”Open your mouth,” Kassy urged her newfound boyfriend, tossing a French fry into his mouth as soon as he had complied.
“This is really great, Kassy. You were right; this ‘fast food’ is not half bad. Awfully greasy, though.”
“It that bothers you, don’t travel to the United States. It’s our national food you could say. Most of us eat that stuff daily. But I like it, and it’s not like I would need to diet. Don’t you agree?”
Ranma looked lecherously at the stunning furry in front of him before answering, “You’re absolutely right! You’re perfect just the way you are. I hope you’ll never change.”
“Good answer, stud. Especially since I know that you really mean it and don’t just say it to get into my panties. Well, too late for that anyway since you’ve already been there. Back home, none of the boys I had a crush on could accept me in this form. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me in my life and also the main reason I don’t regret coming here.”
Ranma was perplexed and decided to get to the bottom of that statement. He had thought that Kassy had been enjoying her stay in Japan. Although he knew that he wasn’t necessarily the most perceptive person when it came to feelings, he could kick himself for not noticing his girlfriend’s distress. “What do you mean? Don’t you like Japan?”
“Don’t get me wrong, Ranma. I don’t dislike Japan at all, but things haven’t been going all that well for me so far. You must have noticed. Take Kuno for example. That nut job really doesn’t know when to quit. First, the xenophobic idiot humiliates and insults me, and then he tries to woo me. Then there’s Nabiki. That damn opportunistic snake fleeced me for all I had and even has the gall to take photographs of me without asking me first. Not to forget that stupid bandanna wearing berserker who attacked me without reason. He should really go and see a shrink and get his temper fixed.”
Ranma gulped when he heard that and hoped that Nabiki wouldn’t sell the photographs in question, lest he’d have to do something drastic. After all, the Tendos might have a place in his heart, but if it ever came to him choosing between them and his love, he wouldn’t hesitate one instant. As for Ryoga, well Kassy doesn’t know that he was the pig she chased out of her room, so it can be understandable that he might be ticked off, but then, it was inexcusable for him to try and beat up a non combatant.
Kassy was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and if he should find a way to honorably get out of all the engagements, he’d do everything in his power to stay together with her. But Kassy wasn’t finished and Ranma flinched once more when his girlfriend started ranting about Ucch---Ukyo.
“And then there’s that vindictive crossdresser. Ever since she saw me, and even before you and I got together, she had it in for me. Humiliating and attacking me whenever she has the possibility. And she isn’t even honorable enough to do it herself. No, she has the gall to enlist the help of the other girls. I just hope my training will pay off and I’ll be ready to deal some payback during the game.”
As the half-Salusian’s rant had come to an end, Ranma deemed it safe to try and calm her down. “I agree with you. Kuno will never learn. You can beat him up as much as you want, but he’ll come right back for more. Sometimes I wonder if he might be a masochist. But then, his whole family has issues. And Nabiki is a mercenary through and through. You should really look out for her underhanded tactics. She’s gone as far as to sell pictures of Akane and my girl side to Kuno and other boys at school.” Ranma clasped his hands over his mouth, but immediately realized that it was too late as he could see Kassy’s eyes narrow. ‘Damn my loose tongue,’ he thought. He hoped that the girl wouldn’t do anything rash, though. There’s no proof that Nabiki has sold the pictures. Yeah, right. Even Ranma didn’t believe that for one minute. He decided to divert Kassy’s mind from the mercenary bitch by talking about Ukyo. “Ukyo was my best friend when we were little and I’ve always thought she was a boy. You can imagine my surprise when she came to Nerima and I found she had been a girl all along, and a new fiancée to boot. I’ve never held that kind of love for her, but she simply won’t accept it. She…” The pigtailed boy suddenly stopped talking, startling his girlfriend in the process. She looked at him and saw him concentrating hard on something, but she had no idea what it was.
“What’s the problem?” She asked in a concerned tone.
Ranma immediately turned back to her and asked, “Didn’t you hear that?”
“Hear what?”
Ranma blinked… twice as he saw that she had obviously no idea what he was talking about. “Oh well, if you didn’t hear anything it probably was nothing. It’s still curious, though. I could have sworn I’d heard ‘The Ride of the Valkyries’. Ah well, must have been my imagination.” Famous last words as they say.
Having finished the food, they put the trays and bags on the table and lay back down, caressing each other. This was turning Ranma on once again and his little warrior was rising up once again for some more action. Kassy hungrily eyed the bulge forming in the martial artist’s pants and licked her lips in anticipation. She couldn’t wait to get that delicious piece of meat back into her hands and some other places. Ranma noticed the hungry look on the girl’s face and couldn’t hide a smirk. But out of common courtesy he asked her for permissions anyways. “Now that we’ve replenished our reserves, are you ready for another round? I think little Ranma is ready once again.”
