“Well,” glared Misato, trying her best to be the disapproving parental figure. But considering that the three children before her—one of which was out cold and clinging to the back of the Third Child like a baby koala—where barely focused on her, it wasn’t going over well. Truthfully, she was surprised they were even alive, considering they had emptied a 750ml bottle of 191-proof liquor, and taken a strong swig of the second one.
“I want a puppy.”
Everyone there, including Dr. Akagi, could only blink at the demure First Child’s response.
“Excuse me?” asked Ritsuko.
“I want a puppy,” said Rei, nodding her head slowly, holding the remaining semi-filled bottle of Everclear with her one good arm, the bandages seeming to be a bit looser now on the rest of her recovering body.
“Better than a furry little mouse chaser,” grumbled Ranma, swaying slightly, but never toppling over.
“Why are you drinking that stuff?” yelled Misato.
“Cause you ain’t got a television, radio, or anything else ta do there,” said Ranma as if it was completely obvious. “What else am I supposed ta do for fun?”
“You think drinking like this is fun?” she asked in shock.
“Not at first,” he said, scratching his chin. “But after a while, I finally started to see why you all do this,” he mused. “Besides, it made Rei cute.”
The First Child smiled at the compliment, before raising the bottle up. “I agree with the Third Child’s assessment,” she said, before taking a swig. “But I shall not give him the bottle.”
“Come on!” whined Ranma.
“Enough of this!” yelled Fuyutsuki. “We have an incoming Angel! The world is at risk because you wanted to drink!” he yelled.
“Calm down,” said Ranma, making shushing notions. “Getting upset like that can’t be good for you. Besides, what did you expect; telling a kid he’s the best hope for humanity? I mean seriously, what kind of idiot makes a super weapon that relies on a kid, and then sends them to school instead of training them ta fight. Now I...,” he paused, looking at the screen behind the group. “Is that some flying sex toy?”
A few of the on-duty staff stifled their chuckles at the child’s assessment of the newest threat.
“If we didn’t need you at the moment, I would have you sent to the brig,” growled Fuyutsuki.
“Does that mean I have a paycheck?” asked Ranma. “I mean, brig is like a military prison, and that would sort of mean I’m military. If so, I wanna see what you pay the grunts. I could use a TV or something.”
“I want a unicorn as well,” said Rei, her mind trying to recall what gifts girls always requested from their parents. After all, just because she didn’t socialize didn’t mean she didn’t listen in.
“Get him to his EVA!” yelled the Sub-Commander, as he turned away.
“We’re sending a drunken pilot out!” gasped Makoto.
“Well, if you were going out to fight a giant sex toy with tentacles, wouldn’t you’d rather be three sheets to the wind?” asked Shigeru. “Got to admit though, the kid’s a riot. Makes you wonder what he’ll do before fighting the next one.”
Ritsuko stormed in, waving an empty bottle around with her hands, yelling at Misato. Hikari had been sent to the infirmary to ‘sleep it off’ as it was. The First Child followed them into the Command Bridge, occasionally taking swigs from the remaining bottle. They had tried to remove it from her.
Sadly for that agent, Rei was not a forgiving drunk. But it was expected his hand had suffered no nerve damage when she had nearly crushed it. Safe to say, no other Agent was willing to separate the child from her new bottle.
“Rei?” blinked Gendo, looking down from his seat.
“I am currently studying fun,” she said with a smile, raising the bottle up once again in mock salute, before downing it. “I will discuss my findings at a later time. For now, I wish to see the Third Child battle what he called a ‘floating nightmare for school girls’.”
Gendo could only remove his glasses and pinch his nose. Someone would pay for this; oh he was certain of that. He could only hope what little of Yui that was inside Rei could handle the alcohol a bit better than she ever had.
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(Posted Wed, 02 Jan 2008 18:04)
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