"Damn her...." she muttered, unable to keep herself from trying to blame her former friend for all that had happened. However, she couldn't help feeling that some of the blame should have come her way, as she was there, and wasn't able to recognize the dangers that were coming from within NERV itself. She'd been too busy trying to help stop the Angels to see that some of those around her had been working on controlling the very thing that she had wanted to stop. And what made it worse was that, even after all that had happened, a part of her actually cared about the scientist, as it still hurt so much to think about the betrayal.
Half screaming out her pain, she whipped her hand to the side and slammed her fist into the wall.
"Physical activity can help with that sort of feeling, but I think that it's better to try it in a way that's made for that sort of thing," idly commented a female voice. "Don't you, Major Katsuragi?"
"Huh? Who's there?" Misato growled, jolted out from the pain enough to think.
"Don't worry. I'm not here to do anything to you."
"Then why won't you come out? And how do you know my name?"
"Because I don't want to fight you. But it's part of my job to know who's who."
"Then who are you?"
The first sight of the woman was a pair of shapely legs coming down the stairs, clad in tight pants, but soon she looked upwards, and saw a woman with dark, chin length hair walking towards her. "Major Motoko Kusanagi, Planetary Security Division, Section Nine."
"'Planetary Security'?"
"Someone has to make certain that the new government actually has a chance to govern, and that some of those who come here don't start up trouble."
"I see. I suppose that you're here to see after... her."
"Doctor Akagi is someone else's business, not mine."
"Is that so?"
Kusanagi shrugged. "Regular surveillance is all that's needed for her, and basic techniques work with her."
"Is that why she's running free?"
"Partly. Mainly because she's in limbo. She doesn't have that 'Human Instrumentality Plan' to work on, so she doesn't have anything that looks likely to give her an agenda. On the other hand, no one can be sure that she won't be tempted, even if she starts work with the best of intentions, so no one really trusts her. So, they don't get close, and she can't find a way to fix it. You need a chance for that, and no one's giving her a real one."
"Why tell me this? Trying to get me to start feel sorry for her?"
"Hardly. As it is, she's made her own bed, and it's time for her nap. I'm just trying to help you understand why she's free."
"By telling me secret information."
"None of this is 'secret'. We know about it, she knows about it, and so does everyone else," the security major replied, looking over the railing.
"I see. Then you just came to soothe my feelings."
"And to meet you. I was happy enough observing you, but I thought that having a meeting would be fine."
"Is that so? What about me would interest you? I mean, you don't see me as a security threat, do you?"
"Actually, we were thinking of transferring you to our department."
"WHAT?!"
"It's not like you don't have the qualifications."
"Yeah," the former NERV officer muttered. "If you need someone to ignore what you're looking for, I'm your woman."
"However, you're great at directing operations, coming up with strategic planning quickly, and have clearly defined lines of loyalty, honor, and other principles that would make you a good part of my section."
"Really?"
"Yes, 'really'. No one can fault your skills in those areas, and you were not someone who was supposed to look for traitors. So stop beating yourself up over it. Now, if you had been working for my supervisors, then or now, you couldn't risk missing any sort of conspiracy, plot, or even greedy scheme. Even if it was from the biggest idiot in the city, you would be expect to figure out what they were up to as soon as possible."
"Thanks, but no thanks. I'm done with backstabbing, deals in the dark, and all that sort of mess. As a military officer, I'm supposed to be able to believe that the people around me are fighting for the same things that I am. And I'm not about to go sticking in my head to look for a bunch of idiots who don't realize that when people put their faith into them, it's their responsibility and duty to not betray it. What I want is to be able to have people around me that I can count on, and who won't be hiding any 'secret agendas'. The biggest plot that I want is a surprise birthday party."
"And that's why we chose to not ask you to join our teams, or simply transfer you," Motoko stated simply
"Huh?"
"We have to deal with all sorts of plots, plans and other troubles. For us, it's a job to go out and find out what criminals might be plotting, what politicians might be on the take, or simply who's hacking a high security company this week. And sometimes, we'll come across the sorts of people who would use trust and twist it to their advantage. That would be something that you couldn't be able to stomach, and it would likely cause trouble for your performance."
"Much as I hate to admit it, you're right."
"I know. But I do wish that I wasn't. Then maybe you wouldn't have gone through what you did. Circumstances like that make some of the things that I've seen look like nothing. Humanity would have still been there on my world, in some shape or another."
"That's what those idiots thought where I came from. They thought that they knew what was best, and decided for us. We weren't children, you know."
"But they were."
Misato stared at the other woman. "What?"
"'Kids in a sandbox.' They were more powerful than most children, but they were still playing games, and didn't even know it."
"And we were too stupid to see that they were."
"Not 'stupid'. Blinded by need, perhaps. Or maybe you weren't able to see simply because what you needed to see wasn't there for you to do that."
"Still, I don't plan on getting caught like that again."
"That's a good idea."
"Thanks."
"Just remember to live too," Kusanagi told her as she started to walk away.
"I'm sure that I will."
"Me too."
"Good to know."
"Oh. Katsuragi?" Motoko murmured as she stood shoulder to shoulder with the other woman, though they stood in opposite directions.
"What?"
"We'll be keeping an eye on your progress."
"That's going to be how it is?"
"Only way to be ready for a time if you ever get to be able to work with us."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I hope that time never comes."
"I might agree with you on that."
Major Katsuragi heard the other officer walk out the same door that Misato herself had come in through, and sighed to herself. She didn't relax though, as her eyes focused with precision on something that only she could see, and her previous emotion was gone in favor of a deeply thoughtful expression. There was much that she had heaped upon her shoulders, and she needed to be able to handle it all. However, she was certain that she could handle it, and she pressed her lips together in a show of determination, while:
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