Meanwhile back on the roof...
Six hummed to herself softly as she ran her fingers through Ranma's hair and played with his pigtail. Although something else other than the boy who was resting his head on her breasts was on Six's mind at the moment. Well, he wasn't completely out of her thoughts, she made sure he was comfortable, that his sleep wasn't being disturbed by her humming, that sort of thing. But something else was on her mind at the moment; it had been on her mind all day.
Jane had a name, a name she had given herself, but a name nonetheless. She had a point. She was a dragon, and dragons had names. So logically, Six needed a name too. What that name was to be was the question. A Japanese name was out; Six thought they were just plain stupid. It was like 'hello my name is bla bla bla, it means bla bla bla, but it has absolutely nothing to do with anything about me'. Six had become disenchanted with the whole idea thanks to that. Maybe Jane really did have a point going with a simple name.
The sound of a door opening near her made Six sigh. "So, couldn't find her?" she asked in draconic and in a tone too low for a human to hear.
"FOUL SWINE!"
"Huh?" Six mumbled before looking up and blinking at the sight she saw. There was a man in a blue dress waving a stick around. Well, maybe it wasn't a dress, it could have been something like a bathrobe judging by the top. Oh wait they're just really baggy pants... I think, Six corrected herself. It wasn't just Japanese names that were weird, their clothes were too.
"So, the foul sorcerer Saotome has finally brought his true nature out for all to see and stooped to bringing outsider whores to this sacred land with his dark magic," Kuno said before raising his great and holy wooden blade up to the heavens in order to smite the stain upon the just and noble school that threatened to ruin it completely.
As the bitch of a woman cowered over her sleeping dark master, the mighty Blue Thunder could already see the celebration the students would hold in his honor...
-Kuno's mind-
It was the end of lunchtime as the students of the once proud Furinkan High gathered in the courtyard, cowering in fear at the fate that would soon befall them. Overhead, the sky was darkened by black clouds of foul magic that blocked out the sun and killed all manner of plant life, as well as drove away any birds and other small beautiful animals that once called the courtyard of the school their home with their ominous presence. Only the rats remained, running every which way and gathering in hordes larger than a man just outside the students' vision.
"Oh whatever shall we do?" a young maiden cried out in despair.
"Despair!" the poor wretch Akane Tendo cried out between sobs. "For surely when Saotome comes he shall take another's purity as he has done to me!" All the women around Akane cried for her as they all remembered the only way Saotome could get Akane's honorable father to agree to a wedding with the poor girl. Of course the purity of Akane's womb had rejected Saotome's dark seed, there was never a chance that she could ever bear his child, but the fact that he had used his magic to take her to his bed was horrible enough.
"I just know I'm going to be next!" the pigtailed girl cried while tears rolled down her eyes. "Isn't there anyone who can free us from this monster?"
Suddenly a bolt of blue lightning cut through the black clouds and struck the top of the school with a deafening crash. Almost immediately, the dark clouds overhead dissipated and the injuries Saotome's black magic had caused to nature started to heal days worth of damage in mere moments. All around the schoolyard the female students slowly picked themselves up from the ground, and dared hope of an end to the monster's tyranny after so long.
On the rooftop above, the most brave and noble samurai of all time stepped into view. All around the miserable students, the grass, trees, and flowers that seemed to be doing much better turned towards the divine light that shined from this noblest of warriors and their regeneration became almost instantaneous while small birds and animals returned to reclaim their homes. Nature itself tried to help with the greatest of samurai's introduction by sending a breeze of newly bloomed cherry blossom petals, but even the most beautiful thing in nature paled in comparison to his magnificence.
"Fear not," Kuno cried out loudly so everyone could hear him. "I have slain the foul monster Saotome! You are free!" Then he revealed to everyone what was in his hands. The severed head of the foul Saotome hung from its pigtail, clenched in Kuno's fist, while the other one held the heads of the two gaijin whores that he had brought with him.
A mighty cheer erupted from the crowd, and as soon as Kuno jumped down from the roof and landed with more grace than ten thousand ballet dancers, all of the women were upon him to give their thanks.
"Oh Master Kuno you saved us!"
"Take me Master Kuno!" another girl cried.
"No me!" another girl shouted before decking the first. "I'll be the one Master Kuno has to celebrate his victory!"
Kuno laughed cheerfully as a fight quickly erupted between all the girls of Furinkan High to have the privilege of being taken to bed by the great man in front of them. "Now, now girls, you'll EACH get a turn in bed with me."
-Reality-
Kuno chuckled and drooled at the fact that he'd soon be sleeping with every girl in his school. Well... except for the ugly ones, or the fat ones, and Kuno was willing to forgive the fact that Akane had been ruined for marriage. It seemed fate had chosen for the samurai to have the pigtailed girl as his future wife, while Akane would just be his mistress. Even though the thought that she had been violated by Saotome made Kuno ill, his great compassion was willing to forgive that sin when she begged him for forgiveness.
