Looking around, Setsuna was pleased with her handiwork. With that spell in place, she’d get some privacy. No chance of Celestial, Infernal, Magic or Psychic scrying. It wouldn’t stop any electric signals, but she didn’t think there were any Steel-types of the Tech variety around or any of the proper equipment to hunt her.
Still, the Megami knew the more time they wasted, the more time the Celestial Conspiracy had to track her down. She was still registered to them until this boy used his connections to free her. “Now, may I join your team and prove myself a valued asset before several angry Megami come to bring me to task for some minor destruction of property?”
“...What was that last part?” Ranma questioned.
“Prove myself a valued asset,” the green-tressed pokéwoman replied without missing a beat.
“No I mean the destruction part, the part about impending doom and pain,” Ranma insisted. “I got the asset part fine.”
Setsuna sweat dropped a little. Damn it, the little bastard had to kill the joke, didn’t he? She was about to say something when Cologne did for her.
“Obviously,” the blunette Chinese Megami said in an annoyed tone. “Miss Meiou here has taken some liberties to free herself from her confinement.”
Raising an eyebrow, the green-tressed Megami replied to her fellow Celestial, “I’m impressed. You actually admit it is confinement rather than a ‘job’.” She held up her hands, making quotation marks in the air with her fingers.
That statement caught the pigtailed martial artist off-guard. “Wait,” the nephew of Sukotto spoke up. “You’re saying you were a... prisoner?” Ranma asked slowly, wanting some clarification.
Nodding her head, Setsuna replied, “Let’s just say there are a lot of Megami that are jealous of my power but still see me as being able to fit into their own world-view of what they consider ‘useful’. Therefore, they keep me under lock and key about ninety-five percent of the time, letting me out occasionally to go grocery shopping and pick up enough feminine hygiene products for a month.”
The Pokégirl Trainer-to-be just stared at the Megami in stunned silence for a long time. “...Is there anyway to free you?” Ranma asked, getting that ‘Saotome saves the girl’ look in his eyes.
At hearing that inquiry, Setsuna smiled. “Actually there is.” She made her way over to Kasumi, placing her hand on the Tigress’ shoulder and making the striped feline pokégirl let off a yelp of surprise. “Kasumi here has told me that you might be interested in owning me... are you?” she asked, sounding hopeful herself.
“If I... own you...” Ranma trailed off with a wince. Kami-sama, how he hated the sound of the word—he couldn’t wait to get things back to some normalcy. “It’ll free you?”
The tanned woman nodded her head firmly. “There are special...” she paused, taking a moment to consider the right words. "Requirements concerned towards getting me registered to a Trainer.” She smiled at him. “While we haven’t known each other long, from what I know of you... you have the spearhead I need towards getting said registration passed.”
Now it was Cologne that understood. “You’re thinking Ranma can use his uncle’s influence to get yourself accepted into his Team?”
The ‘younger’—depending on your point of view—Megami nodded her head firmly to the other’s question. “Precisely,” while Setsuna could admit to herself that such might be a bit underhanded, she wasn’t about to just about to let anyone use her as a tool.
Hearing that, the pigtailed martial artist questioned, “Okay so we go find my Uncle and get this settled?” He had to admit, he was a little interested in meeting this Sukotto guy. Apparently because of Hiroshi and Daisuke’s meddling, this person was his uncle and someone very powerful in world politics.
Shaking her head, Setsuna replied, “Nothing as difficult as that. It’s been tried before but...” she winced. “There’s some sort of ‘flag on my information. Whenever I tried to get registered; the information gets sent straight to the CEO of Sukebe Inc.—your uncle—as a priority alert. He is the one who has known about my powers from the start and has taken personal interest in me and my powers. In fact, he was the one that gave the ‘Okay’ to certain Celestial pricks to ‘take me in’, as it were.”
