Shinji Hikari was sitting in his guardian Misato's home in front of the TV, watching the newest DVD from the series 'Neon Genesis Evangelion', a series some crazy Anime company released after the first few of the Eva's battles against the Angels.
"They got it all wrong," he mumbled to himself. "All that silliness about the Second Impact... It's not true, Adam never landed in Antarctica, it was on Hawaii - and the disaster only destroyed that single island. The first Angel that attacked Tokyo wasn't Sachiel, it was Shamshel... And while we managed to beat Sachiel shortly after, he somehow escaped... Seriously, those movie directors..."
Misato has entered the room and overheard Shinji's remarks. She smirked. "I'll guess they want to make the story sound more dramatic so that even more people would watch it."
"Even so, they should've make me look a little bit more like a hero," the Third Child grumbled. "What's next, my father creating an army of clones?"
Misato grinned. "Don't be silly now..."
Suddenly, the building's walls began shaking.
"Please tell me that is just an Earthquake," Shinji said while looking at Misato.
Suddenly, her cell phone came to life. "Misato, Shinji, return to headquarters immediately! Sachiel has returned!"
----
Would Sachiel have a human face, he would have grinned as he stomped on another house in the outskirts of Tokyo. It is hard for humans to understand an Angel's way of thinking, but at the moment, the enormous colossus was simply having fun.
----
Somewhere out in space, a beaked visage was leaning over a monitor and chuckled. "Well, what chaotic destruction... But just look at how ugly he is... maybe we should add a small deal of silliness..."
"What are your commands, captain?" one of the penguins asked.
Penguinovsky made what he thought to be an impressive pose. "Prepare the Non-Sense-Ray! Aim for that creature! If that city is going to be destroyed, we want it to be destroyed by craziness."
"Right away, sir!"
In the shadows of the room, a small, winged shape had listened to the conversation between the penguins. Having heard enough, it flew outside, unseen by any penguin that was nearby.
----
Sachiel was just about to use his energy blast to destroy a big building, when he saw something shiny in the corner of his 'eyes'.
He turned around just in time to be hit by a beam that was gleaming as bright as a star... and got completely engulfed in it.
The people of Tokyo, who had just been busy escaping the rampage of the giant, looked up in confusion as the bright light vanished and the form of Sachiel became visible once again.
Only that it wasn't the enormous Angel any more... it was an enormous...
belly dancer?
The blonde giantess that appeared in Sachiel's place was indeed dressed in a scandalous outfit, similar to that of an Arabian belly dancer, complete with big fluffy feathers attached to the backside of her costume. She raised her arms and took a good look at her hands. Afterwards... she giggled.
Then she started dancing. Wiggling her hips, she actually managed to show an outstanding performance, which could've make her famous if she showed it in Las Vegas...
...only that her steps, skips and hip movements were causing almost as much destruction as Sachiel has done previously. So, after looking at the absurd scene in bewilderment, the population of Tokyo once again continued fleeing in a panic.
----
Hyuga stared at the screen which had shown NERV's team everything that had just happened to Sachiel.
"What the heck just happened?" he blurted out.
Gendo Ikari stroked his beard. "I really... really... can't tell you that. Perhaps... it's some sort of Angel tactic? Confusing the enemy... or something like that?"
"Well, if that's true, he... Um, I mean, she, is doing a great job."
Just then Misato entered the room. "We just arrived," she told Gendo. "Shinji is already being prepared for engaging the Angel with Unit 01."
"About time," the head commander snapped. "Where in the world are the First and Second Child?"
----
"Pilot Soryu, I already gave you an apology."
"That's not good enough, wondergirl," Asuka growled. "The next time Hikari invites me to a birthday party, I won't take you with me."
"I simply underestimated the effects that beverage would have on my body."
"Fine, and now we're sitting in a taxi stuck in traffic because I had to cure you from that hangover first," the red-head snarled. "The commander will be sooo pissed at us..."
----
A small shape flitted around the hallways of NERV headquarters. After following a technician secretly, she managed to enter the hangar with the Eva units.
The fruit fairy Hanako smiled as she looked up at the enormous form of Unit 01. "Well, if they really want to beat them... They simply have to fight silliness... with silliness."
She took out a small device and pointed it at Unit 01...
----
Some time later, Shinji entered the hangar, dressed in his plugsuit. "All right, I'm ready to..." Then he stopped himself.
The technicians didn't listen to him. They were all busy staring at Unit 01. Well, at the place where Unit 01 had been standing previously.
Shinji ran towards them. "What happened? Where is the Eva?"
One of the men simply raised his finger. Shinji followed the gesture... and yelped.
Describing the looks of that strange ... vehicle, if you can call it that, is not easy. It was blue, and smaller than Shinji himself, reaching only up to his belly. It was as round as a big ball, but had also short arms and legs sticking out of its sides. On it's front, a round protrusion was jutting out, looking similar to a yellow cockpit... or like a face without any sign of a nose, ears or eyes. On it's back, two little things were being attached, most likely jet engines... even if they looked nearly identical to two golden bells.
Twinbee looked around the hangar in confusion. But when it's gaze fell on Shinji, a small mouth appeared underneath the round, yellow disc on it's face... and smiled.
"Are you my pilot?" a squeaky voice asked him.
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(Posted Thu, 14 Sep 2006 09:21)
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