Basu Teruka didn’t consider himself all that special a person. Growing up, he wasn’t as physically adept as his peers and definitely not as well as his father, a hard-working famer, would have liked. In fact, Basu had been reprimanded more than he’d like to remember growing up, being told to take his head out of the clouds and focus on the world around him. But Basu couldn’t help it; for him life was all about discovery. He didn’t just see the plow and the field, he saw what happened when you shaped the earth, the growth of plants... for him, the act of creation was what drew his attention and held it, and further pushed him to express himself in an effort to change the world around him.
He left his home in the Land of Vegetables at the young age of fourteen; as a number of friends had. Unlike those who sought to strike it rich and make something important of themselves, the young brunette merely wanted to experience. He wanted to see the world, its people, trek through new terrains, try new cuisine and make sweet, sweet loving to exotic women. Surprisingly—even to Basu himself—it was a dream that he was able to accomplish bit by bit easier than even he expected, especially since it helped him find his calling. The young Teruka Clansman’s travels in Kawa no Kuni brought him to Takumi Village, the village of Artisans.
Takumi was known for its artistry and quality of its crafted weaponry, many of which had been sold to the various ninja villages of the world. But over time, their clientele from the other villages grew in skill, making the surplus of crafted weapons unneeded and changed the focus of many people’s craft. Writing, drawing, painting, sculpting, carving, weaving, blacksmithing: skills that could continue to earn a living as well as allow an outlet to express oneself. Basu took to the village like a fish to water, being able to enjoy himself as he learned and realizing what he wanted out of life. Creation and expression were what drove him as a child, and now that there were masters who recognized such talents, Basu was able to flourish! Sure, there was the occasional grumbling of a resentful villager or ten who felt the hidden ninja villages didn’t respect them for all the help their weapons provided in the past, but that was something he could easily overlook. He didn’t care for the past; the young man looked to the future!
Once he felt his skill was more than adequate, it was a nineteen-year-old Basu Teruka who picked up and left the Land of Rivers to share his skills with the world... sadly, many of the Elemental Countries weren’t that open to the freedom of expression but fortunately, he was able to find a place to call home during his exploration of Hi no Kuni. Basu nestled into the small settlement of Nigori, a recently-established town that was centered around a series of naturally occurring hot-springs which were being used as a bathhouse business. There was something so nostalgic about its simplicity yet exciting about its potential that kept the young man around. He wrote songs to woo the local ladies, drew pictures to earn some coin, and even wrote a couple of children’s books in the hope of earning enough to buy a house down the line, stories primarily of his character ‘Usako the Lucky Bunny’. Basu wasn’t making much in the way money, but he was more than content with his life, being able to do what he enjoyed most: be creative. Honestly, he would’ve been fine with the life of a starving artist if he hadn’t come across Jiraiya.
Oh, Jiraiya... he could still remember the day that man, his future business-partner and fellow creative soul came into his life. Basu had been sitting underneath a tree, trying to come up with a worthwhile sonnet for the female owner of the local inn when all of a sudden a tall man with waist-length, spiky white hair tied back into a pony tail, red lines running down his face from the bottom of his eyes, and a noticeable wart on the left side of his nose appeared out of literal thin air! Decked in a horned forehead protector with the kanji for ‘oil’ and wearing a green short shirt kimono and matching pants—under which he had mesh-net armor—Basu KNEW he was in the presence of a ninja! He’d immediately freaked out, having expected the man to assassinate him—Lady Midori’s fiancé DID mention he’d put a hit out for him if the bard wrote his woman another sonnet—but he calmed down quickly when the man started demanding his help instead. Introducing himself as the Toad Sage and author of, “The Gutsy Ninja” the white-haired nin explained that he was looking into creating a children’s book of his own and would have appreciated the younger man’s experience.
Honestly? It had scared him at first, appearing from seemingly nowhere but the offer to work on another book with another experienced—and in Basu’s opinion, very imaginative—writer was very intriguing. He didn’t know much about ninja life, but he was willing to learn; for a Jounin of the greater hidden villages, Jiraiya had been surprisingly open with him about ninja life and style; all the in’s and out’s. A mere three weeks’ collaboration between the two of them brought forth an illustrated children’s book that both were proud of, “Ninja Mouse: Wanderer’s Rest”. It was an adventure story that taught the morals of being true to yourself and your values, protecting those precious to you, and being willing to make sacrifices so that those who followed—be they your allies or the next generation—would be just as willing to be responsible and equally ready to do the right thing as you had been.
