"WAKE UP!" yelled Hinata, shaking the other Hinata."What?!" asked the Hinata on the ground. "Who are you?!"
"I'm your 'Inner Hinata'," the Hinata in a short skirt and tank top said. "I'm the you that doesn't get out much."
"...Neither of us really get out much then..." said Hinata.
"Ain't that the truth," said Inner Hinata. "Never mind that! You've got to speak up now!"
"But... I..." fidgeted Hinata.
"Are you really going to let Naruto be seduced BY A BOY?! If this happens, what of his dreams to be Hokage? What of YOUR dreams!" demanded Inner Hinata.
"My dreams? I don't have any..." began Hinata.
"Puh-leeze," said Inner Hinata, fixing her other self with a skeptical look. "Hello. I'm your Inner You, remember? I know about your dreams of Naruto!"
Hinata gasped.
"I know about your dreams about getting Naruto off by yourself and then... heh heh heh."
"That's not true," said Hinata, kneeling down and covering her ears. "I don't think things like that!"
"Uh huh," said Inner Hinata.
"I hardly ever think of things like that!" protested Hinata.
"Yeahhhhh," indicated Inner Hinata.
"I rarely ever have dreams like that," continued Hinata, not managing to sound convincing in the least.
"Are you done yet?" asked Inner Hinata.
"For now," said Hinata, looking defeated.
"It's time for YOU, Hinata," said Inner Hinata. "We can do it! We can rescue Naruto from the clutches of Sasuke and yaoi fangirls!"
"Oh, I don't know, I don't think I can do..." said Hinata, fidgeting.
Inner Hinata clenched one fist. "Now is our chance! If we fail to act NOW, Naruto will be lost to us!"
"But I..."
Inner Hinata pulled out a booklet. "See this! We're up to a social rank of two now! See - the description has changed!"
Hinata read. "'Hinata is a weird girl, but kinda nice.'"
"That's a 100% improvement over the previous comment!" said Inner Hinata.
"I'm still 'weird' though," noted Hinata.
"Uhm, yeah, go figure. You stare at him, then can't look at him when he looks at you," said Inner Hinata, ticking off points on her fingers. "You're continually ducking or hiding when attention drifts our way."
"But I can't... I just can't," said Hinata.
"And then that," said Inner Hinata, "is why we will lose and Naruto will be nothing more than Sasuke's boytoy. Are you going to let him take Naruto?"
Ino's head whirled, but she hadn't lost consciousness. Sasuke. Doing THAT with Naruto. Not only apparently knowing where Naruto lived but knowing where his medicine cabinet was. That implied a degree of familiarity not normally shared with members of a ninja team.
Which meant that she had to save Sasuke from the clutches of... Naruto?!
Of all the boys in the village, Sasuke was with NARUTO?!
"No, I don't want to go there," muttered Ino, except that it was too late as her imagination had just gone ahead and done just what she hadn't wanted it to do. Flashing yaoi pairings of Sasuke up with roughly a quarter of the village males. Urk.
She was able to get past Choji+Sasuke with only mild nausea, but as the next was the Third Hokage pairing - it soon exceeded her capacity for such things.
"BLEARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
As the yaoi parade of images insisted on running across her mind's eye, Ino Yamanaka swore off any of the yaoi manga Sakura might bring to club meetings in the future.
Had someone asked her before facing the very real possibility of a Sasuke+Naruto pairing, Sakura Haruno would have stated that "yaoi was cool" and similar slogans.
That was then. This was now.
"I... lost to... Naruto?!" muttered Sakura. "To Naruto?!" To Ino, maybe. To one of the other girls, possibility. Losing to a guy who was cool, devastating but maybe somehow survivable. To the class clown? To lose to Naruto?!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Sakura, galvanized to action as she headed in to the battle. The little black-haired girl hesitating at the window was thrown aside. This had to be stopped now!
"EEEP! Ahh, Sakura?!" asked Naruto, having come to a complete halt on seeing someone crash through the window.
"SA-SU- krrrrrk?" managed Sakura as she came to a complete halt herself. This was mostly because someone had grabbed her, slammed her up against the wall, and now had a kunai against her throat.
"Oh, it IS you," grunted Sasuke as he let her go. "Naruto, you scream like a little girl."
"What? Like Sakura did?" asked Naruto. "Anybody would get spooked with that sort of thing."
"No, like a little girl," explained Sasuke, as he sat back down. "The sort who go around in pigtails playing with dolls."
"I just got a little startled," explained Naruto.
"Well, finish my back fast," said Sasuke. "The damn fan club will be here any minute with all that fuss!"
"NO, SASUKE!" yelled Sakura as soon as she was let go. "You mustn't give up on women! Here, look!"RIP
"Yeah, so?" asked Sasuke. "You should get your clothes made out of better material."
"Damn, I thought she was just flat chested, but maybe you're really a boy after all like Megumi's been saying," said Naruto.
"DIE!" predictably went Sakura.
"Sasuke!" declared Ino, incidently flattening Sakura now that her rival was distracted. "You can't give up on girls!" rip!
"I really don't know what's going on," said Naruto, "but this is an interesting trend, don't you think?"
"Meh," said Sasuke, who saw it as nothing but trouble.
"No, Naruto!" called out Hinata, who came around to flank Ino. "You can't find... bandages?"
"No, I can find the bandages," said Naruto. "Well?"
"W-well, what?" asked Hinata.
"Are you going to rip open your shirt too?" asked Naruto.
"N-n-no, I couldn't do that," stuttered and blushed and sweated Hinata.
"Damn, the girls after YOU can't wait to do that," muttered Naruto to Sasuke.
"Uh, 'bandages'?!" asked Sakura and Ino together.
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(Posted Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:45)
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