"Umm... what the hell are you talking about?" Six asked, as she looked the weirdo up and down. When she had first glanced at him the dragon thought he had a sword in his hands, but it turned out the thing was just a stick shaped like a blade. That, on top of his apparent stupidity, told the dragon to just ignore him unless all his ramblings were disturbing her husband's sleep. As Jane constantly said when the subject of hunting down Fauntleroy came up nowadays, 'morons aren't worth a dragon's time and energy'.
Kuno thrust his sword in the direction of Saotome's bitch, the fact that he actually heard the foul creature's odious voice made him want to tear off his own ears before her taint infected the rest of his body. "Be silent and prepare to accompany your master on a trip to the afterlife demon whore! I, the Blue Thunder of Fur-"
Six didn't let the idiot in front of him continue before she started casting a spell. Although the boy in front of her was obviously crazy, and thus not very much of a threat, especially considering the wooden sword that he was waving around instead of a real one, no one was allowed to insult a dragon without at least dying for it. So before the idiot standing over her could even finish his speech, Six raised her hand up to the sky and said some short magic words, waved her hand around as a transparent circle of energy formed around her wrist, and then called down a lighting bolt from the sky to nail the fool and turn his wooden sword to dust.
Six winced at the rather loud sound of mystical lighting turning the boy in front of her into a pile of charred flesh. Oh boy! Ranma isn't going to like this, Six told herself as she looked down at the boy... and saw her fears of him waking up too early from his lunchtime nap were unfounded. It was bad enough that she kept him up late last night to watch some show on television and explain all the cultural jokes she didn't get, but Six was pretty certain even Ranma's patience would be ruined if she messed up his only chance to catch up on his sleep.
"I-I............ fight......... on."
You gotta be kidding me, Six thought to herself as the charred boy tried to do more than lift himself off the floor. What was it about annoying humans that just made them refuse to die? First there were those Diggers sisters, and then that Akane girl (although her being around still was more because of Ranma than her own stubbornness), and now this fool. Was it written somewhere that everything small enough to step on would be an annoyance for all eternity? Raising her hand, Six let loose with a new spell she had put together after staying up late the other night and watching an anime marathon that consisted of these adorably cute shows about a bunch of children that went around trying to kill each other and destroy literary works. "ZA KAM!"
Okay, so it wasn't exactly like Zatch's lightning, it didn't out of her mouth, but she needed that to actually say the incantation. All in all, Six considered it a good enough imitation. In front of Six the lightning lashed out to strike Kuno and took a good piece of the roof with him in the ensuing explosion this time.
Of course with the shouting dragon, unnatural weather pattern, loud idiot, and somewhat deafening explosion, Ranma's rather insane ability to sleep though any noise had finally reached the end of its rope. So the pigtailed boy quickly awoke in 'someone's trying to kill/mallet me' mode, and jumped up to look around wildly for the person who was trying to kill or maim him. Although, after getting a good look around, the sight of a missing roof and open air classroom below him left question marks dancing above Ranma's head.
"Oh sire I'm sorry!" Six cried out after getting to her feet. Idiot, she chided herself, what were you doing shouting in his ear and launching such a loud attack like that? Thoughts along those lines had Six looking at Ranma like a kicked puppy that had just chewed up her owner's favorite shoe.
"Uh it's... okay," Ranma replied before looking around to try and redirect the conversation away from the destruction his 'wife' had caused. In fact his eagerness to make her stop looking at him with that look made Ranma completely disregard his thoughts of just why Six had torched the roof and try and find some other topic.
That task ended up being easier than usual when he noticed one of their group was absent. "Uh Six, where's Jane?"
"Oh she went to talk to that Tendo girl... I think," Six told him, somewhat relieved Ranma was not going to go off on her for waking him up.
"WHAT?" Ranma shouted in a panic. That brought a few rather unpleasant thoughts to mind, like a giant purple lizard happily chewing away while a bloody and torn gi of a tomboy lay on the street below. Although Jane hadn't killed anyone since they came to Japan, he wasn't going to chance putting her in the same room with someone that had a temper like Akane's. Calming himself down over the fact that there weren't any army tanks or people shouting Godzilla around, Ranma started for the door to the stairs. "Come on, we gotta go find her."
Six happily agreed and latched onto her husband's arm. On the way down the stairs the dragon started humming the song that had been running in her head ever since she cast her spell on the roof. Ranma just glanced up to the taller woman, and then resolved to make sure she never saw an episode of pokémon.
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(Posted Wed, 30 Nov 2005 00:24)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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