And to think, from that one story of a little mouse Abukunai, the temperamental waterfowl Dobe, the trio of bungling felines Nyasu, Kyojiro, and Musashi, and the introduction of the Hidden Treasure Village would change Basu’s life forever. The book turned out to be popular... incredibly popular. More so than a children’s book had any right to! Sure, he and Jiraiya had taken a somewhat more adult route but not having the book talk down to its readers, but it the sheer amount of adults that fell I love with Abukunai the Ninja Mouse was positively mind-boggling! Money was flowing their way en masse; numbers higher than Basu would have even dared of dreaming, with Jiraiya’s publishers demanding more ASAP!
Basu didn’t get his hopes up. He was excited that he was allowed to express his creative side and that people appreciated it but he didn’t think it would last. People’s taste tended to change. Surely, after the second book, the popularity would wane and he could get back to working on his music—albeit with a nice nest egg for his later years in life.
Well... surprise, SURPRISE! Eleven books, (with a twelfth on the way) a two-and-a-half hour animated musical movie based on the first three volumes, three-dozen t-shirt designs, eight plushies, plans for an animated television series and a new style of toy called an ‘action figure’, and more than two hundred employees working to make this all reality later, Jiraiya and he were some of the most highly regarded men in the Land of Fire. Why, they were even receiving visits from foreign delegations and heads of state!
Not bad for the son of a potato farmer.
As it stood, their current visitor was one General Mifune Toshiro. A distinguished warrior and gentleman with a gray goatee and moustache, along with long hair a lighter gray which almost reached down to his waist—and the odd choice of bandages wrapped around his head—the man was much older than either her OR Jiraiya! He looked over the two of them with piercing black eyes, still menacing despite the distinct wrinkles underneath them. The man was decked in a simple but quality kimono of purple silk and sandals. But what caught Basu’s attention was that while the man was decked in his garb of office rather than the battlefield, around his waist he still wore a belt which had a sheathed sword attached to it: the Kurosawa. Still, he didn’t need to be armored as he was escorted by an entourage of four soldiers; samurai in full battle regalia. Neither of the men were surprised by such a show of force as the head of Tetsu no Kuni’s bodyguards.
“So, Mifune-san...” Jiraiya spoke, breaking Basu out of his reverie. “What brings you to Hi no Kuni? Last we met, you were quite busy readying your soldiers for the winter training...”
Chuckling, the man closed his eyes as he nodded his head. “True enough. But it’s nearly always winter training up in Tetsu no Kuni; the summer months being the time of year we see anything besides snow. And since we are currently in a time of peace, I felt this was a good an opportunity as any to oversee some of our initiates on their first assignment. Your Daimyo put in an order for some of our ore and I came along as a guarantee the shipment would arrive safely.”
Nodding his head, the Toad Sage grinned. “And to check out others things, I’ll bet. So... what did you think of the movie?”
Considering that for a moment, the older samurai stroked his beard with his right hand, lost in thought. “To be honest, it was a bit heavy on the music...”
“HEY!” came the indignant cry of Teruka from off to the side. He then let off a little ‘eep’ as a quartet of the samurai acting as the aged warrior’s entourage glared at him for speaking out of turn.
Mifune merely gave the man a sad glare, before refocusing on Jiraiya. “A bit high-strung, isn’t he?”
Nodding his head in agreement, Jiraiya chuckled a bit. “Yes, he is. But I imagine your opinion might carry a bit more weight with him, than say the locals at the bars.”
“Indeed,” the samurai nodded in understanding. “But he should toughen his skin a bit. It would not do for the quality of your stories to be altered, because one of the creative influences might be influenced by outside opinion.”
Chuckling again, Jiraiya nodded, slapping Teruka on the back, and knocking the man forward enough to be even with the Sannin. “So true; but you are forgetting that beforehand, he only had to worry about the attention of the paramours for the women he sang to.”
