Teuchi smirked. "I wouldn't have guessed that from the number of bowls you put away."
Jiraiya shrugged with one shoulder. "You should have seen what he did in that one Netherworld. Their Academy had a cultural festival, and there was a ramen booth."
"Hey, that doesn't count!" responded Naruto. "I had to deal with that and it was dangerous!"
"How was a ramen stand dangerous?" asked Teuchi.
"It came out of the pot and started attacking everyone," stated Naruto.
"Truly, it was an Evil Academy," noted Jiraiya.
"Anywhere the ramen goes looking for its own ingredients, that's a bad place to be," agreed Naruto.
"Right," said Teuchi, thinking the two were probably using some sort of code due to a classified mission.
"Made it one heck of a training mission though," said Jiraiya. Naruto snorted. "Yeah. Ranma loved it."
"So you had some good training?" asked Teuchi.
"Yeah," said Naruto. "Some good training, some bad training, some hard training."
"Got that right," said Jiraiya. "Oh, and by the way, I owe you something for mentioning some of my new jutsu in front of Tsunade."
"What are you gonna do about it, Pervy Sensei?" asked Naruto, turning towards Jiraiya's seat. Which was currently occupied by a tanuki statue. "Eh?"
"That's forty-seven bowls of ramen, six teas, and a plate of potstickers," announced Teuchi, holding up the bill.
"EH?!" asked Naruto.
flashback:
"Oh crap," said Ranma as he realized that a momentary pang of homesickness while dimensional jaunting had not been the best move he could have made.
"Prepare yourself Ranma!" proclaimed his gi-clad father, leaping onto a bamboo pole.
"Nope, not going through THIS again," said Ranma, looking over the setup. Jusenkyo. THAT day. He'd time traveled again. What a pain!
"Now, Ranma I... what?" asked Genma, momentarily drawn out of his plans as he noticed something. "How did you shrink?"
"Age got screwed with," said Ranma. "Again."
"Whatever, stop playing around," said Genma, pointing to the tops of some of the other bamboo poles.
Ranma easily flipped up to the top, then took a stance. "Old man. You really don't want to do this."
"YAAAAAAAAAA! OY TOH SHO!" declared the attacking Genma. He leapt, unleashing a powerful combination attack.
Ranma casually backhanded him.
Genma shot off like a pachinko ball, slamming into a cliff face, bouncing away, hitting another rock and ricocheting off that, and finally arcing up into the air.
Ranma vanished from the pole he was on, blurring into position away from the springs.
KER SPLASH!
A panda floated up to the top of the pool of water.
Ranma turned, put his hands up behind his head, and merrily walked away from Jusenkyo. Why go through all that again if he didn't have to?
'Now:'
"Lo, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of idiocy, I fear no stupidity, because I can kick its' ass."
Genma stopped and stared at his son. "Why were you looking at me when you said that?"
"No reason," said Ranma.
"Ah," said Genma, not entirely sure of this.
"So, you're saying we should swim back to Japan," said Ranma. "Despite that any cold water gets on you - you turn into an endangered species that people keep trying to catch and send off to a captive breeding program?"
"It's martial arts training!" insisted Genma.
"Fine," said Ranma. "Race you there."
"Ha! Your old man can beat you..." Genma's voice trailed off as Ranma went running across the top of the water.
"Last one there pays the food bills," yelled Ranma over his shoulder.
Genma stared for a moment at the rapidly distancing Ranma, his mouth open to make a sarcastic reply that never came.
Ranma smirked once he was sufficiently far away from his father. This was just flying while going through the motions of running, but he was SO freaking out the people on the boats he was passing.
Not that he couldn't do the water-walking and tree-climbing stuff. Once you learned flying though, both the version of the Crane School and the more efficient (and more importantly - faster) technique that the Namek used - those pretty much fell to the wayside.
Ranma reached international waters quickly enough, then switched to full flight.
Heh. He might be back at the point where he was going to be dragged to Japan and meet the Tendos for the first time all over again - but there was no reason he had to follow the same pattern.
No, Ranma didn't see a reason to reveal all he could do, but he also didn't see a reason he had to repeat everything either.
Konohagakure:
Jiraiya yawned and stretched before beginning a set of pre-breakfast exercises.
Once completed, he could consider how best to spend his efforts for the day. Perhaps he could rebuild the moon with an advertisement for his best-selling series of novels? No, too problematic.
Kyouen Kyo was exactly as he remembered it. Many people would pass by the little eatery, judging it by the faded sign and worn-looking appearance of the counter and wooden seats. The young girl at the counter was new, but under the age of what he normally would flirt with - even when he was engaging in the harmless/meaningless sort of flirtation.
It was the food though - that kept the locals that knew about the place coming. It wasn't that the taste was especially great or breathtaking, but it was cheap and plentiful and of at least good quality.
Ever since Naruto had made that wish, Jiraiya had found himself eating amounts that would draw the respect of an Akimichi. Nothing compared to what Goku, Ranma, and a few others could do - but pretty ridiculous by the standards of most people around them.
Pickles, rice, miso, and some particularly strong tea was the traditional shinobi morning meal. Unless you were in the field, in which case improvisation was the menu.
After paying the bill, it was a quick Instant Move (better range than shunshin) to go to the publisher's office and drop off a few manuscripts dealing with the continuation of the Icha Icha series.
After that he'd just Instant Movement to Suna and see if they wanted access to the ocean. Perhaps he could remove a few mountains or something. Had to get the mass to rebuild the moon from something after all.
"-so when we died we ended up in this place called the Netherworld," said Naruto. "Anyway, we ended up in Evil Academy where they stuck me in as a student and I had to go through all kinds of hell to get back out again."
"How could a school be that bad?" asked Sakura.
"Zombie teachers," replied Naruto, ticking off points on his fingers. "Homicidal plants, fireball-throwing hall monitors, minefields in the track area, some succubus teacher that really really loved 'punishing' students way too much, explosive penguin critters, books that tried to eat your face..."
"Yeah, right," said Sakura, clearly skeptical. "So you flunked?"
"Nah, they made me an honor student," said Naruto.
vorp! went a blur that resolved into Jiraiya.
"About time you showed up," practically growled Tsunade.
"Suna was attacked by two members of Akatsuki," said Jiraiya. "The formal request for assistance should be arriving by carrier-hawk in a few hours."
"What?!" asked Sakura, Shizune, and Tsunade.
"So what were you telling them about?" asked Jiraiya.
"Evil Academy," said Naruto.
"Did you tell them about the time you failed a math test so badly that you caused the laws of physics to warp?" asked Jiraiya.
"No," admitted Naruto.
"You should, that was really a remarkable accomplishment," said Jiraiya. "Not everyone can suck that badly at math."
"Back up," demanded Tsunade, trying not to think about Demon Schools and ripping the basic fabric of space through sheer incompetence. "What was this about Suna?"
"Oh, the official message was already sent, I just popped over to talk to the Kazekage," said Jiraiya. "Except he'd been kidnapped. Did you know that Gaara was their new Kazekage?"
"Yes, in fact his sister Temari is here in the village coordinating with us regarding an upcoming chunin exam," responded Tsunade. "Shizune, go find her. I think she's staying at the Nara compound."
"Gaara made Kage?" asked Naruto, before grinning and pumping a fist. "Now I've got to make Hokage!"
"As soon as the formal request for aid is received, we can go there." Jiraiya shrugged. "Might want to pack a few things."
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(Posted Sat, 19 May 2012 18:01)
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