Noticing how this Megami was getting her house-guest fuming, The Nekomama Kimiko couldn’t help but smirk. Maybe she should have been more trusting of her eldest daughter’s ability to read people. She turned about and left the room, deciding it might be best to start heating up a kettle and prepare some tea and snacks for the growing amount of guests.
“So...” the pigtailed martial artist said slowly. “What do I have do?” She seemed that she really needed the help, and he wasn’t one to really doubt Kasumi’s judgment... even if in the reality before she told him that Akane was a, ‘sweet girl, just a violent maniac sometimes’.
The Megami smiled at him for a moment. Finally, she suggested, “Try registering me as your pokégirl; at this point, I really don’t care what slot. It should get the ball rolling, as it were.”
Thinking about it... Ranma felt maybe Combat/Support would be a decent bet since he knew she had rather useful skills... but he was unsure of how to directly apply them at the moment. Such a listing felt like a safe bet but he did have some rather knowledgeable people on hand for a second opinion. If he couldn't figure it ask someone who would! “Hey, Cologne?” he spoke up, wanting the Megami’s opinion. “What kind of position is Combat Support?”
Cologne raised an eyebrow. “Combat Support is a position for rotation of your team set-up or more precisely, the last of five.” At his confused look, she explained, “Usually PokéBattles are of the first three in rotation but sometimes can include upwards of a full six. If you look at it that way, Combat Support is ‘fifth’ in line. The first is the Primary Battler, then Secondary Battler, then the Tertiary Battler/Healer, then the Alpha, then the Combat Support, and then the sixth slot can be either the Pursuit/Combatant or Beta depending on the pokégirl.”
“Okay then we’ll put her in that slot...” the martial artist that-would-become Pokégirl Trainer said slowly. “And if I change my mind we can switch about, right?”
The Chinese Megami nodded her head. “Of course. Such is your choice but I feel keeping her fifth would be wise for most durations,” Cologne told him.
Nodding her head in agreement, Setsuna admitted, “I’m not really out to battle or take place in competitions just yet, so a chance to learn the ropes first would be nice.”
“All right,” the pigtailed martial artist replied as he reached over for the red Gameboy-like device handing on his belt. “So all that I need to do is register her as mine and that should do it.” With that, Ranma started fiddling with his PokéDex, inputting said information.
Number Thirteen jumped slightly and turned about rapidly; calming when she realized the buzzing sound had been her employer’s PokéDex on vibrate. “I thought you had that turned off for the duration of your... vacation... sir?” she questioned curiously. She had to admit, such was impressive that he’d keep it on. She thought him to be a laze-about goof-off when he went on his extended breaks.
Rolling his eyes, Dr. Sukotto let off an exasperated sigh. “I do. But I still keep the ‘emergency line’ up just in case there really is something important.” He pulled out his water-proof device from the pocket of his swim-trunks, before flipping it open with a flick of his wrist. Pressing a button, he switched the view from the ‘incoming data’ screen to that of the file.
Watching the head of Sukebe Inc. look over the main screen with a curious gaze, the Samurai cautiously asked, “Something important?”
The creator of pokégirls sighed in annoyance. “Well, well... it seems Miss Meiou is once again looking for an ‘out’ of her current contract with certain Celestial Busybodies. First that Chiba boy I had to turn down and now...” he paused. Slowly, the man raised an eyebrow as he double-checked what he was reading. “...Oh my...”
“...Sir?” Number Thirteen question, staring at her employer with a scrutinizing gaze. It wasn’t often he went silent like this; only when truthfully surprised or upset. And since he didn’t seem upset...
Finally, a devious grin split across Sukotto’s face. “Oh-hohoho... so that’s who she got for her ‘out’, eh?”
“...Sir?” The Espeon Number Six now cautiously questioned. “What’s going on?”
Slowly, the grinning professor turned about the data-pad in his hand for her to get a good view. “Check the name, Thirteen.”
