Shampoo felt somewhat confused upon awakening, mostly due to the sudden turn for the weird that the collective lucid dream had taken in its last few minutes. After the Flowery Egomaniac (whom she now knew to also be the real Perverted Girl, rather than Akane) had woken up Ukyo, there had been a round of stern rebukes, the sternest of which came from Akane, who delivered hers in the form of her trademark hammer. The Amazon took this as a demonstration of extreme frustration, as it was rare that Akane used said hammer on a girl (except for Ranma-chan, but she didn’t really count since she was actually a “he”).
It was soon after this that her Airen had stated that he was going to wake up to check on the chef, so she bade him a temporary goodbye… and he didn’t do anything. Then he suddenly swept her off her feet, speaking in the smooth, refined Mandarin that he normally spoke in her dreams, which made no sense, as she’d by now accepted that Ranma’s mental process wasn’t really capable of any sort of refined speech pattern (at least, not without a lot of concentration on his part). It was only when she saw Akane become assimilated by her own cooking in a disturbingly Akira-esque fashion did she realize that she was no longer sharing her dream with anyone; as far as she knew, the Kitchen Destroyer didn’t think her cooking was that bad. This made sense, sort of: Ranma was like the hub of a wheel, and they were the spokes without Ranma, there was nothing to connect his suitors. It also explained why Ranma hadn’t poofed away like Ukyo; he had just been replaced by her regular Dream-Ranma.
But Shampoo wasn’t particularly interested in Dream-Ranma at the moment; not after she’d just spent so much time sharing a dream with her true Airen. But as long as she continued to sleep while he was awake, it appeared she’d be cut off from him. Thus, Shampoo chose to make a conscious effort to wake up. When she did, the stream of information from her husband came flooding back into her mind, leaving her feeling somewhat disoriented.
—ld man thinks that old trick’s still gonna work, does he? Well, I’ll show him!
Airen? Is something wrong?
What? Gya! Yipes, that was close. Uh, mornin’, Shampoo. Uh, I’m kinda busy trainin’ right now….
Shampoo sighed in relief. Of course, Airen would be training, wouldn’t he? Sorry to interrupt you.
No prob’.
The Amazon clambered out of bed, intent on heading towards the bathroom. Halfway there, she spotted Cologne. “Good morning, Great-grandmother.”
The reply was uncharacteristically morose: “If it is a good morning, which I doubt.”
“Great-grandmother not sleep well last not?”
“More like ‘not sleep at all,’” the Matriarch explained.
“Why not?”
“Because of your situation, of course.”
“What Great-grandmother mean?” Shampoo asked, somewhat confused. While it wasn’t surprising that she would be concerned about the situation, it hardly seemed like something to lose sleep over, as it didn’t seem to be endangering anyone.
“Let’s just say there’s a slight complication that had to be taken care of.”
“Oh. Did Great-grandmother find solution?”
“In a manner of speaking — at least, a temporary one. By the way, I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For this.” Cologne suddenly hit a series of pressure points on her great-granddaughter after which she immediately hopped onto her shoulders and proceeded to expertly apply the Formula #411 Amazon Memory-Wiping Shampoo™ (Pat. Pending) to Shampoo’s skull.
The Xi Fa Xiang Gao shiatsu technique is not the type of technique that could go unnoticed over a psychic link, especially one as strong as that which existed between Shampoo and her beloved, which meant that the aforementioned beloved reacted in a rather obvious way: by shouting “What the hell?!” and allowing his coordination to be thrown off slightly. Unfortunately, when one is sparring with a martial artist of Genma Saotome’s caliber, “slightly” is more than enough to turn the tide of a fight.
“You should pay attention to the fight, boy!”
“Wha—” Ranma didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence, as he turned his head right into his father’s rather effective left hook, sending him flying towards the Tendo koi pond.
Ranchan! Are you okay?
Ugh… I’m fine Ucchan — just a little wet an’ female at the moment.
But that outburst…
It’s Shampoo. Somethin’ weird’s goin’ on in her head… an’ whatever it is, it definitely ain’t normal. Look, could ya do me a favor an’ check up on her? I can’t come up with a good excuse ta do it myself, least not without lettin’ Pops and the Tendos know about the links, an’ that’d just delay me more.
Sure, Ranchan… I’ll head over to the Nekohanten as soon as I can.
Thanks.
Ukyo was true to her word; sure, her relationship with the Amazon was often antagonistic, but now that these links had been established, anything happening to Shampoo’s mind could have an effect on Ranma (which in turn could have an effect on her). Besides, the lavender-haired teenager wasn’t that bad, when she wasn’t trying to assert her status as Ranma’s “wife,” at least. Thus it was that Ukyo dressed, ate a quick breakfast, and headed over to establishment of her competitor in both love and business.
After bursting into the Nekohanten with such force that it left Mousse momentarily stunned, Ukyo called out, “Shampoo? Where are you?!”
“She’s right here, dear.”
Ukyo spun around to see Cologne balancing on her staff next to Shampoo, who had a somewhat perplexed look on her face. Ukyo supposed that made sense, but considering the intensity of Ranma’s request, she had expected Shampoo to be displaying emotions stronger than mild confusion. “What… what’s going on? I came here because Ranma told me that something weird was happening….”
The Matriarch smiled. “Yes, I supposed it would be ‘weird’ to an outside observer, wouldn’t it?”
“Excuse me?”
“You needn’t worry… I’ve simply taken a minor precaution to make sure that no complications are created by the ins and outs of Amazon law, which, as you know, we tend to enforce quite strictly.”
“A minor… precaution?”
“Yes… it’s only temporary, I assure you. I’d probably be removed from my position as Matriarch if it was permanent.”
“You didn’t hurt her—”
“Goodness, no. When I said I could be removed from my position, I meant that this could be used as proof of senility if I tried to make it permanent.”
“What the heck are you talking about?” Mousse suddenly intruded.
“Nothing that concerns you, Mister Part-time. Now get back to the kitchen and finish getting ready… and put your glasses on!” Cologne sighed to herself as the bespectacled master of Hidden Weapons walked away warily. She started to give an explanation, but Ukyo was rather distracted by a sudden mental outburst from Ranma.
“She did what?!”
Cologne paused briefly before continuing. “I’m going to assume that those winces were the result of Ranma learning what happened from my great-granddaughter. I expected as much… after all, he didn’t particularly like it when the Xi Fa Xiang Gao was used on Akane, either.”
“Xi Fa Xiang Gao?”
“Ah, yes, you hadn’t arrived in Nerima yet—”
“You don’t need to go into a lengthy description; I already know what it does. You actually erased Shampoo’s memory?”
“I haven’t erased it, I’ve simply blocked certain sensitive facts from her access until a more permanent solution can be found.”
“Huh?”
“Just make sure to come back here once Furinkan lets out — I’ll be able to explain everything then.”
“Oh, okay….” She glanced over at Shampoo, who still hadn’t said anything; though she could tell from her access to Ranma’s stream of consciousness that the most likely reason for that was that Shampoo was trying to explain things to him, it was still rather off-putting to see her like that. “I guess I’ll see you this afternoon, then.”
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(Posted Mon, 26 Mar 2007 06:36)
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