Daisuke raised an eyebrow towards his friend. “Um, you do know who you’re talking to, right?”
“That’s my sister, Dai. Knock it off.” Hiroshi frowned, and then resumed typing on the computer. “Thanks for the soda, Midori.”
His sister looked puzzled, then shrugged. “Sure. See ‘ya later…” She sashayed out the door, closing it behind her.
“Hey, where’s she going?”
“To change back into her normal clothes, then forget about the last five minutes of her life.”
Daisuke glared over at the screen. “Hey, you’ve been handed Phenomenal Internet Porn Powerz! Why’d you have to go undo all of that stuff?”
Because I remembered the definition of the word ‘rape’, you pervert. “Two words: Monkey’s Paw.”
“Huh?”
“Y’know, the story where the person gets three wishes, but inevitably screws ‘em up?”
“Yeah, so?”
Hiroshi grimaced, then swiveled his chair towards his erstwhile companion. “Dai, think about how many times Ranma’s got some sort of magical doodad or thingummy or whatchamacallit, and all the problems he’s had with them. Do you honestly think we can control something like this without completely and utterly screwing up someone’s life, quite possibly our own?”
“Um…”
Hiroshi stared evenly at his friend.
Daisuke continued to hum, a thoughtful expression on his face. “Nope, still pondering…”
WHAP! “The answer is NO, you nimnul!”
“Hey!” Daisuke pouted while rubbing his head for several seconds, then sighed. “Crap. You’re probably right.” He signed again, staring wistfully at the monitor. “Power and Responsibility, and all that stuff.”
“Yeah, being the mature ones sucks.”
The two sat there for a time, contemplating their own virtue, before Daisuke spoke. “So, what you gonna do, delete it off your hard drive?
Hiroshi started at his friend, incredulously. “I didn’t say THAT.” He spun back to the computer, and resumed typing, a not-quite-evil-but-still-mischievous grin on his face “Nah, I’ll just get permission, first.”
“How the heck do you plan on doing that?”
"Planning, my good fellow: planning."
After increasing his own Intelligence, (and after a quick realization, his Wisdom, Integrity, and knowledge of the Master PC interface), Hiroshi came up with the following procedure for implementing a change:
1. Determine whom you want to change, and how you’re going to accomplish it.
1a. Don’t try to change a bunch of different people: one at a time is best. This makes it easier to determine the consequences of a single change.
1b. Don’t try to make a bunch of changes. Try to summarize the change in a single, specific sentence.
1c. The change also has to be made with the good of the person in mind. While we can have fun with getting there, the end result has to be in the target’s interest. This is to avoid karma coming back to bite us in the butt.
2. Test any change you want to do on yourself first for at least three full days. This will keep us from doing anything obviously stupid.
3. Get your target’s permission to make the change. Maybe don’t tell ‘em how you plan on doing something, but be upfront about what you’re trying to accomplish. If they don’t agree, it’s OK to erase the offer from their memory. This is to protect the people doing the test.
4. Observe the consequences of the change for one week.
5. At the end of the week, change them back, but with the memories of living with the change for a week.
6. Determine what the results of the change were.
6a. You can offer to let the change be permanent, if you think that it’s best.
6b. If they don’t accept, it’s OK for you to erase knowledge of the test from their minds. Again, this is to protect the people running the experiment.
6c. If they do accept, it’s also OK to make it so either they don’t remember the original past, or else make it so they have no desire to communicate the change to anyone.
"So, what should we try first?"
“How is THAT in her best interests?”
“How can I deny her the virile masculinity that is myself?”
“You’ve been hanging around Kuno again, haven’t you.”
“What, like accepting your sucker bets?”
“Yeah, stuff like that!”
"Whatever, Dai."
“Yeah, hogging all the gorgeous women for himself!”
“Um, you realize that one of those women is a guy, and the other is engaged, right?”
“It’s the principle of the thing!”
“Um… actually, that’s a pretty good idea.”
“So she can date me!”
“Nevermind…”
"Sure, that sounds OK..."
"So we can see a little girl-girl action!"
"I knew the hentai was in there somewhere..."
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See other episodes by Kevin Michael Schultz
(Posted Sat, 23 Aug 2003 02:52)
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