Taking a step close and looking over her employer's shoulder at the PokéDex screen, the Samurai was suddenly VERY glad she had sunglasses on. It hid the shock she was sure was evident in her eyes. “Your nephew?” she whispered in genuine surprise. “How would she have found out about your nephew or visa-versa? She’s pretty much one of the company's biggest secrets and... no offense,” she started to say as she took a step back. “Ranma doesn’t work with your company.”
“No, he doesn’t,” Jim agreed. “But Setsuna Meiou is good at getting information. After all, information is the most powerful tool one can have besides monetary or military power.” His mouth firmed into a line. “Someone like her is looking for a way out, and so it’s only natural she’d dig around influential people. Someone who could get her out of her current position without the ramifications of such being able to strike her and them squarely in the nuts...” he licked his lips. “Believe me. Those Megami can hold a grudge as good as any of the girls with the powers from ‘down below’, if you catch my drift.”
“...So what are you going to do?” the Samurai finally asked. “Will you give him the proper verification and let your nephew take her as part of his team?”
Considering what he knew of the Megami and his nephew for a few minutes, the Pokégirl Scientist’s firm frown blossomed into a smile. “...It could be fun... if just to see Meiou’s handlers crapping themselves as she finally busts free of their system.” Yes, he knew what the Celestial Conspiracy had been up to since its conception. There were some things he found rather... distasteful. They needed the shake-up his sure his nephew could bring them.
Despite her desires to remain seeming professional, the Samurai pokégirl couldn’t help but twitch as her employer’s grin got wider and wider. “So, Sir... that’s a yes?”
“Indeed it is,” Sukotto replied as he hit a button on the keypad to confim the ‘Accept Proposal’ function on his PokéDex.
A sweat drop rolling down the side of the normally stoic Samurai’s head, the pokégirl asked, “Requesting permission to speak freely sir.”
Nodding his head, Jim replied, “Proceed, Number Thirteen.”
“Are you sure you’re not as nuts as people claim you to be?”
Needless to say, the good Doctor had a hearty laugh over that.
*BING*!
Ranma and those gathered stared as there was suddenly a very loud ring that came from his PokéDex. He again flips it open, checking the e-mail fuction. His eyes widened at the heading. “Request... GRANTED!? Holy crap!” the Saotome youth shouted. “It’s already been processed!?”
Looking over her new owner’s shoulder, Setsuna stared at the screen in complete awe and bafflement. It was processed in under the usual arduous days or weeks of time? It was... cleared so fast that her ‘job-holders’ couldn’t even begin a countermand and object, even if they dared?
Twitching, a small smile crept on Setsuna’s face. One that grew wider to Cheshire pokégirl-like proportions as she saw the look of dread that crossed that other Megami’s features.
One couldn't blame Setsuna for her lapse in etiquette.
“YES!” The viridian-haired, red-eyed, mocha-skinned Megami cheered, jumping up and down. She thrust her hand forward, practically poking the Chinese Megami in the nose. “IN YOUR FACE!!!”
The Tigress smiled as she realized that she now had a new Team-Sister. “She’s quite happy,” Kasumi said, having been silent for awhile.
“Er... yeah...” Ranma said slowly. “Quite happy...” he blinked his eyes as he heard a small chuckle. He turned to see that it was a certain Psivyx he’d met earlier had been standing behind him. “Oh! Miyo! What’re you doing here?”
The fox pokégirl met Ranma’s eyes with her own. “The cards told me that it was imperative I meet with you,” she said in all seriousness. Okay, maybe that was a bold-faced lie but she wasn’t going to miss out on a chance to be part of his team. After all, with the shield that had been placed up around the Tendo grounds, it would give them the time to get things done.
“Meet me? For what?” The young Saotome asked curiously, trying to ignore as Setsuna continued to hoot and holler about her newfound freedom.
“Well...” Miyo was blushing through her brown fur now; tails swaying back and forth behind her. “Have you... maybe... given thought to me being of aid to you?” she didn’t want to come out and beg him to make her part of his harem, but she was certainly going to drop straight-forward hints.
