Well, to say that Ryouga was surprised was to say that water was wet. Speaking of which, he noticed that he was wet. So he swam to the side of the pool he had landed in. When he reached up to pull himself out of the water, he suddenly noticed something different. He didn't have fingers. Or hands. He had flippers?
"Dood! What the Hell happened, dood?" Then he was even more confused. "Why can't I stop saying 'dood'?"
It was several moments after that time that the Guide had noticed a talking penguin-thing treading water in one of the pools.
"Honored customer fall into Spring of Drowned Talking, Exploding Penguin-Thing! Story is very tragic! Penguin-Thing drown in spring three years ago! Crazy man, bikini woman, and weird robot throw Penguin-Thing in spring before Guide could stop. Penguin-Thing explode on way to pool. Now all who fall in spring turn into Penguin-Thing."
Ranma was sure that the "Penguin-Thing" had a name. While still up on the cliff overlooking Jusenkyou, he pulled out a manga. It's title read "Disgaea". Ranma thumbed through it. Just as he thought: it had a name. He put the manga back into nowhere.
"So, what you're saying, dood, is that I'm cursed?"
"Guide very sorry. But hot water change back to human. Cold water change back to Penguin-Thing."
Ranma jumped and landed next to the Guide.
"DOOD! That's the... bunny dood that did this to me!"
Ranma pulled a tea kettle out of nowhere and changed into his more "normal" form.
"Ranma?"
"That's right."
"Dood! Why did you do this to me, dood?"
"Hey, you attacked me while I was in my Rabbid form first. I simply retaliated."
"Rabbid?" This question was asked by both the Guide and Ryouga.
"It's what it's called."
"Why do you still have bunny ears, dood? And did you dye your hair?"
"No I didn't dye it. Both the hair color and the ears were caused by me in my Rabbid form."
"Dood, why?"
"Because Rabbids are insane. And what you happen to be is called a Prinny. Talking, exlploding, peg-legged penguin demons."
"Dood, I'm a demon?"
"Could've been worse. You could've landed in the Spring of Drowned Piglet."
"What would be so bad about that, dood?"
"We're in China. The Chinese love pork." At this, the Guide nodded.
"Oh... Well, then I like this much better dood!"
"Let me help you out of the pool."
At that moment, as Ranma reached to grab Ryouga's new flipper, Ranma had three more ideas to Will. He decided to make it so that he could read Chinese, and fluently speak Mandarin. His second idea was to give Ryouga the same abilities. His final idea was to make Shampoo able to read and fluently speak Japanese.
FLASH! FLASH! FLASH!
Ryouga was confused again. He saw three flashes... but why?
PING! [0:04:36]
Even more confused, Ryouga wondered why a countdown timer appeared, showing about four and a half minutes.
Ranma had no idea what else to Will. He didn't know if he forgot anything... Suddenly, he had one last idea. It was an idea that he'd soon forget, but later regret. Well, he'd regret it for about a day or so.
FLASH!
Ryouga wondered if he was just hallucinating. Then he wondered if demons were capable of hallucinating.
What Ranma had Willed in a short fit of insanity was that every civilization in the universe had one particular law in common; said law was stated differently and had different restrictions, but basically it was summed up as thus: "If any being happened to be male, part rabbit (or even mutated rabbit), and part Earthling human, said being may practice polygamy as long as his wife, or wives, agreed with every new wife."
What will be ironic is that the various Kami of the universe will approve of it and won't change it after the fact.
:::
Thirty minutes later, Ryouga was angry at Genma for stealing the fish off of his plate. He chased the idiot panda around the Guide's house and through some of the surrounding bamboo thickets. Genma was surprised. If this truly was Ryouga who was chasing him, why was it that he couldn't lose the Eternal Lost Boy? He did hide in some tall grass and tried to get Ryouga all turned around and such.
Ranma was also surprised to see Ryouga come back from chasing Genma. He came dragging the panda (who had a very large bump on his head) back towards the hut.
"Hey, Ryouga!"
"Yeah, dood?"
"You didn't get lost!"
"No?" He then realized something. "DOOD! That means Prinnies can't get lost!"
"Are you still angry at being turned into a Prinny?"
"No way, dood!"
:::
About a day later, the Guide finally decided to take the three newly cursed people to the Amazons, as required by the tribe closest to Jusenkyou.
Genma was in human form, Ranma in humanoid form, and Ryouga in Prinny form. Only three peole in this traveling group of four were conscious though. Genma was hog-tied and slung over Ranma's shoulder.
When they got to the village, Ranma observed a familiar scene. Shampoo and some other woman of the village were on a dueling log. Over to the right was the feast for the winner of the tournament.
"Ryouga."
"Yeah, dood?"
"Don't eat the food unless we're given permission by these women."
"Okay, dood."
Ranma set Genma down. They began watching the fight. Except for Genma. Once the breeze blew the smell of the food into his nose, he jolted to full awareness. He tried to make for the food, but Ranma grabbed the collar of his gi.
Genma waited a few minutes before making a second attempt. This time, Ranma didn't notice. But when Ranma did notice about thirty seconds later, Genma was already half-way done eating his eleventh plate.
"POPS! YOU IDIOT!"
:::
Ranma's shout distracted Shampoo's opponent long enough for Shampoo to drive her into the ground. Through the log. The Amazons began to cheer... then they began to gape. Shampoo wondered what was going on, but then she turned towards the banquet table, and she became as slack-jawed as the rest of her tribe. At the table, a fat man was eating her food. That was infuriating. He was eating it while still hog-tied. That was amazing.
Shampoo then pointed her bonbori at the fat man, and challenged him. Well, Genma didn't understand Mandarin, so he ignored the noise. Then the cutest boy she had ever seen stepped into view and put himself between her and the fat idiot. He looked so attractive with his bunny ears and pink hair!
She wasn't the only female Amazon to think so either.
:::
Ranma knew that Genma would eventually win a fight against Shampoo, especially if he unsealed his Umisenken or his Yamasenken. Then she'd have to marry him. Although Ranma didn't like the idea of being engaged to Shampoo (again!), having her be engaged to Genma was a fate worse than death to Ranma's mind, and he didn't actually hate Shampoo.
So, he moved himself between his idiot father and Shampoo. Then he spoke in Mandarin: "I will fight in his place."
She smiled at this.
:::
Ryouga was angry at Genma, but he wondered why Ranma was fighting the girl in his place. He also wondered why he understood what they were all saying. He didn't know Chinese. Did he?
:::
Then, Ranma won the fight. When Shampoo tried to give him the Kiss of Marriage, Ranma put a trashcan lid in the way.
"Does this mean that by Amazon law you have to marry this trashcan lid?"
More than half the village was angered by this sarcastic question. Ranma decided it was time to leave. He threw the lid at Genma, knocking him unconscious. Then he pulled a huge barrel (with sounds of various primates coming out of it) out of nowhere, threw Genma inside, then put a lid on the barrel. He then tipped it on it's side, jumped onto it, and started running, sending the barrel downhill away from the village. Ryouga was smart enough to jump onto Ranma's head.
The Guide was too shocked to do much of anything, and the Amazons pretty much ignored him anyway.
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(Posted Mon, 19 Feb 2007 17:39)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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