassing me!" She struggled to get free. "Mo~Oooom!"
Hild just smirked as she continued to hug onto Urd, having a ball at being able to spend time with her daughter and embarrass the hell out of her.
To the side Kodachi gave Ranma a serene smile and nodded. "It would be for the best, Ranma-sama."
Ranma's eye twitched as his boss continued to ignore him. But hearing Kodachi say that...
That did it for him, he passed out next to Mara.
Now let us follow Kodachi's train of thought for a moment.
We all know she is a possessive and insanely dangerous individual.
Any obstacle in her quest to get her Ranma-sama's attention is to be disposed off with as much treachery as possible.
Now she has just learned that her Ranma-sama, the father of her child, impregnated a demoness.
And she'll be having two of Ranma's children.
Now if Kodachi was any normal woman she'd be very upset and want nothing to do with the bastard children of her soon-to-be husband.
But she was as far away from being normal as Urd was from being a nun.
So...
If she was to keep every single piece of Ranma to herself....
She would have to keep Mara's children as well.
Quite simple and logical, from an illogical point of view.
Now let's leave this train of thought. Oh, and do be careful. It tends to skip its regularly scheduled stops.
Nabiki just shook her head from the side. "I don't even want to know..."
"Let's get everything ready for the wedding before they wake up," Nodoka said, knowing how hard it would be to get Ranma to marry both women otherwise.
Even then it was going to be very tricky.
The newly anointed Goddess of Grandchildren turned to face Belldandy. "Belldandy, do you think you could bless some of those chains that your husband has to tie down car parts at the garage?"
The Norn of the Present smiled and nodded her head.
Nabiki smirked. If anything this was going to be an interesting wedding.
"Oh, Urd-chan?" Nodoka asked brightly.
A muffled reply of, "What?" came from Hild's cleavage.
"Do you think you could hunt down a priest for us quickly while Bell-chan and I get the chains ready?" Nodoka asked sweetly.
"I will if you can get mom to let go..." Urd winced. Crap. She called Hild, 'mom' again...
Hild beamed and turned to Nodoka, without letting go. "I can conduct the wedding... It is, after all, an unusual one."
"You're certified to hold a wedding?" Nodoka asked curiously.
"As I understand it she's the big honcho down there," Nabiki supplied helpfully. "And it is a wedding between demons." Not that Kodachi was one herself, but she was fast on her way to becoming one.
Seeing Hild nod her head, Nodoka just beamed happily. "Let us go, Bell-chan! Let's get the chains!"
Belldandy just nodded and walked out of the room with Nodoka.
Hild finally let go of Urd, who gasped for breath, and turned to Ranma and Mara. With a snap of her fingers both unconscious demons started floating in the air.
...And bumps head with one another... Oh well! Nothing important damaged anyway...
She walked out with the unconscious bodies following.
Nodoka picked up her granddaughter, who was giggling uncontrollably, and followed with happy spring to her step.
---
Mara groaned as she came back to consciousness. In all honesty, she felt like she was going to hurl.
Pregnant...
And expecting TWINS!!!
Yeah. She wanted to hurl.
This whole situation made her sick to her stomach. Her arms and legs felt like they were weighed with lead...
...
"...Wait a minute..." Mara groaned, opened her eyes and found herself tied up in chains.
"What the heaven?!" A familiar male cry came from her side.
Looking to her right, Mara frowned. Yep. Ranma was tied and bound as heavily as she was. "Can you move?" She asked with a groan.
Ranma struggled for all he was worth, but found his strength strangely absent. "... No... You?"
Mara shook her head. "It's blessed. I can barely move let alone struggle to break free."
"Oh good! I see you two are finally awake," Nodoka said as she walked towards the demons. "The preparations are ready."
"Preparations?" Mara asked with an uneasy feeling.
Nodoka nodded. "For your wedding."
Ranma froze. "Wedding?" So he wasn't dreaming that part.
Mara's eyes widened. "Oh, Lucifer no!" She was trying her hardest to move a muscle... Alas, she could barely move at all.
"I'll have the others join us. Kodachi-chan just got finished dressing up as well." With that Nodoka left the room again, which now both Ranma and Mara recognized as the actual shrine complete with inverted pentagram for a demonic wedding.
"... Ranma..." Mara said slowly as she took the sight of the decor. "They went all out. Black roses, Satan Pentagram instead of a cross, bits of goat blood splattered here and there..." She was turning deathly pale. "We're not getting out of this..."
The pigtailed demon paled with her. "But... there has to be a way out!"
"...I can't wiggle my big toe, and they got the whole shebang for a demonic wedding!" Mara said seriously. "Unless you can somehow magically grow wings and fly us the fuck out of here, we're getting married!"
"... But we hate each other! This is not going to work," Ranma said. Let it be known that he had no idea about demon bonding ceremonies.
"Of course we fucking hate each other!" Mara hissed. "Why do you think the boss is doing this to us!?"
"Huh?" Ranma asked intelligently.
"She's going to do everything to make our lives even more of a hell than where we live and work," Mara said. "Now think... What's worse than us working together for all eternity?"
"... We're fucked..." Ranma mumbled and slumped down even further.
"Exactly..." Mara groaned.
And then, on the air, came a demonic version of the song 'Here Comes the Bride.'
It sounded rather funky with heavy metal.
Ranma turned like a condemned man and his eyes widened in disbelief and lust.
Kodachi looked...
... Looked...
Looked more Kodachi than ever before!!!
How Kodachi looked was unlike anything before, but it was all her. The wedding dress was the deepest shade of black, deeper than the blackest pitch. It formed a mixture of indecent lingerie, what with how it was mostly see-through around her abdomen and just above her crotch. The only think keeping that decent was the long, tight skirt that hugged her legs, giving a perfect outline of her curves. There was a collar to the dress, outlined with black raved feathers.