That made Ranma pause for a moment. “Give aid? I always like help but in what capacity do you mean?”
Having caught on, Kasumi smiled. While Miyo might have been a bit prehensive, the Tigress had no such qualms so she bluntly stated, “I think she wants IN on your team, Ranma.”
That made the young male blink his eyes once, twice. “Oh... why didn’t she say so?” He asked curiously.
The Psivyx blushed a bit. “Well, I didn’t want to be rude.” After all, rude behavior was often what drove Ranma away.
“What ‘rude’?” Shampoo questioned. “Miyo tell Ranma that Miyo want in harem right now. Is simple, yes?”
Cologne sighed. “Shampoo. How many times do I have to tell you? The term is not ‘harem’, it’s ‘team’.” Honestly, ‘harem’ was way too gauche...
Nodding his head, the raven-haired male turned his attention towards the Psychic-type of the Kitsune breed. “Well if you want on the team, that’s fine with me, Miyo.”
The brunette vulpine’s almond-shaped eyes seemed to light up with delight. “You mean that?” she asked, sounding very happy. “I believe I can be of much assistance as a Healer. Thanks to time learning the arts under my mother and grandmother, I know a number of cures for various ailments, both natural and magical in nature.”
Hearing that, Ranma nodded his head. While he wasn’t so big on her psychic skills, (especially after the ‘reading’ she gave him earlier) he could see the value in having a pokégirl with healing skills. “Okay, sure thing,” the pigtailed youth said with a nod of his head as he once again whipped out his PokéDex. “Now let’s see... file... Miyo... and send...” he smiled as he heard the Dex chime. “There we go!”
Having watched her new Trainer go to work as she helped her mother set up cups on the table, the Tendo Tigress smiled. “You’ve gotten good at that.” She praised.
Looking over at Kasumi, Ranma gave her a smile. “Given the rate of recruitment, I kind of have to get good with this Dex.” he chuckled. It was going to be sad to lose this skill once he set everything back in order.
“Sir,” the Espea spoke up from where she was positioned at the end of the bar. “Your nephew has gotten yet another pokégirl.”
“...So soon?” the man gaped, placing his drinking glass down. “Good God! My nephew went from shy to ‘pokégirl gigolo’ overnight! Just what the hell is going on!?”
The Psychic-type Eevee shrugged her shoulders. “I cannot say, boss. However, what I can tell you is that he just registered a new one mere minutes after Meiou’s registration was approved.”
Nodding his head firmly, Jim could only grumble, “Man... I really need to have a talk with that boy when I get back.” he chuckled. “Not that I’m angry or anything. It’s just this seems so unlike him.”
It was Number Thirteen that caught onto the meaning of their employer’s words. “You’re afraid he’s being taken advantage of?”
Nodding his head, Jim replied, “Precisely, but...” he chuckled again, twirling the tiny umbrella in his drink. “I really don’t think Kasumi has any skill in taking advantage of someone...” he frowned. “And with her as his Alpha... does she even have the skills to see to it that they get properly Bonded?” he lifted his drinking glass and tilted his head back. Maybe he’d need to send his nephew some videos? “I believe we have some... ‘educational material’ that could help them both.”
Number Six considered this turn of events. “Maybe we should send an agent to... show him the ropes or at least evaluate his choices for a team?” she suggested. A Psychic-type would be preferable, as they could scan for anything or anyone trying to alter and manipulate the young Sukotto heir’s mind.
Jim snorted. “No. I really think videos would be MUCH more helpful.”
Number Thirteen rolled her eyes. Even though he was a genius... at times, he really was like a dirty old man. “Perhaps but videos...” she sighed. “Well, if I may say so Sir, sometimes a women’s touch is needed.”
That comment made the intelligent man smirk mischievously. “The videos would be given to Kasumi. Not my nephew.”
“Oh?” the Samurai asked curiously, before realization hit harder than a kick to the teeth. “OH! I see...” she raised her right fist, coughing into it to hide her blush. “In that case... it would send the message.”