Gulping nervously, Basu had to nod his head in agreement, “And meeting my rent deadlines... not that such is a problem anymore...” oh no, he owned a number of buildings now. Like Jiraiya, he’d taken to travelling about for inspiration. “But my friend is right. You’re a very powerful man, Toshiro-sama... you’re the leader of the one country NO Hidden Village will mess with, so what you say is rather important, even to a lowly artisan such as myself.”
Surprisingly enough, Mifune snorted in dismissal. “Please! Don’t second-guess yourself. Your stories are very good, and while I may personally feel there were a more songs than needed, they were still clearly enjoyable—I rather liked, ‘Wish Upon a Ninja Star’...”
Basu perked up considerably. That had been the main piece of the picture, and to hear that such a serious man liked it was reassuring.
“I will admit though, I loved what you did with Tomoe...” he sighed wistfully. “I just hope we will get to see more of her soon... it was quite refreshing for myself to teach Jiraiya about the ways of my land, people, and Bushido. His insight and new perspective was refreshing, and both sides are prevalent in the tigress. It really makes her quite popular back home.”
Okay, he wasn’t one that would try and force his hand to make someone do something for him and he would most certainly NEVER force the young man to change his plans for the samurai’s taste... that still didn’t mean that Mifune couldn’t let the two know about his favorite.
“Understood,” Jiraiya replied with a smile, making a mental note to never take Tomoe Tiger out-of-character. Inspiration was a fickle thing.
Besides, he didn’t want some international incident going off, because people thought he was trying to make political statements with their work. For one thing, Basu would never survive a newbie Genin from even the most inept of villages.
Second, it would just invite other rulers or people of power to try and ‘offer’ their own ‘advice’. And keeping an audience was hard enough without inviting such things that could rip apart a plot, let alone the basis for their created universe.
“I will ask one thing, something that has come to my attention recently, that I must be hard-set upon,” Mifune nodded, focusing on the two writers.
“Depends on what it is,” the Toad Sannin carefully responded in a guarded fashion.
“Well,” Mifune stated, looking off to the side. “I have heard how there have been complaints by former... shall we say, associates of yours... people who seem to believe that your characters are nothing but outright rip-offs of themselves.”
To that, Jiraiya snorted in annoyance. “Words gets around, doesn’t it?”
“Well, you of all people should know what they say about ninja villages and their secrets...” the General replied. He understood the pains and complications of loose lips all too well.
Nodding his head, Jiraiya replied, “Right... that there’s no such thing... at least until you seal the leak permanently.”
“...I accidentally learned the secret recipe to Happy Ninja Fried Chicken once,” Basu humbly interjected, confirming what Jiraiya said. “But then the woman who was running the cash register hit me with a genjutsu. Now whenever I try to recall it I—OH! My shoes are untied!” the artisan suddenly interjected, compelled to look at his... sandals...
Raising an eyebrow, Mifune turned back to the older of the two co-creators of Abukunai. “Be that as it may, perhaps you should shift focus to those two for a bit... perhaps showing them off without Abukunai. Present them them in a setting OTHER than the ninja life for a moment, prove that the characters being complained about have other skills and therefore not a direct parody of someone.”
Jiraiya just stared at the older man. “Like what? Put Tomoe and Otenmaru in a version of Tetsu no Kuni?” he replied with a snort.
“Well, since you so generously offer, we’d be GLAD to help in any way possible with such a project...” the wily samurai tactician answered with a grin.
“...Of course you would,” Jiraiya offered with a forced smile.
“And of course,” Mifune continued with a more genuine grin. “Should say, one of those characters happen to have people thinking of me, I would like to be preemptive about that as well.” Left unsaid was, ‘at least more preemptive than your teammates had been’.
Jiraiya just blinked at that, as Basu continued to hum a song while pretending to tie his sandals. “Well, while I can’t say such a character may or may not exist in the future, I will respectfully listen to whatever suggestions you may or may not offer for such a character.”
“Damn it,” muttered Shidori from the side, looking into her satchel. “I knew I should have made more copies of those legal documents.” The last thing she needed was management getting into a huff because someone was suing them over character design being too close to the real deal.
Groaning at the absurdity of all this, the lone ninja in the room shook his head. “Look, if something may, just perhaps, be similar to you in any such a way that is completely accidental... how about a grizzly panda?” Jiraiya offered to the man, hoping that would placate him.