And the outfit was topped out with elbow-length skin-tight black leather gloves and a black leather collar.
"Dachi-chan... You look... so evil!" Ranma said in awe, which elicited a beaming smile from the Kuno woman.
A smile made only more vicious by the black lipstick with just the smallest hint of blood red and the black eye shadow and eye-liner.
So entranced was he that he didn't notice the others entering the room.
He didn't, but Mara did.
Particularly Hild as she carried the Necronomicon in her hands.
It was Hild that would officiate the wedding!
Mara shivered. With the human flesh-bound book of ultimate evil in Hild's hands... There was no way to get out of this.
Kodachi took her position next to Ranma, giving him a lustful smile, as everyone got to his or her places.
She even bounced lightly, showing off the swell of her breasts due to the exposed cleavage for her intended.
If she could keep Ranma's mind off of the wedding while it was going on, it would all be well. She just had to make sure he was distracted.
*Bounce*
*Bounce*
*Bo~ounce*
Ranma definitely wasn't paying attention to the wedding.
Mara, on the other hand...
Looking up at the sky, Mara had streams of tears pouring from her eyes. "I'm gonna get you for this, Kami-sama... Just you wait!" She actually didn't give a flying fuck about the old bastard, but she had to focus her anger on someone and Hild wasn't a safe outlet.
Hild stood before the soon-to-be married trio and smirked. "Hated and damned, we are united here to join these three individuals in the eternal suffering that is marriage."
As Hild spoke, the Necronomicon repeated it, but in the language of the damned...
Much like how an older Catholic wedding, the priest would then repeat the speech for matrimony in Latin.
Hild continued with the ceremony and finally reached the critical part. "If there is anyone here that would like to object to this union, let him or her speak and spend the rest of his/her days in eternal suffering in Hell."
At this Hild gave Mara a pointed look.
Mara looked at her boss pleadingly. "...You hate me that much, huh?"
Note that she wasn't objecting...
...But she still wanted to know if she REALLY deserved THIS fate!
"Hate you, Mara-chan? Would I do this for you if I did?" Hild asked innocently. "I'm having you marry one of the most powerful demons in existence, who is easy to manipulate." If damn hard to control, she added to herself.
Mara whimpered. There was NO WAY to control Ranma! None! Absolutely nothing!
*Bounce*
Then again, considering how Kodachi was controlling him in this situation...
*Bounce*
Hild cleared her throat and smiled at Kodachi. "Do you, Kuno Kodachi, take this demon to be your husband? To help bring chaos and destruction in his wake and damn your soul for eternal servitude to utter evil?"
The Norn goddesses twitched at this mockery of wedding vow and looked uncomfortably at each other.
Why did they help at all anyway?
Next to them Nodoka was beaming with pride and crying happily...
That was why.
"I do," Kodachi said with conviction.
Nabiki, in the meantime, took out a camera and readied herself to take a picture. Hild instructed her very carefully about this.
Hild nodded. "Do you, Saotome Ranma, take this woman and this demoness as your wives? To beat up and rape, ravish and take advantage of, for the rest of eternity?"
Ranma was too busy looking at Kodachi's cleavage.
*Bounce*
He nodded his head following the hypnotic motions of Kodachi's breasts.
Hild resisted the urge to laugh. "I'm sorry, Kodachi-chan. But we actually need him to accept verbally to make it binding."
Kodachi pouted before she smirked and whispered to Ranma about something.
"Absolutely!" Ranma blurted out without a moment of hesitation.
"My son is so manly!"
Kodachi smirked and looked at Hild.
Hild returned the smile. Kodachi would make such a fine demoness when she died.
Finally, the moment that Mara dreaded the most came as Hild turned to regard her.
The Demoness whimpered. "... I'm gonna be damned..."
Hild smirked as Nabiki prepared herself for the picture. It would be priceless. "Do you, Mara, accept to bring forth unending suffering upon the innocent and turn peace into chaos? To join your eternal hellish existence to Ranma, demon of fertility and bastard children?"
The click of the camera took Mara's horrified look of realization and would preserve it for posterity.
It was all staged from the beginning...
The assignment with the new demon...
The stupid thing about proving her control over Ranma by screwing him... Which was the only time she didn't wear protection...
Mara twitched...
And worst of all!
If Ranma was a demon of fertility...
She'd ALWAYS be pregnant!!!
Which meant no alcohol.
From Demoness First Class Unlimited to powerless baby-demon factory...
The demoness started outright weeping.
She could always say no...
...But where was the fun in that?
And she was pretty sure Hild would come out with something even worse. If at all possible.
But she best keep her mouth shut on that, lest Hild manage it.
Hild raised an eyebrow as she waited for Mara's response.
Mara whimpered and answered with a question. "...Will you at least promise not to tell anyone back in Nifelheim about this?"
"I won't tell a soul," Hild said in all seriousness.
Mara nodded her head slowly. "Fine. Then I accept this arrangement..." She said with no small amount of worry. Somehow she didn't like the wording of the promise...
Hild smiled at her before turning to Kodachi. "You are now married, Kodachi-chan. You may fuck your life mates."
Belldandy leaned close to Urd. "Isn't it 'kiss the bride'?"
Urd rolled her eyes. "These are demons. What do you expect? Romance or carnal pleasure?"
Belldandy blinked her eyes at that just as Kodachi gave out her trademark laugh and dragged both Ranma and Mara to another room to desecrate the shrine.
"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!"
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(Posted Thu, 02 Jun 2005 02:38)
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