Kassy shot her boyfriend a lecherous grin. “I thought you’d never ask. But after all you’ve done for me, and as I now have proof that you’ve accepted both of my forms, it wouldn’t be fair not to return the favor and show you that I don’t mind your curse at all. And I have to admit that I’ve been curious for a long time as to how sex with a woman would be like. So let me worship your female body just like you worshipped mine earlier on and prove to you once and for all that I too accept you unconditionally, in both of your forms. I want to make love to your female side.”
Ranma’s jaw dropped to the floor. He had never thought that a girl would ever ask him to do that. But although he’d never admit it to anyone, well, anyone but his girlfriend, he had been wondering himself what it would be like to have sex as a girl, with another girl of course, never with a boy. He was glad that he got finally rid his nightmares where Kuno tried to rape his ‘pigtailed girl’. But he wasn’t ready to take that step… yet. “Kassy, I really appreciate the offer, but I’d like to wait for a bit? It’s nice to know that you don’t mind my curse, but I don’t think I’m ready to take that step.” He let out a heavy sigh and decided to come clean. After all, Kassy deserved to know the truth. “I’ll be honest with you and I hope that you’ll never tell anyone about it, but I too have been thinking about it for quite a while, and I’ll be ready to try it one day. Just give me some time, please.”
Kassy was disappointed, but didn’t show it. After all, she understood perfectly well where Ranma was coming from. Having been treated like a freak for over a year because of his curse must have been Hell. She knew what it was like to be different, although most people in Quagmire didn’t mind, especially since she had been living there all her life and knew almost everyone. And she’s lead a much better life than her lover had, crazy stuff notwithstanding, as HER parents at least loved and supported her unconditionally. Genma really was a sorry excuse for a father as she was able to find out, simply by observing the idiot. Sure, Ranma was an incredibly talented and powerful martial artist, but outside of the martial arts socially inept. But she had decided some time ago that she would do everything in her power to fill those holes in his education and help him become a man every family would be proud to have as a son-in-law. If that family were hers, all the better. ‘I wonder what his mother is like. If she was willing to marry someone like the Panda there must be something really wrong with her. I guess I’ll have to ask Ranma later on’.
Ranma hastily removed his clothes once again before shouting, “Ready or not, here I come!” Just as he was about to jump his girlfriend, the couple heard a huge commotion outside of the room. The pigtailed boy just shrugged and readied himself for some more horizontal action. But before he could impale his only love once more, the door exploded and they could hear someone shout in a very angry tone, “.WHERE ARE THEY? THEY ARE SO DEAD!”
After the smoke had cleared, Ranma blinked… once… twice at the short-skirted interloper standing at the entrance like she owned the place and emitting a frightening aura. The martial artist was a realist and had expected an interruption of some kind. But he had expected one of his fiancées or one of the rivals, not a Sailor Senshi.
“I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition,” Ranma said, wondering where that had come from.
Just then the head of another senshi appeared in the entranceway behind the first one, this one making him feel really queasy, what with her resemblance to Akane, and retorted, “NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition,” but then pulled back out of the doorway just as fast as it had appeared, blushing furiously. She had no idea what had come over her; she usually wasn’t that forward.
Ranma, Kassy, and the other senshi just blinked after witnessing this surreal spectacle.
Ranma was used to being accused by his fiancées and rivals for every real or imagined slight, but he was sure that he’d never met any of the Sailor Senshi. That’s not something you’d forget. They weren’t very discrete in their work and caused even more destruction in Juuban than the NWC did in Nerima. Thus he had no idea what he could possibly have done to earn Sailor Moon’s ire. Maybe Happosai had molested the senshi somehow, trying to get at their magical lingerie or something like that. He wouldn’t put it past the old perv to do that and put the blame on him. But then, the girls should be aware that prancing around in those ridiculous getups and flashing their panties were like a homing beacon to the aged master.
With his luck the blonde leader probably was another fiancée, and she looked to be just as violent as his other ones. Oh joy.
And she wasn’t alone. Ranma had already seen Sailor Mercury briefly, and he focused on the others. Yep, all five were there. Maybe all of them were fiancées; it wouldn’t surprise the pigtailed teen at all. But only Sailor Moon was radiating killing intent, while her friends were more subdued and couldn’t manage to hide the blush that appeared on their faces.
Just then Ranma remembered that he wasn’t wearing any clothes and dove for his boxers, having completely forgotten about the blonde girl that was after his hide. But when Usagi saw the boy she had just attacked, she immediately calmed down. He didn’t look anything like her Mamoru. “Erm, oops?” She managed to whisper before she too developed a deep red blush, but for an entirely different reason than the other senshi. “He, he, he. Erm, girls? I think we have overstayed our welcome. SCATTER!” Just as she was about to run away she slipped and fell down. Huge sweat drops formed on the spectators’ heads.
But just as the worst seemed to have passed, Sailor Mars spotted Kassy, who had been so shocked by the sudden appearance of the nookie crashers that she hadn’t transformed back into her human form, and shouted, “YOUMA!!!” Before anyone could react the black haired girl made some hand signs, and the room was heating up. What happened next was pure chaos.
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(Posted Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:21)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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