[Episode 256331] [Episode 256331]Tolitiir yawned as he sat on the manga and moved his butt into a more comfortable position, grinding the offending art work into the ground. He took a deep sigh and replied in a bored tired tone, “You were having trouble with a genjutsu that one of your private tutors had recently shown you. Hinata took it upon herself to ask Mizuki about it. He convinced her to have a private meeting with you. You were ecstatic at Hinata’s news and that night slipped away from your guards by pranking them with the old glue on the floor after the room gets hit with a stink bomb prank.”
Despite the grim situation Naruto grinned at his other self’s antics. He loved that prank. Especially if the glue is mixed with fake dog poo with the really sticks to your hand smell ™ “He drugged the other you with a 'chakra enhancing potion' and took your, uh, his head.”
As if sensing the mood around it, the fire went down to a dull glow. The solemn blond took a stick and started to poke the dying embers. “Mizuki then henged to look like you and was able to convince Hinata that you two had met already. Told her that he couldn't figure out a darn thing to help her friend. He promised to look into it and insisted that she should go home before she was missed. After that he walked out the village gates to fame and fortune.”
“So Jiji was right,” Naruto said in a hushed voice, “there really were enemies that wanted me dead. Jiji. I never should have doubted you.” After taking a few calming breaths he asked, “Does it show what happened to Hinata and Sasuke? They're ok right?”
“Well Hinata became so withdrawn that she stopped going to class. Poor girl blamed herself for your death. She died when the village was attacked. Crushed by a rampaging snake, I'm afraid. The invasion leveled most of the village and it would be decades before the Hidden Leaf would be able to recover, if ever.” Tolitiir raised a butt cheek and flipped open the manga.
“Let's see, Sasuke trained hard and told everyone that there were two men that he wanted dead. His brother and whoever killed you. He started to hate the village when it was discovered that Mizuki did the deed. It proved to him that the village was weak and couldn't protect anything.” The cat flipped through a few more pages and then continued, “Orochimaru sought him out during the chunin exams and promised him strength through that curse mark of his. Sasuke told him that he needed to get ‘stronger now’ and would willingly go with him. The surprised Snake Sannin agreed. His team then....”
“Damn it Sasuke!” Naruto finally sputtered out as he reached his limit, “You’re still a traitor to our village!”
“Well after your other self’s death he thought that there really wasn’t anything of worth to him in the village.”
“And my other self,” Naruto continued over the cat’s commentary, “still couldn't make a difference. Maybe somebody else should have had the fox. I bet if mister rookie of the year had the fox sealed in him then everybody would be alive and happy.”
“Let's see what happened then,” the cat replied as the manga he was sitting on disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When the smoked cleared Naruto saw that the god was looking at his empty paws in surprise.
“Where is it?” A confused Naruto asked as he scanned the area. He glanced up and saw a page fluttering around the campfire. The page flittered about and defied his attempts to capture it. He nabbed it right before the remaining flames could take it with a jump that almost landed HIM among the hot embers. The page turned out to be a very very thin manga. It pretty much consisted of a folded cover and back. He opened it slowly up with trepidation. Toltiir grew tall enough so he could look over his shoulder. “Not amusing at all,” the large feline said after a bit.
“Sasuke released the seal when Mizuki told him he was the fox? I'm eaten by the fox when its rampage destroys the village?! How could he screw up so bad, heck, I could have done better. Wait, I DID do better than he did,” he yelled as he turned to the elder god and stopped in shock.
Toltiir was holding a very large bazooka in his paw. He gulped as he duly noted the tube of death had a barrel as large as his head. He might not have known what that device was, but everything about it screamed that he was on the wrong end of whatever it was. The cat turned away and fired at a running shadowy figure that was brandishing a large pair of scissors. A near miss still clipped the figure with the explosion and sent it rocketing into the air.
The elder god slowly took three steps back and one to the side and opened up a portal just where the smoking remains landed. He then threw in several large economy tins of SPAM and a holy hand grenade and toed the scissor into the hole as it closed.
“Sorry about that. Looks like a thread killer was invading,” he apologized as he tossed the spent weapon behind him where it vanished. “Having the last Uchiha as the container of the Kyubi was a bust. You said you could do better. I'm betting you could. Maybe if we switch this about. Yes!” The mini manga burned away and a great phone book of a manga dropped on top of the fire, putting it out. “Do you feel up to the challenge of being the last Uchiha?”
“The last Uchiha?” Naruto parroted. “You mean I'll go through what Sasuke went through just now?”
“Well not quite. That time he had to deal with the whole clan killing thing and everybody hating him as the fox. This time he'll be the son of Minato and just have the fox in the box thing going.” The cat, now dressed in blue jammies, looked at the giant manga. In a puff of smoke there was a 3D HD TV in its place. He slipped on a pair of glasses and held up a similar pair to Naruto. Eagerly he asked, “So what do you think? Want to do it? I think it sounds amusing.”
“I'll do it!” He yelled as he put on the pair of glasses. He wasn’t sure what they were for, but they did look good on the cat. “I'll show everyone that Naruto Uzumaki can be a better Uchiha.” The elder god smirked and nodded. There wasn't many times in eternity did that line show up.
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(Posted Wed, 19 Sep 2012 07:22)
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