“Stop being such a baby, Ash,” Professor Oak commanded. “What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe being eaten by the spirit animal I’m supposed to bond with, or being copied so well even I can’t tell the difference. Something like that?”
“The odd of that happening are a million to one, drat it,” the Professor pointed out.
“Besides, if the old coot wanted to duplicate anyone,” Brock observed, “it would be Nurse Nanako.”
“Exactly!” the Professor agreed. “Ahehee, no, I mean: I’d never consider conducting cloning experiments on my assistant, or anything. That’s beside the point. You’re perfectly safe, Ash.”
“No, I’m perfectly sane,” Ranma countered. “You can’t make me get in that death trap.”
“You’re right about that,” the Professor agreed and rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
“Oh, no! I’m not stupid, I’m not expendable, and I’m not go— Eh? What did you just say?”
“I said, ‘you’re right about that,’ Ash,” the Professor repeated. “There’s no way an old man like me could force a healthy young boy like you into that chamber.”
“Well, there you are then,” Ranma stated firmly.
“That’s what robotic tentacles are for.”
“Exac–” Ranma nodded, “–tly.… Wait, wha…?”
“Whoopha!” lashed the robotic tentacles as the dropped from the ceiling, entangled Ranma and stunned him with a “buzz-ap”, then with a “ka-chicka!” whipped him into the vault.
Ranma skidded to a halt, picked himself off the floor, and charged the armor plated door. It slammed closed before he got half way. Reinforced bars moving into place over the chamber’s doors just added insult to injured pride.
Cursing his sluggish body. Ranma folded his stumpy arms and glared at the hidden camera, or at least where he thought it might be.
“Professor, that was cool,” Brock’s voice admired. “You”re a genius!”
“I know, I know!”
“I am NOT filled with confidence,” Ranma stated as a hiss told him that the tube was lowering from the ceiling. Ranma turned warily and eyed the goo puddling on the floor as the tube lifted away.
In the center of the mess, the creature aroused itself and looked around.
“Remember, Ash,” the Professor’s voice reminded Ranma, “you must establish a report with this spirit animal, gain its respect and trust, then assimilate it before it absorbs your life force leaving you a drained brain dead zombified husk. But, er, don’t worry, that hardly ever happens and anyway you signed the indemnity disclaimer.”
“Seriously,” Ranma grumbled as he backed away from the monster in the pit, “how did you get this job?”
The monster sniffed disdainfully, and began to clean the gunk off itself. Ranma shuddered as his back reached the wall. The monster ignored him. Ranma whimpered.
“Ash, what is your problem?” the Professor’s voice demanded. “Assimilate the spirit animal already so Brock can have his turn and we can go spy on Nanako… I mean: spy on Nanako… No, I mean: spy on Nanako… Ahem! —Study Misty’s Duplication Shikigami, already!”
“CCCats!” Ranma stuttered, “why does it always have to be cats?”
“It’s just a cub,” Brock’s voice objected. “Seriously, Ash, you’re such a wimp.”
The cub finished cleaning its fur. It licked its lips and looked around the chamber curiously. Ranma started running up the walls.
He ran up as far as his little legs would allow then, when he fell back, started running in circles, screaming and shouting.
The cub, about to settle down into a nap, looked up sharply at the rapidly moving object crossing its field of vision. It let out an excited “mow”, then bounded after with kittenish energy.
“Excellent tactic, Ash!” the Professor’s voice encouraged. “Earning its respect through play and tiring it out until it agrees to bond with you. Huzzar! You’re a genius!”
“He’s sure something, alright,” Brock’s voice agreed.
“Your plan does have a slight flaw, though, Ash,” the Professor’s voice added thoughtfully. “Now that I think about it, if you wear yourself out, you may not have enough energy to survive the bonding process. Ash? You’re not listening! Oh well. We must all make sacrifices for the sake of science.”
“Yes,” Brock added, “but do we have to be the sacrifices?”
Ranma ran in circles. The cub bounded playfully.
Ranma doddged to the left. The critter pounced to the right.
Ranma pounded the walls. The thing dashed over to look and see.
Ranma screamed like a little girly girl. The beast chirpuped happily.
Ranma turned tail and fled. The creature tumbled, tucked and rolled between his legs.
Ranma stumbled, stood up, fell down. The little bitty kitty pounced.
Ranma yelled and waved his arms a lot. The thing purred happily and rubbed against him.
“Excellent, Ash,” the Professor congradulated. “It’s marking its territory with scent. Now go ahead and absorb it so we can get on with more important things.”
“Honestly, Ash,” Brock’s voice demanded. ”It”s a sickeningly cute fuzzy animal, but what are you so worked up about?”
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(Posted Fri, 01 Jun 2007 11:16)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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