Nodding his head, Jim finished his drink. He snapped his fingers and asked the Tavernmaid pokégirl, “One more, please!”
“All right,” Ranma replied. “So you’re now my Tertiary Battler and Healer, Miyo. Think you’ll be up for this?”
Nodding her head firmly, the Psyvix replied, “Yes, Saotome. I won’t let you down!”
Placing his Dex back onto his belt, Ranma told her, “All right...” he shook his head as his mind finally caught up with the realization of all that had been going on. “Wow. I just about got my roster full and then some.”
Now it was Kimiko Tendo that spoke up. “You still don’t have a Primary Battler...” and in all honesty, that was one of the most important pokégirls on a Trainer’s team. They were the first out into battle and often the combat-capable girl.
To that question, Tsuruko finally spoke up after having held her silence all this time. “I can think of a possibility for that...” she looked over towards where her younger sister and Akane were huddled around the television.
Nabiki just rolled her eyes. “Uh, no offense Mama Tsuruko... but do you know how ‘clichéd’ that seems?”
“Why, I have no idea what you mean,” Tsuruko responded, a fan suddenly covering her mouth, her tone light.
Her eyes however would set most things ablaze.
“...” deciding that it was time the Alpha did her duty and protected those under her charge, the Beta of Ranma’s Team took a quick step to the side, standing behind the larger Tigress.
“Qwah-quite right...” Soun coughed out, finally having gotten enough blood and oxygen flow to his head that he could once again add his two cents. “I mean, if anything, it would be most fitting if Ranma were to take all three of my daughters: Kasumi, Nabiki and Akane.”
As he realized both of his pokéwomen were glaring daggers at him, he asked, “What?”
“Dear,” Kimiko started, now mimicking Tsuruko. “May I remind you just how many daughters and family members you have?”
“Yes, dear,” Tsuruko stated, now facing him. “Are you suggesting something about my dear sister?”
The man wisely shook his head. “Noooo,” whimpered Soun, trying and failing to pass out once more—for his body, not that he feared those pokégirls beyond all rationality. “I mean... there is nothing wrong with Motoko...” he said in all honesty. “It’s just important that we see to it Akane can find herself a good, trustworthy Trainer. I’m sure there will be many callers for Motoko like... er... the older Trainer whose name escapes me right now. But Akane doesn't have any takers as far as I know.”
Tsuruko barely nodded. True, that Keitaro boy had expressed some interest. But she wanted to be sure the teen wasn’t a pokékit lover. He did have those two small girls following him, asking to see his man-banana.
However, before either of Soun’s pokéwomen could further grill him on what should be done, there was a shout. “I demand that thee open these doors!” was the muffled yet still rather loud voice from outside, one that made Ranma slap himself on the face and groan in exasperation. “I have come to challenge the vile fool, Saotome!”
“Even in another world, I can’t escape him,” Ranma muttered, being careful how he even worded his thoughts, lest he discover... more Kunos.
Her ears rising and twitching, Kimiko turned her head towards the nearest entrance. “Does anyone else hear... disco music?”
“Holy crap!” Akane shouted, catching the attention of the others. “You’ve got to see what's going on TV you guys!”
The Ronin sitting next to the Tsundere twitched. “This...” Motoko looked a little green. “This is most disturbing.”
While the old saying ‘curiosity killed the cat’ was well known to this mostly feline family and guests, everyone gathered around the television set, to see what sight it was that disturbed the youngest Tendo daughter and step-daughter. Needless to say, many were soon wishing to gouge their eyes out. Even those who knew they couldn’t use a Healing Machine to then fix any said damage done to them.
“Am I really such a bad person?” Ranma muttered, still palming his face. “Did I like, piss off some Kami or whatnot and forget, or maybe because Pops made me?”
Kasumi leaned over to one of her Teammates. “What do the cards say?”
Taking the first card off her deck, Miyo looked at it before quickly sliding it back into the deck. “It says: “check back later”,” she murmured.
