"Naruto Uzumaki, swordpriest of the Shinmei Ryuu," said Naruto.
"Sasuke Uchiha," offered Sasuke, who then went back to brooding about something.
"So, you're here because you have absolutely nowhere else to go and aren't a ninja either," said Naruto. "Oh, and this is my sword, Hinata."
"Pleased to meet you."
"Uhm, that's a wooden sword," pointed out Kyon.
"Yes," said Naruto.
"That just talked," added Kyon.
"Right," said Naruto, blinking slightly.
"Okayyyy," said Kyon, flopping down to sit on a crate. "Sorry, I'm just having trouble adapting to all this."
"He's gone!" said Haruhi, holding her head with both hands and sitting at the table. "He's... gone!"
Yuki exchanged a look with Mikuru, ready for just about ANYTHING to happen. Haruhi had calmed a little bit down, but there could be a lot of trouble on the way at any moment.
The door opened and Itsuki Koizumi entered, looking shaken.
"Itsuki?" asked Mikuru, flinching slightly when Haruhi abruptly looked up and focussed on the now-sole male member of the SOS Brigade.
Itsuki glanced at Haruhi, then nodded to Mikuru.
"So, did you find anything?" asked Haruhi.
Itsuki visibly considered several things before slumping slightly. "Outside of this room, it seems nobody remembers him. There is no current record of him that I could find."
"W-w-what?" asked Haruhi. "How? He - he was here!"
"Maybe a passing kami or kitsune or something heard your wish," tried Itsuki.
"My... wish?" said Haruhi before slumping back onto her seat.
Itsuki considered all the possible things he could say and the possible disasters that could occur. Finally he decided to try the most simple solution. "Since you wished he would go 'far far away' and stop interfering, maybe if you wish he were back?"
"I didn't mean it!" yelled Haruhi at the ceiling. "I take it back!"
Mikuru limped to her chair, tired of standing at this point. Yuki had already gone to the computer and was typing away.
Itsuki sighed. The whole thing had started with Mikuru. Haruhi had gotten a little rough with her usual forced-dressing of Mikuru - this time into an Evangelion plugsuit. Mikuru had gotten hurt. Not permanently, but her leg had been pretty twisted during a tackle. Yuki had done... something so the muscle tear was reknitting but Kyon had gotten incensed and started yelling and then Haruhi had started yelling.
Maybe it was Haruhi's time of the month? That WOULD be a potentially world-shaking complication.
Yuki gasping was sufficiently unusual to draw attention. Which was good, as far as Itsuki was concerned. Mikuru was already beginning to cry and it would turn into a massive release at any moment, and Haruhi - who knew what could happen in this situation.
"Found something on the computer?" asked Itsuki.
"I found... Kyon. He's a character on an anime."
"Excuse me?" asked Itsuki as Haruhi stuck her head back up to look puzzled in the direction of Yuki and Mikuru sniffled but began to look hopeful.
Yuki pulled up the Anime Reviews page, revealing an illustration, then turned the monitor so everyone could see.
"It's him..." said Haruhi on seeing the picture.
"Hmmm," hmmmed Itsuki as he read the description. "'Kyon is the user-identification character in 'Sword Of The Leaf' useful for Exposition and notable for being a Deadpan Snarker.' What's a 'Deadpan Snarker'?"
"Why is Kyon a character in an anime?!" asked Haruhi.
"'Kyon was thrown from a normal universe to the ninja-world by someone making a wish in his world and having nascent magical powers she doesn't know how to control'," said Itsuki, glancing very carefully at Haruhi. "Anyway. Let's see. 'As a sixteen year old normal high school student teamed up with a vengeance-haunted ninja and a demon-container swordpriest, it is doubtful he'll survive the season.'"
Any further reading was interrupted by Mikuru getting extremely weepy and by Haruhi swearing. Yuki frowned.
Itsuki simply raised an eyebrow, not having heard Haruhi swear before but it did seem she had the basics down.
Yuki took the opportunity to turn the monitor back towards herself and her fingers began flying as she started searching for more sites.
"So, we have to paint fences and walk dogs and things like that?" asked Kyon, relaxing a bit. "I can do that."
"So you're just an average student who got summoned here, not a ninja or a swordsman or... do you have any fighting skills?" asked Naruto.
"Uhm, no," said Kyon. "Oh, I've learned basic stuff in phys-ed but that's about it."
"Hnn," indicated the brooding Sasuke.
"Well, we'll have to get you trained before our first monster-hunting mission," noted Naruto.
"Waitaminute," said Kyon. "Didn't you just say that all your missions so far had involved..."
"Yeah, but Sasuke's a ninja and I'm a monster-hunting swordsman," said Naruto. "It's kind of inevitable we're going after stuff like that."
"Hnn?"
"No, I figure it's one of those things like some of the training the monastery put me through," said Naruto. "You have to master the wooden blade before you get permission to make a steel one. Anyway, Kyon, I can start you off with some weapon training. With your height, maybe staff or spear?"
"I don't suppose we can just stick with the fence-painting stuff?" asked Kyon. "This world has monsters?"
"Sure," said Naruto. "Though not all monsters are the sort that require hunting. I remember running into this kappa..."
"I might as well just go out and buy a red shirt, hadn't I?" asked Kyon.
"Eh? No, I wouldn't suggest red," said Naruto. "Brown or grey maybe. Something with lots of pockets. You strike me as more of a scholar than a fighter. First we got to find out what you're good at."
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(Posted Fri, 30 Sep 2011 16:56)
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