"Yes, Exorcist, first level female samurai," said Mao absently. "Go practice your sword and bow skills."
"But... I'm a GIRL?!"
"That's already established," asked Mao, looking up in irritation. "Continue to bother me and you'll end up a prinny."
Naruto looked over at the weird penguin dudes that were doing all the low level flunkie work. "Okay, that might be even worse."
"d00d, if you can avoid being a prinny, I'd really suggest you do that," said a prinny walking by with a mop and bucket. "Being blown up, it sucks d00d. It really does."
Naruto backed away, thinking that maybe this wasn't a really good time to annoy the crazy kid.
Naruto stared into the full length mirror. The girl shown stared back.
Really long black hair tied into a ponytail. Dark eyes. An open white jacket with very wide sleeves. Chest binding that was actually sort of a bikini top, leaving the slender belly completely exposed in a way that made darn little sense for a front line fighter type. Red hakama-sorta-skirt. Split-toed socks and sandals.
"This sucks," said Naruto, who decided that the girl was actually fairly cute if you ignored the pointy ears and that it was him.
"It's temporary though," said a now-familiar voice. "You can get reincarnated back, eventually. I think the main reason he stuck you in THAT form is that you can learn bow and sword skills faster."
"Eh?" asked Naruto, turning and recognizing Asuka Cranekick. Who looked almost identical to himself.
"Lord Mao is an excellent rival for my lady," said Asuka cheerfully. "While he revels in the role of the 'mad scientist' type, he rarely wastes resources. Here."
Naruto blinked dully at the equipment being laid out. "Uhh."
"We'll be entering an Item World in about twenty minutes," said Asuka. "Better get ready."
"How much longer?" asked Naruto.
"Well, let's see," said Raspberyl, checking her watch and eyeing the clock on the wall. "According to my calculations... you've been levelling as a samurai-ko for about seven years, five months, and three days."
"WHAT?!" asked Naruto, understandably a bit miffed.
"Oh, and that herbal shampoo? It really brings out the highlights in your hair," said Raspberyl.
"I was trying to get slime spatter out," pointed out Naruto.
"Yeah, that stuff's really good for that, and it has a nice scent too!" agreed Raspberyl.
"Haven't I been a chick long enough?" asked Naruto.
"Probably," agreed Asuka Cranekick, at her lady's side as she usually was.
"I doubt it," countered Kyoko Needleworker, eyeing the young lady samurai. "You've only advanced in sword and bow skills to a minor extent. I think Lord Mao should consider making you a kunoichi next."
"No way," declared Naruto, stamping her foot and looking very put upon. "There is absolutely no WAY I'm going to be a kunoichi! No way! No how! Not gonna happen!"
"I see," came a chuckling comment from the open doorway.
"Oh hell," said Naruto.
"It's your own fault, you know."
"You've been saying that since the last time I got reincarnated."
"It bears repeating," said Raspberyl. "Besides, you make a cute kunoichi."
"You think so?" asked Naruto, blushing briefly then shaking her head. "That is SO not the point."
"No, the point is that you run your mouth, then you get in trouble, and then you complain about it," pointed out Raspberyl. "Honestly, if it weren't for the fascination that Mao has for playing with a 'real ninja hero type' - I don't think you'd ever get reincarnated. Just left to a cold grave on some battlefield."
"I don't know about that, Milady," offered Asuka. "Lord Mao rarely wastes a resource, especially one he's gone through so much trouble levelling."
"That's a good point," allowed Raspberyl.
Naruto sighed. "So what am I supposed to learn here?"
"Probably fist techniques and ninja skills," said Kyoko.
"I'm really beginning to hate that guy."
Raspberyl shook her head. "Oh come on. You knew he was like that when you tried to prank him. I've known Mao for years, but even if I just knew him for hours I could have predicted how he'd react to you adding Super Bondo Adhesive to his toilet seat."
"I think it was the Bowel Blaster that did it," offered Kyoko. "Had it merely been gluing him to the toilet seat, it might have merely been a good prank worthy of a honor student."
"Besides, it's not like you've never been a girl before," noted Raspberyl.
"Indeed," said Asuka, reaching over to straighten Naruto's hair. "Will you require me to give you The Talk again?"
"The less said about that the better," said Raspberyl, noting that Naruto had frozen in place.
"It is SO good to be a guy again!" noted Naruto, thumping his chest and looking quite proud of himself.
"How many of your acquired skills were you able to bring to this incarnation?" asked Asuka.
"Uhm, lessee," said Naruto, using the quick cantrip for Status reading. "Most of 'em, it's just I've lost levels."
"Oh, well, we can't have that," said a sinister-sounding voice.
"Mao?" asked Raspberyl, looking around.
"Ah, the invisibility potion does work," said Asuka.
"Other than spying though, it's pretty much useless," said Mao. "You can't equip anything or attack, otherwise it drops."
"Mao? This is MY room, and you're naked in it?" asked Raspberyl.
"Oh. Hmmmm."
There was the sound of running feet.
"It is apparently also useful for escapes," noted Asuka.
"So, Diaz Gentlemen, we meet at last," said Mao. "My calculations were as flawless as always."
"I am SO ready for this!" said Naruto.
POP!
"Mao?" asked Raspberyl. "Was there anything in your calculations about one of your ninja vanishing?"
"Uhm," said Mao, who had NOT factored in one of his minions vanishing at the start of the battle. "He's a ninja hero after all. He's probably sneaking around the battlefield, looking for the perfect chance to get all backstabby. Bwahahahahahaha!"
The Diaz Gentlemen didn't believe that. Their troops however began launching attacks at what they felt were likely concealment points.
"Whatever works," muttered Mao as he began deploying minions now that the forces had been drawn out somewhat.
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(Posted Tue, 17 Jul 2012 17:07)
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