"Do you know me?" Ukyou said shrilly.
"Errr...yeah," Ranma said.
"I do believe that she is one of the fiancees your father arranged for you from your homeworld, sir," Alfred said. "A Miss Ukyou Kuonji."
"But...Ukyou's a guy," Ranma said confused. "And there's no way she can be mistaken for a guy...errr...unless there's a spell in that book to change that."
"I don't know, ask Molly," Mira said. The shadowdancer grumbled irritably but didn't respond.
"I've ALWAYS been a girl, ever since you and that fat jerk ran off and left with my dowry and left me behind!" Ukyou shouted.
"I remember you running after us and yelling something," Ranma said, starting to think hard, using some of the meditative tricks he had learned over the last few years. "And pop was saying that you were wishing me luck on my training and I got to ride instead of walk for once because....oh maaaannnn. Poppp. That was your cart, wasn't it?"
"Bravo, genius," Ukyou said.
"Errr, I guess, I'm honorbound to marry you a couple of different ways then," Ranma said.
"Listen you, I don't care what you say, I came here for one...." Ukyou paused and blinked for a moment. "Did you say marry me?"
"Uh huh," Ranma said. Ukyou suddenly got very dreamy eyes and entered into a day dream with herself and Ranma running an okonomiyaki shop together.
"Why would he run a tavern?" Tara asked quickly, breaking into Ukyou's thoughts. "I mean he's the prince of the kingdom. The only kingdom on the world right now. When he grows up, he'll be king. He's rich," it is important to note that, being a kender, Tara did not particularly understand what "rich" was, since she had no real concept of possession either, but knew that it was supposed to be very good. "He's supposed to rule the nation."
Ukyou cut out her day dream a moment and considered that. Suddenly shifting into a new daydream. A chain...thousands of Ucchans, all opening up, with herself teaching a flock of young children how to make the perfect okonomiyaki (or smash perverts and thieves) to grow up to be an army of the greatest okonomiyaki chefs, all beholden to her.
"Well, we know who the first wife is then," Mira said.
"First wife?' Ukyou said, snapping out of her second okonomiyaki daydream.
"Actually," Ranma said. "Err could you wake up Tarre and Akordia."
"Not a problem," Jastra said. "She was starting to grope me anyway." And she said with an oh so honest note of irritation at that prospect...really she did.
The black dragon was carefully shaken awake and she stretched and looked around, confused at her surroundings and wondering why she wasn't in her nice, dank spot in the dungeon, sleeping on her lovely, soft and comfortable pile of gold? Then she saw Ranma and the other girls looking moderately grim.
"What happened?" Tarre asked nervously, in a voice that was at once a softly scared little girl and a deep dragon's voice.
"Errr, Ladies," Ranma said, getting down to one knee. "If you would accept me as your husband. I would gladly..."
Ranma never managed to get anything else out under the chorus of "YES!"
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(Posted Sat, 11 Jan 2003 10:16)
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