It was the week before the school year began again. It was also raining. Soun was happy that his friend from the old days would finally be arriving, but he was confused about the mail he had received. The first was a Chinese postcard which didn't actually suprise him. It said:
"Tendo: I am bringing my son, Ranma, to your place from China. Expecting some delays. Saotome"
The second was a letter that arrived on the same day as the postcard, about four weeks ago. It was more elaborate:
"Tendo-san,
"I am Ranma. My idiot father has caused certain weird things to happen to us, so expect some surprises, to say the least. Also, because of something really stupid that he did, I now address him by his given name, Genma. Also, we're brining along my childhood friend, Hibiki Ryouga. As for the 'delays' Genma referred to, we need one more month of training as we found a new discipline of martial arts. Well, sort of. We'll definitely arrive before school starts.
"Saotome Ranma"
What confused Soun was the fact that both Genma and Ranma had each sent a letter. And why was "delays" in quotation marks in Ranma's letter?
:::
Somewhere else in the Nerima District...
A panda, a bunny, and a penguin were seen walking in the street. For their own safety, the police have told Animal Control to stop attempting to capture the "escaped zoo animals". About eight teams of Animal Control either lay sprawled in the street, or declared that they would resign their positions after they were released from the Urgent Care Center at the local hospital. Additionally, there were several craters and an exploded van littering the street.
The panda looked normal enough. The bunny was uglier than Hell. The penguin had a leopard-spot bandana, a stomach satchel, and peg legs. The panda was glaring at the bunny. Suddenly, the panda ripped a stopsign out of the pavement and hit the bunny. The ugly lagomorph didn't even flinch. Most pedestrians in the street did.
The bunny slowly turned towards the panda. Then the penguin spoke.
"Bad idea, dood. You forgot that you can't actually hurt him, huh dood?"
The panda's eyes went wide. It dropped the sign and bolted. The bunny gave a yell that sounded like twenty drunken Irish bouncers trying to sing the song "One-Winged Angel"; in other words, incoherent, loud, and obnoxious. Then the bunny gave chase and the penguin followed.
Most pedestrians agreed: they would have preferred to have seen a red-headed girl and a panda fighting eachother through the street rather than what had just transpired.
:::
Soun had finally broken the news to his daughters. Kasumi was a little annoyed. Nabiki was stern. Akane was barely restraining herself from bashing her father's skull down in between his shoulder-blades.
Suddenly, they heard the sound of thunder, really close to their house. But there was no flash. At all. Odd.
Then they heard the door to their home open and close. They looked down the hall towards the front door. They saw a drenched bunny carrying a slightly-blackened-yet-still-wet, sweet-smelling panda and a wet penguin.
Kasumi broke the silence. "Oh, is the circus in town?"
Everyone else face-faulted. Even the still unconsious panda.
The bunny got up, and pulled a teakettle out of nowhere, and poured it on itself. The bunny was replaced by a boy with pink hair and bunny ears. Kasumi thought he was cute. Nabiki thought he was hot. Akane instantly labeled him as a pervert (go figure).
Then the boy spoke. "I'm Saotome Ranma." Most others in the room expected him to say something else. Anything else. But, to their surprise (and the surprise of every Kami, Angel, and Demon who was watching, except Ryouga), he didn't.
Then he continued: "That penguin is Hibiki Ryouga. The panda is, regretably, my father, Genma." Then he put away his current teakettle, and pulled out a fresh one, and changed his father back.
Soun then asked: "How... ?"
Ranma chose that opportunity to interrupt. "One word: Jusenkyou."
:::
About thirty minutes later...
Kasumi had just made a large lunch for the three new arrivals. They had seen the transformations of all three guests. And they learned that Ryouga preferred to stay in his Prinny form.
Kasumi still didn't exactly care to be engaged to Ranma. She secretly liked Dr. Tofu anyway.
Nabiki was being quiet and observant. She didn't know how smart Ranma might be. Plus, this might be the only chance that she, the Ice Queen, might ever get to have a boyfriend (without blackmailing him into being one).
Akane was vehemently opposed to even breathing the same air as the Rabbidman. This was starting to grate on Ranma's nerves. She declared him a pervert even faster than originally! And he hadn't even been to the furo yet!
"Father! You don't understand!"
"Now now, Akane! It is for the uniting of the Two Schools!"
Genma added his two cents. "Besides, Ranma would love to m-"
WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM WHAM! WHAM WHAM!! And then Ranma put away the 2x4.
"See, Father!? He's just a violent pervert, no better than Kuno!!"
Nabiki noticed that Ranma twitched. She also noticed that Ryouga had just silently ran out of the room. She decided to prevent her sister from getting a concussion. What she said next surprised everyone in the room, including herself.
"Father, may I be Ranma's fiancée?"
She figured that she could always blackmail herself out of the engagement later, if she decided to. Also, when she said that, Genma snapped back to reality from La-La Land.
"Umm... Certainly, Nabiki." Said Soun.
"A perfect match!" Agreed Genma. Then Genma had a plunger stuck to his face, covering the entirety of it. Ranma was on the other end of the plunger.
"I'll at least try it." Then Ranma noticed something. "Ryouga, you can come back in now!"
"Okay, dood. I simply thought it might get a little ugly."
Ranma smirked. "No uglier than Akane, that's for sure!"
Nabiki rolled her eyes. Kasumi gasped. Soun ducked out of the way. Akane picked up the table and hit Ranma in the head with it. No reaction. Well, from Ranma anyway. Nabiki was quickly calculating what a new table would cost.
Ranma pulled a toothpick out of nowhere, and raised it above his head in what appeared to be a two-handed sword blow. Akane thought he was insane if he thought that a TOOTHPICK would hurt her. She was only half right. Ranma indeed was insane. Somehow, when he hit her on the head with the toothpick, she was driven through the floorboards and into the ground like a railspike.
"Sorry, I tend to hit back. Hard."
"Ain't it the truth, dood?"
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(Posted Thu, 22 Feb 2007 02:56)
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