No way was she going to be the messenger delivering that! She wanted this job, thank you very much!
The image on the television showed the grounds of the Tendo Dojo, surrounded by the magical shield fueled by the powers of the recently acquired Megami. Of course, all around the Tendo grounds were the throngs of people: parade participants and goers, curious people, sudden throngs of vendors and of course, the numerous news-reporters.
“HEY!” Nabiki shouted. “They’re setting up booths around our house! Is there a city ordinance that allows that?” And if so, was there any way she could be making money off of this?
At St. Hebereke’s School for Pokégirls, a certain gymnastics-aligned pokégirl stared at the television before the class. “Please, don’t let him state his name,” Kodachi mentally prayed. Unlike her original self, a pokégirl wasn’t allowed to be insane, and thus she got the help needed.
Her brother and father, on the other hand... well, it was a man’s world...
“God, I hope I don’t end up with a Trainer like that,” one pokégirl stated.
“Same here,” replied another.
“Come out, foul sorcerer,” proclaimed the image of Tatewaki Kuno on the television set. “Come face the mighty sword of the heir of the Kuno Clan, come face you end as I spread your defeat to the world, with you laying upon thy knees, begging for my favor!”
The Denmother that ran the Social Studies course at St. Hebereke’s just watched the television in shock. “Wow... that was wrong on so many levels,” muttered the canine pokéwoman Headmaster.
“...Soooo...” an Eva said from her seat next to Kodachi’s. “Your brother really plays up on ‘ye olden samurai guy love’, huh?”
“Well, there never was a ‘Samurai’ for the Village People before...” said a Kitsune from behind the two. “Although it seems he plans to be such. I mean, he practically has the group there carrying his throne.”
“...I feel highly insulted by that chair...” said a rather pretty Unicorn pokégirl from the front of the class.
“Every day, I am only thankful that my family does not favor keeping family members as parts of their team,” replied Kodachi.
Ukyo paused, looking up at the television she had on for her patrons. “I swear, I leave Ranchan alone for one day, and look what happens...” she muttered, quickly taking off her apron and reaching for her bandoleer.
“Shampoo no know there so many colors,” replied the Cheetit of the Chinese Amazons.
“Shampoo,” the elder Megami spoke up. “Please don’t stare at the balloons...” she sighed.
The spotted feline pokégirl blinked her eyes once, twice. “What Great-Grandmother talking about?” she asked curiously. “Shampoo is talking about the colors on the thongs... the many, many thongs.”
“Would someone please turn my new Trainer around?” asked Nabiki. “I’m pretty sure that if this doesn’t turn him gay, that we won’t get any Bonding sessions done for a few years.”
“...The colors...” muttered a shell-shocked Soun Tendo.
Looking at the vacant look in her husband’s eyes, the Samurai shook her head. “Well, at least it isn’t due to Motoko and Akane making a meal this time,” muttered an annoyed Tsuruko. Turning her attention from her horrified husband to face the shuddering pigtailed Trainer, she told him, “Now Ranma, you must go out there and—”
“Run?” the Saotome youth asked hopefully.
Again, Tsuruko shook her head. “No, not run.”
“...You sure?” her family’s houseguest asked in a rather tiny voice.
This time, Tsuruko nodded her head firmly. “Positive. You are a Pokégirl Trainer now. If he is here to challenge you to PokéBattle then you must meet him head on, to accept his challenge and put the shame to all samurai culture in his place.”
The raven-haired practitioner of Anything Goes pointed to the television set. “Are you sure he’s a Pokégirl Trainer?” Ranma asked, looking for any out. Facing Tatewaki never ended well.
Tsuruko opened her mouth, but closed it, looking at the screen. “I... am not certain.”
“He looks more like a man that wishes to be the symbol of Gay Pride in all the wrong ways...” Kimiko said slowly.
That made the youngest Tendo perk up. “Does this mean I don’t have to worry about him going after me anymore?” asked the Tsundere pokégirl Akane.
