This got a few looks from others in the Akatsuki hideout, it being atypical of his normal behavior.
When he put both elbows onto the table, then plopped his head down into those hands - well, it was just all the more something you would not expect of Orochimaru.
Kisame stepped close. "Shikoro?"
An inarticulate noise that might have been a sob.
"You didn't try to work on her head again, did you?" asked Kisame, noting the twitching of various muscle groups - particularly in the neck.
"Yes," whispered Orochimaru, barely audible.
Kisame tsked repeatedly. "Okay, she was a jonin from Cloud - merciless, clever, known for being especially bloodthirsty and cruel. Might have made a good recruit except she was assigned to infiltrate us and we heard about it. So you caught her and worked her over."
"Yes, Tobi remembers!" chirped up Tobi from where he was sitting. "Tobi thinks Orochi-kun didn't get everything right. Did Orochi-kun make another boo-boo?"
"Some day, I will kill that little freak."
"Oh," said Kisame. "I dunno. I don't think she's that bad."
"I wasn't talking about Shikoro. I CAN'T kill her."
Kisame nodded. "Good that you remember the boss wants her around."
"No, I mean I can't kill her," said Orochimaru. "I made her immortal."
"Immortal?" asked Kisame, noting that everyone else present was listening.
"I've tried snake poisons, blades, beheading, blunt trauma." Orochimaru's head came up. "And I have no idea HOW I made her immortal! She just keeps going and going and going and going..."
There was just silence following that for several minutes.
"Otenmaru-kun," began Tobi.
The growl from Orochimaru sounded somewhat insane.
"Orochimaru, Tobi means," corrected Tobi. "Tobi is thinking Pain-sama is really going to want to speak with you."
"Uhm yeah, Tobi might be speaking out of turn," said Kisame. "But Tobi is a good boy - he's certainly right about that."
Sasori just shook his head. "Do you remember when Akatsuki was a group of S-Class criminals? Nowadays I feel as if I have somehow joined a comedy troupe."
"Orochi-kun?" asked Tobi. "Did you know your Akatsuki robes have pink hearts and blue moons on them?"
"Look! See we can do LOTS better!" said Shikoro. "I redid his Akatsuki robes. Now he has crescent moons and shamwows..."
"Shamrocks," corrected Konan, finding herself twitching.
"Shamrocks, hearts, horseshoes, and stars!" pointed out Shikoro.
"Did you do ALL of his robes, Shikoro?" asked Konan.
"Not yet," said Shikoro.
"Well, you really need to get to it then," said Konan, deciding that would keep the little idiot busy for awhile.
"Aye aye sir!"
Konan blinked then decided it would be best NOT to ask. Then an impulse came up. "Maybe you should add rainbows too."
"Yeah!" said the enthusiastic Shikoro.
Pain frowned as Orochimaru's minion skipped out of the room. "He's going to look..."
"Yes?" asked Konan.
"Are you still upset about him putting his tongue in your ear?" asked Pain. "He was aiming at the crepes."
"MY crepes," Konan reminded Pain. "And no, I'm not upset at all."
Pain wasn't sure why, but he was pretty sure she WAS upset. Still. Oh well.
BOOM! went the door to the management offices.
"JI-RA-I-YA!"
"Not here," said some girl before pointing at the door. "Those cost money you know!"
Tsunade blinked and stared at an eight-year-old girl standing there and apparently ignoring the killing intent washing through the room. "Where IS he then?"
"Konohagakure, he'll be back next week," said the little girl. "He was called away abruptly. Something about Tomoe Tiger."
"What is he doing NOW?!" growled Tsunade as she pictured various lewd things happening in the story.
"Like I should tell you, you're not even sorry about breaking the door!" scolded the little girl.
Tsunade walked forward and finger-flicked the girl.
"OW!"
Tsunade frowned as Shizune cautiously arrived behind her. Not a henge - which would have dispelled. So a real little girl. "And you are?"
"I was put in charge of the office while my Auntie got lunch!" proudly declared the little girl, rubbing her forehead.
"Your Aunt, eh? Who is she?" asked Tsunade, planning to get details of Jiraiya's location from whoever the wretch was.
"Tomoe Tiger," said the little girl.
"Eh?" asked Tsunade.
"Your Aunt is an anthropomorphic white tiger samurai girl?" asked Shizune, figuring that she must have missed a LOT while dealing with the trail of destruction Lady Tsunade had left behind.
The little girl nodded and went to a folder that was sitting prominently on a desk. "See?"
Tsunade took the folder, flipped it open, and ignored Shizune looking over her shoulder.
Sure enough there was a photograph of a woman holding a bokuto and paper-clipped to it was a line-drawing of Tomoe Tiger dressed similarly (though the photo had foam armor and the drawing had more realistic-looking armor) and holding a katana. Another similar pairing of photo and drawing showed a naginata being used to deliver a strike, a third using a bow, and a fourth had the subject sitting in a seiza position.
"So, your Aunt is Tomoe Tiger?" asked Tsunade.
"I just said that," complained the little girl.
"Excuse me, I... oh hell," said an unfamiliar voice.
"Auntie!" exclaimed the little girl.
Holding two box-lunches in her hands was the woman in the photograph. Who was staring at Tsunade and looked about ready to break down in a panic attack.
"Tell me where Jiraiya is and I'll leave," said Tsunade.
"Konohagakure," replied the woman, her voice a little shaky as if she expected imminent violence.
"What? Did he know I was coming?" asked Tsunade.
"No, if he'd known when you were coming, he'd have evacuated the studios and moved everything fragile away," said the girl, taking a step back as Tsunade had raised her voice.
"Why does everyone act as if I'm going to unleash violence on everyone that gives me an answer I don't like?" asked Tsunade.
"Well, it could be that you're known as an alcoholic and a gambling addict, and those two qualities are not known to be associated with great self-control," noted the woman with the lunches. "Or it could be that when you lost a bet in Nodoru Village and they demanded you pay up - you smashed your way through the city."
"It wasn't that they demanded pay, it was the payment they demanded," countered Tsunade.
"Mugi Mura?" asked the woman.
"That one wasn't exactly Lady Tsunade's fault," said Shizune.
"Rosuto Toshi?"
"Never been there, it couldn't have been me," said Tsunade.
"Jouzousho Mura?"
"I don't remember that one either," said Tsunade.
"Uhm that was the village of breweries where they made a beer so dark-brown that you polished off a case of it, then claimed to be talking to the man of the moon and watching silverware dance," said Shizune.
"Oh, there," said Tsunade. "Well, maybe."
Read the comments on this episode
(Posted Sat, 20 Jul 2013 16:45)
Questions? Problems? Suggestions?
Send a mail to addventure@bast-enterprises.de
or use the contact form.
らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
All other series and their characters are © by their respective creators or owners. No claims of ownership of these characters are implied by the authors of this Addventure, or should be inferred.
The Anime Addventure is a non-profit site.