Slowly, Mifune’s right eyebrow raised to his hairline, disappearing underneath his bandages. “...A samurai panda?”
“Well, yeah,” the white-haired ninja blurted out. “Who would believe a panda would know something like... Kung-Fu?”
Blinking his eyes once, twice, the head of Tetsu no Kuni stared at his acquaintance for a long pause before inquiring, “...What is this, ‘Kung-Fu’?”
To that, all Jiraya could do was shrug his shoulders. “No clue; heard about it from a pigtailed redhead when I took her out to a Korean Beef restaurant...” he suppressed a shudder as he remembered that night. The Toad Sage thought it would be cheaper than having her ask for royalties on Ranko the Vixen... and then he learned the hard way that she ate like an Akimichi.
Now Mifune's other eyebrow joined the first underneath his head bandages. “...I’m curious. Where does that come from?”
“...We’re getting off topic here...” the last loyal Sannin to Konohagakure quietly replied, mostly as to not show his own ignorance—seriously, WHERE was this ‘Korea’ place anyway? “But if you’re not apt to us making a very dignified warrior panda... how about a tiger?”
Now that caught the aged samurai’s attention. “A tiger... you mean like Tomoe?”
The engrained-genjutsu having run its course, the younger of the two co-creators could finally add to the conversation. “SURE!” Basu blurted out, getting the attention of both older men and the contingent of samurai bodyguards. “That’s actually a great idea; it could even set the basis for a running joke!”
Tilting his head towards the young artist/musician, Mifune gave him his full attention. “A running joke? What is that?”
“A comical nod to the canon and the fans,” the young Teruka Clansman was quick to answer. “Fans and even coworkers alike have ragged on me for making Tomoe more... um...” he paused as he searched for the right words. “More ‘anatomically correct’ than the others in the series. Perhaps that should be a quirk of the Samurai Tigers in general; strong, serious, and somewhat realistic in a world of more comically proportioned and cuter designs.”
This caught the old man’s attention. He considered this for a moment. “That... that is an interesting concept... so all of the samurai in the world of Abukunai would be tigers?”
“Well, if it helps, tigers are revered in the Land of Fire,” Jiraiya interjected. “Hell, Konoha is famous for its Forest of Death Tigers; largest and most powerful breed in the world entire! Powerful, majestic, large... makes sense as to why the samurai would be much larger than any of the more cartoon-like characters.”
“But is it wise to segregate the people like that?” asked Basu. “I mean, it could raise so many issues.”
“Very similar to the villages, in a way,” Jiraiya offered.
“Yes, but that would be like saying you can only find dark-skinned people in Kumo, or all people from Uzu are redheads... which given local weather climates, one would think that would be a reversed example...” Shidori mumbled as everyone turned to look at her. “...What?” the Secretary snapped. “We’re all thinking it! I’m just the only one with the guts to say it!”
“...I thought you were supposed to be keeping us OUT of legal trouble...” Jiraiya grumbled irritably. And really, tigers more of a clan-style motif, than a village motif anyway...
The woman shrugged. “I am. And I know that General Toshiro won’t be insulted... especially since I gave him a plush Tomoe Tiger earlier.”
Now as everyone turned to the General, the Samurai General suddenly felt a bit smaller in his seat. “...Can you really blame me for being a fan?”
The other four samurai warriors shook their heads; their hands moving to hover protectively over their own satchels... which held Tomoe Tiger Plushies, Collectible Cards, and other assorted merchandise and candies.
“...Fine...” Jiraiya sighed, palming his face. “At least I don’t have to explain how different animals had children together ... wow; who knew you could get away with a lot more plot holes in a children’s story than in a realistic human-based world!? he realized as his hand dropped down from his features. “If need be, we can have some sort of conflict as well between the Tiger clans and the Panda clans.”
“It better not be something bad for our respective honors,” stated Mifune with utmost conviction. “The ways of Bushido are quite clear on many things, and if you chose to use some conflict between those clans, I insist you keep that realistic.”
“Of course,” Jiraiya stated. “We want this to be as realistic and true-to-life as possible.”