Mokoto considered that for a moment. “I’ve never seen him using pokégirls,” replied the Ronin.
“So, he wishes to face you in pure hand-to-hand,” surmised Tsuruko. It was the only think that made sense at this point; not that much ever made sense when a Kuno was involved.
“Considering the fact he is standing on a mat next to a barrel full of baby oil, I would suggest otherwise,” stated Kimiko, trying to remember if she could set the TV for black-and-white. The colors were giving her a headache.
Ranma stared horrified at the sight of what was going on now. “This... this isn’t happening.”
Fortunately for him and everyone else in the room, the image on the screen shifted to that of a news-reporter. “Hello, this is Makiko Hirasei of Eye on Tokyo News 35! We’re here in front of the Tendo Dojo, School of the Tendo School of Anything Goes Martial Arts. As you can see, Nerima resident Tatewaki Kuno is here to openly display his, and I quote certain spectators, ‘manly love’ for Ranma Saotome, nephew of esteemed CEO of Sukebe Inc., Dr. Jim Sukotto.”
The Tigress’ ears flattened back against her skull as her tail went limp. “...Well... that’s nice of him,” Kasumi pathetically offered, trying to see some silver lining in this situation.
“Uh... can’t kick his ass now!” Ranma stated, quickly seizing on the reporter’s words. “It’ll look like I’m beating him up because he’s gay!”
When Nabiki nodded in agreement, he felt somehow even dirtier. “True. They will either assume it’s a lover’s spat or play it as Ranma being anti-gay.”
“As you can see, we’re here on the streets, to get the opinion of some of the locals.” The newswoman stopped by a youth with a yellow polka-dotted bandana that seemed to be trembling with anger. “You young sir, what do you think of this turn of events?”
“This...” Ryoga twitched. “This is impossible! I mean, I went to school with Ranma and—”
“Oh? Were you his lover then?” the reporter anxiously asked, hopeful to get an exclusive scoop.
The Hibiki male on television twitched as the guy with the spiky blonde hair standing behind him snickered. “NO!!” Ryoga shouted. “He’s as straight as an arrow. He may be a bit of a bread-stealing asshole and a coward that runs at the first sign of battle but he’s not gay!”
“You’re positive?” The Newswoman questioned.
“Of course!” Ryoga shouted. “You should see how much of a gigolo he is, how many women the pervert strings along.” he slowly gripped onto his umbrella, a cracking noise coming from it. “He’s the biggest womanizer ever!”
Sadly, this was loud enough for even Kuno to hear. “So, the foul fiend shows more of his vile nature!” the Kendoist cried out in scandal. “Such an insult to my pristine self cannot be left unchallenged! I shall strike him with my mighty sword, thrusting into his putrid soul, and showing all who the better man is!”
At the display the slick-coated body of Tatewaki put on, Ryoga visibly shuddered. “Oh please!” The Eternal Lost Boy snorted, trying to fight down the urge to throw-up. “There’s no way you’re going to make Ranma bow before you!”
“Of course I will!” the Kendoist shouted. “With my might sword, I will thrust into him again and again! His will fall to the might of Kuno, left tired and sweaty after I’m done with him! And believe me, I won’t be done with him for many hours!”
Ranma twitched once, twice. “...Kasumi?”
The Tigress turned about towards her Trainer. “Yes, Ranma?”
“Get me any alcohol you got here. I have brain cells and memories to kill,” the pigtailed martial artist stated firmly.
Setsuna perked up. “Oh! Alpha, would you be a dear and get me some too? I didn’t get to spend any quality time with Mr. Daniels today!”
His eldest walking past him and towards the kitchen, the Patriarch of the Tendo home quickly rushed over to Ranma. “For the honor of the school, you must face him!” demanded Soun. “What would your father say?”
The raven-haired teenager snorted. “Better the boy than me?”
Soun was quiet for a long moment. “Aside from that...”
