"What?" asked Sasuke as Kakashi handed a small jar.
"When did she get that? I gave up on that stuff months ago," said Naruto.
"You recognize this then?" asked Kakashi.
"Yeah, it's a variant on a soporific poison I was working on," admitted Naruto. "Put it on a dart or something and your target will be slowed down and their balance would be thrown off. Only lasts for a few minutes."
"Okay," said Kakashi, seeing potential uses for such a thing. "Why did you stop using it?"
"Hallucinogenic side effects," said Naruto. "If you're trying to kill the target, there's better stuff to use. If you're trying to capture the target, that can backfire pretty quickly."
"Well, add that it makes the user a lot more susceptible to genjutsu," said Kakashi. "Case in point - Sakura's pretty much convinced she's a cherry tree."
"That's odd, they should have recognized it as Frilled Mushroom Cap-based poison," said Naruto, scratching his head. "There's antidotes for it. I was just tweaking the recipe a bit."
"I'll relay that in case they somehow missed it," said Kakashi. "In the meantime. D-Rank Missions."
"and so today's D-Rank mission is..." Kakashi's voice trailed off as he read the description. "Walking dogs."
"Walking dogs?" asked Naruto. "I don't get it."
"What don't you get?" asked Kakashi.
"Academy students could do things like that," pointed out Naruto. "In order to graduate we had to be able to do a form of clone technique, the henge, and substitution. We had to be able to demonstrate taijutsu skills. We had to be able to demonstrate some accuracy with throwing weapons of one kind or another. We had to be able to demonstrate teamwork. To walk dogs?"
"D-Rank missions are tasks that can be done within the village, that require no contact with an enemy, and yet still generate income for the ninja in question," said Kakashi patiently.
"So... why use ninja for it?" asked Naruto. "I mean really - the three Academy skills won't help at all. Teamwork isn't necessary for dogwalking. Unless..."
"Unless?" prompted Kakashi as Naruto's voice trailed off.
"Unless this is one of those 'hidden layer' things," mused Naruto.
"Ah, 'looking underneath the underneath' then?" asked Kakashi. "I wonder."
Sasuke frowned and seemed to be considering that.
"Unless it's just 'scutwork' then," said Naruto. "This is stuff that you come up with that the experienced ninja turn their noses up at."
"Ah, you've figured it out," said Kakashi.
"So maybe we're going to have to do it in true ninja fashion?" asked Naruto.
"How would you walk dogs in 'true ninja fashion'?" asked Sasuke, not aware of how this simple question would inspire Naruto to get creative.
He should have known, perhaps. The entire village should have known that giving Naruto boring drudgework jobs would cause him to try and make them more... interesting.
"Hmmmm," hmmmed Naruto thoughtfully and at this point both Sasuke and Kakashi DID realize that fate or karma was about to take a turn for the bizarre.
It was too late at that point.
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(Posted Fri, 27 May 2011 20:34)
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