Shinji Ikari, he who rejected godhood, lay on one of the few spots on Earth not awash in LCL. His thoughts were few in number, as thinking about anything invariably led him back to the current situation. So, Shinji was in an almost meditative fugue state when Penn-Penn appeared by him.
The planeswalking penguin appeared as Shinji had known his analogue in this world, not wanting to shock the poor boy any more than necessary. It was this reason that Penn-Penn gently shook Shinji in an attempt to get his attention. When such light stimulus proved ineffectual, Penn-Penn performed an action many watchers of Neon Genesis Evangelion longed to do themselves: He bitchslapped Shinji.
“Ow! Wait…what the?” Shinji examined his surroundings. Sea of liquid humanity: Check. Crucified Evas: Check. Comatose Asuka: Check. Penn-Penn looking like he’s getting ready to slap me again: Wait, what? “Penn-Penn?” To say Shinji was astonished, confused, or even befuddled would be a waste of a perfectly good opportunity to use the word “discombobulated.”
Penn-Penn attempted to recombobulate the Third Child, though the manner in which he would do so would prove somewhat counterintuitive in that respect. The hot springs penguin began to speak in a mellifluous baritone reminiscent of George Takei. “Indeed. Though, not the Penn-Penn you knew, Shinji.”
Shinji had, by this time, gone through shock into tranquility, back again, and was now on his third lap. “The Penn-Penn I knew only said ‘Wark,’” he observed.
“True,” replied the penguin. “Most of my first language’s phonemes come out as such to human ears. However, I did not come to discuss the intricacies of penguin semantics. I came to save you and Asuka.”
Shinji glanced at the comatose girl he’d attempted to throttle earlier. “How?”
“I am not your garden-variety penguin,” said Penn-Penn.
“That much I gathered…”
“I am very near to that which your father aspired, that office you briefly held. I am a planeswalker.”
Shinji was cautious. The initial shock was wearing off, and he had a strong feeling that this was too good to be true. “Is that anything like an Angel?”
“Not in the least,” Penn-Penn assured. “Not only am I more powerful, I am here to help you Asuka, not kill you.”
“You can help Asuka? Bring her out of a coma?”
“With a bit of effort and some cooperation from her end, yes.”
“What about everyone else?”
Penn-Penn grimaced. He’d been afraid the boy would bring that up. “With their AT Fields disrupted, their souls are as mixed as their bodies. I cannot separate billions of essences indistinguishably dissolved in one another. I am sorry, Shinji, but even I have limits.”
“I see…” Shinji’s expression became somewhat more depressed than his default. “Well, what do you intend to do with Asuka and me?”
“This world is, quite frankly, a write-off,” Penn-Penn said with an air of experience in such matters. “I will be taking you two to another plane, another universe, where you can get a second chance at life, free from the machinations of your elders.”
“Where?”
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(Posted Sat, 20 Oct 2007 22:29)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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