[Episode 2439] [Episode 2439]"You dummy, that's not one of my attack phrases," complained a whiny voice.
A misty form began to appear.
Saturn gulped and activated a translation spell just to help the scene pass without a lot of repeated dialogue. "One of the Five Dysfunctional Witches! Captured years ago and imprisoned for their crimes against humanity, faerie, and various small animals!"
"The name is," the witch said, posing dramatically and adjusting her glasses, "Mimette! The cutest and most competent of the Witches Five!"
"Rut rind rof rimes?" Genma asked nervously as he considered his own less than spotless record.
"The thousands of Spartan soldiers turned into pigeons!" Saturn said, trying to remember.
"Right group, wrong person. That was Villuy," said Mimette, losing a bit of her pose.
"The one who conducted those medical experiments on flea bearing rodents that wiped out most of Europe?" Saturn guessed.
"That was Eudial," said Mimette, deflating slightly more.
"Set the fire in the Great Library of Alexandria?" Saturn tried.
Mimette began to twitch. "Terurun."
"Caused the volcanic explosion that destroyed the Minoan Empire?" Saturn suggested.
"Cyprine," answered Mimette.
"You're the one who did that with the gerbils, weren't you?" Saturn tried. Mimette began laughing evilly. "Yes! Yes! That was me! oh hohohohohohohoho"
Several gathering Amazons looked ill and a passing member of PETA snapped photos of the offending boy.
"It was I who led the Pacific Islanders to destroy the emu when they would have worshipped the damn birds," declared Mimette. "I who released those nutria in North America. It was I who have guided the extinction of dozens of species! Oh, poor Mimette, so misunderstood. To destroy species so that they can properly be appreciated."
"So, uhm, she's a bad guy, right?" Ranma asked Saturn.
"What are your attack phrases, again?" Mousse asked a boulder, his glasses having fallen off.
"Oh bother, if you want anything evil done, you've got to do it yourself," Mimette exclaimed. "Snail Surprise!"
Ranma plucked one out of her hair as the snails rained down. "Ya gotta be kiddin' me."
"AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Getitoff! Getitoff! Getitoff!"
Ranma and Genma looked at all the Amazons and one djinnya all running around in a panic.
"What a strangely effective attack," corrected Ranma.
Cologne merely looked slightly disgusted. "I've eaten French food, it takes more than a rain of slugs and garden snails to phase me."
"Ohohohohoho!! Then I'll have to get really nasty! Behold! The Plague Of Loose Bowels!" Mimette raised her hand, gathering energy. "You shall all suffer long before you die!"
Ranma retracted her fist. Mimette fell over.
"Hey! That's my evil witch! You can't get away with this!" Mousse informed a tree.
Shampoo pulled off the last snail, walked very nicely up to her blind suitor. "Oh, Mousse?" Shampoo's voice was pure sugar.
"Shampoo?"
"I'd rather marry that Outsider girl than go out on a date with you!" Shampoo indicated the redhead who had just knocked out the evil witch.
Mousse found his glasses and peered over at the offender. "Who are you anyway?"
"Ranma Saotome, of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts," she said, flicking her pigtail back.
"Ranma, prepare to die!" Mousse declared. "For stealing the love of my Shampoo, you shall be punished."
"Huh?!" This was said by Ranma, Shampoo, Cologne, most of the Amazons, and possibly the unconscious Mimette.
Ranma thought this guy was pretty sick, associating with gerbils and falling in love with hair soap.
Shampoo blinked, growled, walked over to Mousse and began doing horrible terrible things to him that would raise the violence rating of this episode by several levels were it detailed.
"He must be fairly tough to have lived through all that," said Saturn.
"He is of Amazon descent," agreed Cologne. "We've arranged a guide to take you to Jusenkyo. Once there, you can use Spring Of Drowned Man to give yourself the ability to change back to male in your case and human in your father's. Just be careful not to get into any of the other springs."
"Got ya," said Ranma as a dust cloud tumbled through the streets to end up with Ranma pinning Shampoo to the ground.
Cologne sighed. "Why can't anything ever remain simple. (Shampoo, you know the law on this.)"
Shampoo considered carefully then shook her head as best she could while she was still pinned.
Cologne took a deep breath and explained. "(According to Chinese Amazon Law, passed down through 3000 years of tribal history:)"
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(Posted Thu, 21 Nov 2002 11:21)
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