Heck, he'd been tied to a rock with ravens eating his liver for SEVEN THOUSAND YEARS! That he was a little behind the times and doing a lot of catch up was to be expected.
He also wanted to run across Zeus and them and have a few 'discussions' about things. The last time anyone had even come by to shoo away the damn birds and give him any news had been Hermes and THAT had been around 1050 BC if he was reading these histories right.
So he was rather dumbfounded to find that nobody was around. Well, almost nobody. Pluto didn't know about it himself, saying that the last he'd heard from anyone was around the same time that Hermes had dropped by Tartarus. So far he'd checked all the usual haunts and nothing had been moved for centuries at the very least.
Opening the door to a workshop, Prometheus had little hope for finding anything here. After all, there was no sign the forges had been used in millenia.
"HEY HEY! Wipe your feet!"
Prometheus, Titan of Foresight, had to admit he SHOULD have seen this coming. "Hephaestus?"
"Last time I checked," said the hunchbacked fellow, grumbling as he worked on something.
"What are you doing?" asked Prometheus.
"Constructing artificial muscle tissues in a nanotech vat, what does it LOOK like I'm doing?" grumbled Hephaestus as he did something inscrutable.
"Uhm, right," said Prometheus. "Say, do you know what happened to the other Olympians?"
"No, they kicked me out," grumbled Hephaestus. "I'm in a subpocket off the base of the mountain. Surprised you didn't notice."
"Well, actually I did," said Prometheus, admitting that he'd followed the directions on the sign of the old foundry. "When did this happen?"
Hephaestus clicked something, which caused a rectangle of light to appear in midair. "Three thousand nine hundred and twenty years ago, five months, twelve days, six hours and thirteen minutes ago. Not that I'm counting or carrying any grudges. Why? Did they finally let you off that mountain to talk me into fixing something of theirs?"
"No, actually I can't find any of them," said Prometheus. "Pluto apparently hasn't visited Olympus in millenia. You haven't either, I take it."
"No," said Hephaestus, fiddling with a dial. "They threw me out. Said I didn't fit the right image they were trying to establish, and they formed a Homeowners Association to put out rules that said I had to stop with doing my blacksmithery. Pfeh."
"So, uhm," said Prometheus. "You haven't noticed that they're all gone?"
"No, did you leave a message?" asked Hephaestus. "By the way, glad you're off that damn mountain. Damn stupid business putting you there in the first place. Did my clockwork hawk chase off the birds?"
"For about fifty years," said Prometheus. "That was you, then? There wasn't anyone to wind it up."
"Oh," said Hephaestus, looking up from his displays. "Huh. Didn't think of that. Hmmm. Sorry about that."
"Well, if you don't know what happened to the Olympians, can you help me repay a debt to someone who DID get me off that boulder?" asked Prometheus. "He's a martial artist named Ranma Saotome."
"I don't... 'Ranma Saotome?' Japanese guy?" asked Hephaestus, now adjusting some thick glasses to look directly at Prometheus.
"Well, yes, he IS from that island," admitted Prometheus.
"Tokyo?" asked Hephaestus, beginning to grin.
"Yes, I looked it up when I was investigating some area Pluto told me about," said Prometheus. "He lives in Nerima."
"Huh," said Hephaestus. "Where were you investigating?"
"Akihabara," said Prometheus.
"AH!" said Hephaestus, eyes seeming to light up behind the thick lenses. "The mecca for mecha. Yes. Hmph. Didn't know Pluto ever got down that way. Have to go hit a maid cafe with him."
"Well, I need to repay Ranma for getting me off that rock," said Prometheus. "He's a hero, and therefore not subject to special penalties that might come down on him if Pluto ever decides he HAS to hit Ranma with something."
"He doesn't know?" asked Hephaestus. "He's such a stickler for the rules."
"Well, Ranma identified himself as someone else, and it turns out the one he named has gotten a massive case of hubris to be addressed," said Prometheus.
"Hah. That'd do it," agreed Hephaestus, rubbing his chin. "Hmmm. Hero. Japanese. Needs a giant robot does he? I've got just the thing!"
"Actually I noticed some of these TV series there feature martial arts and since he IS a martial artist," said Prometheus, letting his voice trail off.
Hephaestus looked almost comically disappointed. "No giant transforming or combining mecha?"
"No, there doesn't seem to be any suitable menaces coming around," said Prometheus.
Hephaestus brightened. "Robot girl ninja maid! I can do that!"
"From what I've seen he has a girl around him who is prone to Hera's own fits of jealousy," said Prometheus.
"That bad, huh?" grumbled Hephaestus, deflating again slightly. "Damn. Well, maybe later. Bighearted gynoid ninja maid. Gotta be done..."
"Maybe later," temporized Prometheus.
"Fine, fine, HEY!" said Hephaestus. "My actualizer! That'll work!"
"What's that?" asked Prometheus.
"Oh, I came up with the idea CENTURIES ago," said Hephaestus. "Multiple universes, anything you can imagine exists in another space/time, that sort of thing, right?"
"Yes, I believe I've heard the concept," admitted Prometheus. "It HAS been years though."
"So I said to myself," said Hephaestus, "if it exists ELSEWHERE then why can't we make a perfect copy of it in our OWN space/time. Problem with it though was the energy requirements. Maybe if I hook it up to my Warp Engine..."
"A what engine?" asked Prometheus, again realizing he had a LOT of catching up to do.
"Oh, something I saw in a TV program awhile back, uses matter and antimatter to provide power," said Hephaestus. "Bwahaha. The engines canna take more of this? Well MINE CAN! Bwahahahahaha!"
"Why are you laughing like that?" asked Prometheus.
Hephaestus shrugged. "Gotta go with the times. I get two million three hundred thousand channels on my TV here. Eccentric but lovable reclusive scientists have to do stuff like that nowadays."
"So can you do it?" asked Prometheus, deciding to go with the important info.
"Oh, yes," said Hephaestus. "Which program did you want to copy martial arts from?"
"A series called 'Naruto' actually," said Prometheus as Hephaestus practically blurred around the room adjusting things and fitting wiring harnesses together.
"Yeah, I think I got the DVDs around here somewhere," said Hephaestus. "Not really that good a series. No mecha."
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(Posted Mon, 16 Feb 2009 07:24)
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