It had seemed the perfect scheme. She had needed some muscle for a big deal; all she needed to do was trick Ranma into providing said muscle.
Then the perfect opportunity had come up. An argument with Akane about his scholastic aptitude, right in front of the signup sheet for the study abroad program. A little bit of manipulative wordplay on her part and she had soon had Ranma verbally arguing that he could pass the requirements easily.
It had been the perfect setup. How could she resist making the bet? Erasing Ranma’s debt against a whole week of servitude? It seemed the perfect scheme. She would have the muscle she needed for her latest scam, and could make even more money selling Saotome off to his various fiancées as dates.
Nabiki growled. “It should have worked... a whole week of Saotome obeying my every whim.”
It should have been easy! Everyone knew Ranma was just barely passing Hinako’s English class, there was no way he could pass the English fluency requirement for the program.
Nabiki looked smug as Ranma sat in the classroom with the other applicants waiting for the fluency tester to appear. She had personally arranged for the toughest one available to further cement her victory. Suddenly, the door barged open as a tall American man in uniform entered.
“Greetings! I am SEAL Sergeant Anderson and I understand you pansies want to head over to my country the USA,” the man growled out in rough English, startling most of those present. Although Ranma looked confused and pensive. “Anyway let’s see who we got here......”
The Sergeant barked out the names, causing those he called to sit up straight in petrified fear. Until he reached the S’s of the list and paused.
“Saotome.... Ranma Saotome.....” He looked up at the pigtailed boy and his eyes squinted. “You wouldn’t be... you couldn’t be.... Not Little Stallion???”
Ranma paused and blushed and then to Nabiki’s surprise yelled back in perfect English. “DAMMIT! I TOLD YOU GUYS NOT TO CALL ME THAT! Do you know how embarrassing that name was when I was eight?! What made ya think I’d stand for it now you jack ass!!”
The sergeant paused eyes wide, than threw his head back roaring with laughter. “It is you by gun. The training course ain’t been the same since you and your pa stopped by for a few months... I tell you I still haven’t found anything close to being able to motivate these newbie pansies I get as being outdone on the obstacle by a kid. With full combat gear even! Hell you still hold the damn course record back on base.”
Ranma grinned “Hey, not my fault you’ve been recruiting such wimps. Heh, maybe you should try using wolves like pop did to increase my speed?”
The sergeant looked thoughtful before shaking his head. “Naah...some civvie hippie would complain about being cruel to animals... I tell you it’s not like the good old days....”
Nabiki twitched on the floor where she had face faulted, as Ranma and the sergeant discussed past memories and new training techniques.
Nabiki groaned in remembrance. Of course Genma would have had Ranma trained under American commandos in his quest to perfect his martial arts. How was she to know that the reason Ranma slept in Hinako’s class was because he already knew the material and realized just how silly the English lessons Hinako was giving were?
Still it shouldn’t have been a problem. After all how in the world could his grades have been high enough to be approved for the program?
The bureaucrat lackey quivered in fear, his eyes staring at the quivering pocket protector that was now buried halfway into his desk. His solid steel desk in his locked office.
“W-w-what do y-you want?” He stuttered to the cloaked men that had suddenly appeared before him, just as he was about to deny the Saotome application for overseas exchange student.
“We are members of the ‘Insurance seller-fu style of martial arts’. You see we service the Nerima district in insurance be it property, auto, medical, or life. Ever since a certain Mr. Saotome took up residence in Nerima, our sales have increased 500%.” One of the figures spoke up in a nasal voice.
The other one continued his voice equally as shrill and geeky. “However since Saotome has arrived, our payouts for said policies have increased 700%. This is.... unacceptable. We have calculated that a brief year or longer absence by Mr. Saotome will allow a more profitable balance in insurance sales and payouts, while providing us time to reinvest and secure our holdings in order to diversify away the risk Mr. Saotome provides to our operations. You... will be providing the necessary absence of Mr. Saotome that we require by approving his exchange student status....”
“If he is so dangerous, why don’t you just challenge him and beat him up like you did security?”
The two masked ninja-geeks glared at the paper pusher in horror. “Are you mad? Saotome has shown an unnatural ability to absorb and assimilate whatever martial arts style is used against him, and then improve upon it! Were we to challenge him there is a 95% probability he would improve our own accounting techniques and drive us out of business! No you, will send him away... and you will do it… NOW!”
The paper pusher gulped and nodded his head frantically, before swiftly stamping an approved sign onto Ranma’s papers.
Nabiki still flinched as she remembered the painful act of erasing Ranma’s debt as he danced in victory. Still that wasn’t so bad. Give him a few weeks around her and she could probably arrange it so he was in deeper debt than ever before! I mean what were the chances Ranma would be allowed to actually go?
“No I forbid it! You will stay here with your fiancee! We have the minister on speed dial!” Genma yelled out at Ranma as he read the letter.
“My son.... So manly... being chosen to represent Japan in America...with....American girls...” Nodoka paused and considered. Her son was being stifled here in Nerima. The girls were far too eager to be the first, and only one for her son. They all wanted him for themselves, which was understandable since her son was so manly. They were so busy, they were forcing her son to be chaste and act shy. The girls needed to accept the fact that Ranma was far too manly for just one of them. I mean how else would she get all the grandbabies she desired?
Then she thought of America, with its distance from the fiancee squad. And of course everyone KNEW how those gaijin American girls were. So many opportunities for her manly son, without his jealous fiancees. And while Ranma was gone, she might be able to convince them of the truth concerning her son. Nodoka giggled.
“Actually Genma I think it would be a wonderful idea for Ranma to see the world.”
“NO! Ranma needs to marry Akane! He does not have time to deal with these foolish gaijin. I absolutely.....” Genma paused as he heard the slow rasp of a sword leaving its sheath. Little droplets of sweat appearing on his forehead. “.....errr...I absolutely agree that this would be a wonderful opportunity for the boy! To learn about the world and other styles of fighting.... don’t you agree Tendo? After all Absence does make the heart grow fonder and all that....”
Nabiki growled again. After that it didn’t take long for her father to fold and the two acting like the whole thing was their own idea. They even named it ‘Operation: Far-Flung Love’ for heavens sake.
And of course just to make it complete, the fiancee squad knew that she had been the one who had convinced Ranma to sign up in the first place. It hadn’t helped matters that she had already accepted pre-orders on several dates from the girls. Now they were hunting her!
“DAMN YOU RANMA!!!! BECAUSE OF YOU I HAVE TO GIVE OUT REFUNDS!!!”
Climbing high into the sky in the airplane, Ranma sneezed violently and blinked. Shrugging his shoulders he glanced back down at the sheet of paper in front of him that detailed the place he would be rooming in while he attended......
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(Posted Wed, 20 Jul 2005 21:59)
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