"Yeah," Ukyou agreed, nodding sympathetically.
"I'm still going to need some sort of tally, Ranma-kun," Nabiki noted. "I mean, if you can remember, can you give me a list of ... who all you slept with?"
Ranma closed his eyes, and nodded. "You're going to kill me," he said flatly. "But okay. Um.... Hinako-sensei pulled me into her class first."
Akane flopped to the floor, covering her hands with her face. "I knew it," she grumbled. "You did have a thing for her."
"Er...." Ranma swallowed. "Then I ran into Ucchan and Kodachi."
"Feeling brave, were we?" Nabiki asked, writing down his encounters in order on her pad of paper.
Ukyou giggled in embarrassment, and demurred, "Well, 'Dachi-chan's not that bad if you get to know her."
"Yeah, she's really surprisingly gentle," Ranma agreed, before wincing at what he'd let slip out. "Um, anyway-"
"I'm pleased that you remember our dalliance with such fondness," Kodachi said from the doorway of the dojo. "I rang the bell, but power seems to be out, and I had no desire to knock at the challenge gate today. I do hope I'm not intruding."
"Not at all!" Kasumi said cheerfully. "Make yourself at home."
"Thank you," Kodachi said, joining the circle, seating herself next to Ranma. "Have you all been following the news?"
"Been trying, but most of it wasn't worthwhile," Nabiki said with a shrug.
"Mmm," Kodachi mused. "Well, I have, and things have finally gotten to a point where people can make ... decisions, though I question the wisdom of them."
"Eh?" Ranma noised. "What's that mean?"
"Ah," she said clasping her hands together and smiling brightly at Ranma. "I have some good news for you, though, Ranma-sama, I've seen to it that you shall not be forced to be married to anyone. Aside from myself, of course."
Ranma's left eyebrow ticced violently, and an aura of blue seemed to erupt from around him, an actinic blue bonfire that began to singe his kimono. "Oh?" he asked in a quiet, steely voice.
"Indeed," Kodachi said, her eyes distant as she seemed not to notice Ranma's pyrotechnic display.
"How'd you do that?" he grated out, trying to throw images of him and Kodachi together against his anger, struggling to keep it suppressed.
"Well," she said slowly, frowning. "Once I heard the law had been passed, I knew what must be done immediately. So I've purchased your marriage contract and we've already been wed -- the ceremony will have to be later, I suppose. But now I'm your first wife."
Ranma felt ready to explode, but Nabiki was curious, and interjected, "Sorry, could you clarify that point for me, Kodachi? 'First Wife'?" Ukyou and Konatsu were back to holding Akane down, though the youngest Tendo looked like she wasn't certain if she wanted to tear Ranma in half, or Kodachi. Ukyou looked like she was having a hard time making herself keep Akane restrained from attacking the gymnast.
"Of course!" Kodachi said, turning a smile upon Ranma, which quickly vanished. "Oh, dear. Ranma-sama, are you upset with me?"
"You just...." He gritted his teeth, and closed his eyes. "My mom sold me to you like a slab of meat," he said tonelessly. "I'm doing just great."
"Oh, dear. It's not like that at all! You must understand, if I didn't purchase your contract, anyone else who could speak to your mother would get it instead. And in her state ... I don't think it would take much to convince her. But I wasn't doing this to try and trap you to me, Ranma-sama. With the new provisions to the law, you can have up to five wives."
Ranma seemed to relax at hearing this, but only very slightly. "So, now I gotta worry about four other girls buying me," he grumbled.
"Oh, no, as your first wife, it's my decision as to whom you may marry," Kodachi corrected. "But now that you have me, I'll let you choose whomsoever you wish."
"Err," Ranma managed, his aura winking out. "Whoever?"
"No, Ranma-sama, whomsoever."
"Err," Ranma managed again. "Okay. That doesn't really sound so bad as it could have been."
"Agreed," Nabiki said, nodding.
"So he can still marry us?" Akane asked, raising an eyebrow warily.
"Oh, well, only one of you," Kodachi said apologetically. "I'm afraid that since you're all from the same family, the three of you would really only be considered to count against one of Ranma-sama's wives."
"How convenient!" Kasumi exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "I've always wanted my sisters to be at my wedding!"
"Yeah, but I didn't plan on getting married with you two," Akane sighed, realizing the futility of her temper.
"Hey," Nabiki said with a shrug, "rich in-laws."
"If I may make a suggestion, though, Ranma-sama," Kodachi said primly, "you should probably marry Ukyou-chan next. After all ... had we not shared you, I might not have had the courage to see this plan through."
Ranma nodded absently, putting one arm around Kodachi -- his wife, he realized distantly. Or, at least, his first wife. He pulled her close and she blushed at the contact, but did not resist. He realized what he was doing at the same time he realized that Ukyou had glomped on to his other side. Akane glowered. Ranma was pinned, and Konatsu wasn't able to hold her down.
So he really couldn't do anything but smile when she planted herself in his lap. "You're gonna marry us, you know," Akane warned him. He nodded mutely.
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(Posted Mon, 18 Jul 2005 20:15)
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