“Hey! It ain’t like everyone knows I’m here!” Ranma replied angrily. “He’s here at your place! You deal with him!”
Having returned, the Tigress firmly nodded her head. “Oh, he’s right, Father,” Kasumi stated, handing Ranma a sake bottle and Setsuna a bottle of whiskey—they didn’t have any bourbon in the house. “As your guest, you must see to his safety, even deal with those who come to seek harm upon your guest.”
The lone male Tendo blinked his eyes. “...I would, but my old injury is acting up.” he nodded his head towards his feline pokéwoman.
Sighing, Kimiko accepted her cue and kicked her husband in the back of his right knee, making him fall over with a scream of intense pain. “Yes, dear. As you can see, your father’s trick knee is acting up again.”
Tilting her head as she watched her father roll left and right on the ground, the expression on Kasumi’s face was one of confusion. “...I thought Father’s trick knee was on his left leg?” the Tigress asked curiously.
The Nekomama grinned darkly. “It is.”
“Oh, poor Father,” the striped feline pokégirl sighed sadly. “I didn’t know they could spread.”
At this point, Ranma was now in a corner, before a lit candle, making as many prayers as he knew.
Anything Goes said he had to accept every challenge.
Common sense always saw otherwise. He didn’t accept that chess challenge for sex with his girl form being the bet, he wasn’t going to accept this! He may lack common sense, but even survival instincts counted for something.
He just needed some sign of what to do.
“And it appears we have two more friends of Saotome,” came the voice of the news-reporter from the television set
Looking quickly at the screen and seeing who it was, he knew the facts: to have a chance to get the Great Will back, he’d have to go outside.
Yes, he’d have to go outside. Where Kuno was...
“Maybe this world isn’t so bad after all...” Ranma thought to himself as he started to uncork the bottle of sake.
“So, boys,” Ms. Hirasei started. “You say you’re long time friends of Ranma Saotome?”
“That’s right,” Hiroshi said firmly. “And I can tell you without a doubt that Ranma Saotome is one-hundred percent... GAY!”
“WHAT!?” Ranma shouted from his corner.
The other male nodded his head. “Oh yeah,” Daisuke agreed. “You should see him in Gym Class, always looking over us guys in our short-shorts.... hell, I remember our first Gym Class!”
“I know man!” Hiroshi gasped. “All the balls he took to the face! He was bruised up from it!”
Soun managed to stop whimpering about his knee as an eerie red glow filled the room.
“Kiiiiiiiilllllll!!” Ranma hissed in a dark, thunderous tone, slowly trudging out of the corner and towards the entrance.
Kuno, people would doubt him.
Those two? No... only their heads on a pike would clear up that issue now.
“Oh my!” Kasumi gasped out as she walked over to Ranma, completely oblivious—or simply immune—to the killing intent. “Ranma, can I get you anything? Go out with you into battle? A family honor blade? Maybe a pair of pikes to put some heads on?” she offered, seemingly knowing how he felt.
“Yessss...” he hissed, continuing forward. He needed blood for the Blood God!
...
......
No, Ranma didn’t know what that meant. Yet somehow, it fit the scene in his mind at the moment.
However, despite his desire for bloody revenge, the pigtailed youth could hear in the distance, the voice of the Great Will trying to remind him that he needed them alive to get control back and that... unfortunately took a lot of steam out of his will to kill. “Kasumi, strike that. Simply get me a baseball bat. A sturdy one.”
Yes, breaking bones, they could still talk and beg for forgiveness.
“I only wish I could assist you, my son,” Soun offered from the floor.
Leaning over towards her husband, Kimiko told him, “We do have those crutches.”
“Oh...” the Tendo Patriarch stated slowly. “Ow! My back went out! Oh, why do the kami choose now to have these pains strike me?”
Ranma simply ignored Soun’s bravado as he took an experimental swing with the baseball bat. Ah yes, this would set things right.
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(Posted Mon, 22 Mar 2010 23:13)
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