“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Kakashi, falling to his knees. “How could the Gods forsake us like this!?”
“It’s just a damn book,” muttered Genma.
“But now how will I pass on my artistic endeavors to the next generation?” bellowed a crying Jiraiya, as he too was now bemoaning their fates, by Kakashi.
“What the hell is their problem?” asked Genma, turning to Iruka for an answer ... only to see the Chuunin crying as well.
“This is what I get for drinking in the afternoon,” mumbled Genma.
Across the bar, another group was conferring about the recent events.
“Well this sucks,” said Sakura, nursing her drink.
“Glad Asuma and I got together before this,” said Kurenai.
“Yeah, but that does shit for the rest of us,” mumbled Anko, slamming back another drink. “I had a hard time getting guys before they became endangered, now what chance does any of us have?”
“Huh?” said Ino.
“Think about it,” said Anko. “As far as the eye can see, ain’t a single guy outside of our village. So unless some far away land is stuffed with nothing but straight guys, it means we have some serious competition to get a guy from this village interested in any relationship outside of meaningless sex ... not that it isn’t fun on occasion, but hell, even I would like to be held gently some days.”
“I’d be surprised if we aren’t kept busy with more missions,” said Shizune, deciding to act like her mentor for a bit. “I mean, we can’t risk sending guys out. They’ll be targets.”
“Very true,” said Kurenai. “Not that they’ll put up much of a fight. I doubt have the villages out there have the equipment for the guys to simply ‘go in a cup’, and like Anko said, sometimes they want the real thing.”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
The girls slowly turned to focus on the small group of guys that were now crying.
“Then again, some males should never be allowed to reproduce.”
“Man, this is way too troublesome,” muttered Shikamaru.
“At least your mom isn’t talking about Stud Programs with the Hokage,” sighed Kiba.
“Why is Chouji crying?” asked Shino.
“Turns out the same guy who delivers a lot of the snacks and stuff died, as well as a lot of the local delivery drivers,” said Kiba, shaking his head at the big-boned ninja’s predicament. “So until they hire enough female drivers, there won’t be a lot of non-essentials in the village.”
“I see,” said Shino.
“What are you so happy about, Neji?” asked Shikamaru.
The Hyuuga ninja smirked. “Well, remember Sasuke’s main goals were to kill his brother and restart his clan?”
“Yeah?”
“Well, now that his brother is dead by an accident, he can’t take his revenge,” smirked Neji. “And on top of that, he’s still being talked to by the ANBU about whatever that moron Danzou had been planning.”
“So?”
“So it means when he gets out...”
“I don’t get it,” said Chouji, looking over an empty bag of chips like it was a dead pet.
“He’ll be in for some troublesome times with women,” answered Shikamaru, wishing once again he was a cloud. They didn’t have to worry about crazy kunoichi demanding to know where they stood, or mothers demanding to prepare a list of names for grandchildren.
“Well what about you, Neji?” asked Shikamaru.
The Hyuuga smirked. “Well, the Hyuuga Council is in an uproar about this, and I think it means they’ll be kissing the ass of the Branch Family for a while.”
“Why?”
“Very few males are left in the Main Family, other than Hiashi-sama, who still has ... the ability to procreate.”
“It falls off when you get older?” asked Chouji.
“Nah, it just gets too troublesome.”
“Anyway,” said Neji. “They’ll see it as a chance to expand the Hyuuga power base. And if so, they’ll need more viable males, which means they’ll have to make certain offers to Branch Family members.”
“What about Hinata?” asked Kiba.
Neji shrugged. “Looks like Hiashi-sama will be trying to find her and Hanabi-sama a husband quickly, before the pool of available males is zero.”
“Has anyone seen Naruto?” asked Chouji.
The others blinked, all knowing about Hinata’s little crush on the Kyuubi container.
“You don’t think...” said Kiba.
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(Posted Sun, 04 Mar 2007 21:13)
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