Shidori had to bite her tongue to prevent herself from pointing out that there was nothing realistic about Tomoe Tiger’s bust-line. She’d already had to yell at the animators for trying to give her ‘bounce’ during her fights in the movie.
While it was a pain to get off the ground, the side-story, “Tomoe: A Tiger’s Tale” was surprisingly successful, despite its minimal development time. More importantly, it was not just a hit with the civilians and the entirety of Tetsu no Kuni as had been expected. Oh no, the character and the more adult story was being readily accepted amongst a ninja audience as well. All this was evident to the Toad Sage as Shidori was applying smelling salts underneath Basu’s nose. The poor artist/musician/writer had fainted once more; his left foot twitching as he lay sprawled out on the floor.
Apparently, the latest check he’d received had a few zeroes more than the man could mentally cope with and his brain shut down on him, unable to accept the reality that he and Jiraiya were starting to make money comparable to the Daimyos of the much smaller elemental countries.
Still, even as their personal assistant fretted over the gifted younger man, Jiraiya was pleased with his first foray into ‘young adult literature’. Set six years before the events of the first Abukunai book, “Tomoe: A Tiger’s Tale” looked into the life of a much younger—and to Jiraiya’s lament, less developed—Tomoe Tiger, an initiate on the verge of becoming a full-fledged Samurai-ko of Suchiiru no Kuni. The story took place in a village within a large samurai fortress, living up to the fictional country’s name of, ‘The Land of Steel’. Built inside high walls of tempered steel and located in inhospitable tundra terrain, the city prospered in its isolation. No attack by enemy ninja had succeeded for over a hundred years, allowing the Tigers within to practice and enhance their bushido in peace.
It wasn’t completely based on Tetsu no Kuni though; you had to have some plausible deniability. Instead, Jiraiya drew some inspiration from Yuki no Kuni. Even with the unforgiving terrain of snow and ice, various steel towers and canals comprised the samurai city. The canals would run throughout the city, a series of interconnected waterways that would play a crucial part in the nation’s transport and defenses with water-flooding chambers acting as the only entrances into the main city; boats could travel through the gates, and once through, the Tigers would raise the water levels in the gateway, making it impractical and dangerous to swim through.
The first half of the book was introduction to Tomoe and her life of training to be a samurai; all based on information given to him by Mifune for added realism. The young Tigress was given a chance to show she actually had knowledge and used it with ease and practice. This was especially prevalent when she spent her time in the armory located on the training grounds, where weapons and armor were stored and kept in pristine condition—as well as giving insight to what samurai work with—or training with her master Toramasa at the heart of the Suchiiru no Kuni, the Suisei Temple.
The Suisei Temple was at the heart of the story, a lush garden and pond that formed from a meteorite striking the village. According to the backstory he and Basu came up with, a portion of the iron ore from the space rock was used by the blacksmith Shirotora to create a mighty sword, ‘The Comet Blade’ which he used to push back invading forces of the rival samurai tries of the Wolves and Pandas, and eventually use as his symbol when he became the first Shogun of Steel. The sword and the meteor were truly imbued with special powers, made prevalent as while the landscape of the Tigers was either steel or perpetually frozen, the temple itself was an oasis, the waters warm and the confines of the intricate steel building lush with greenery. It was a spiritual place and highly revered by the Tigers; tended to by Tomoe’s sensei, Toramasa.
And then came the meat of the story; invaders from foreign lands. Once again, Jiraiya took inspiration from the real world—and more importantly, something he couldn’t be sued for—and used it as a chance to flesh out his fictional world some more. A group of ninja whom were only a precursor to a much larger criminal group of nuke-nin; a trio whom were out to steal the sword and the meteorite. They sought the iron from space so that they could create weapons of their own, weapons powerful enough to take over their former villages as well as empower their employers. Clad in black cloaks decked with blue crescent moons and hearts, they were Aoirotsuki! Not all of them would be introduced in this, but it gave Jiraiya the start of something to use in later stories. For now, he settled on three.
There was Fukakuro aka ‘Scarface’, a powerful shark nin from the Village Hidden in the Sea. As the muscle of the Blue Moon, the exile from Umigakure stood as the largest character in any of Jiraiya and Basu’s works; taller than adult Tomoe, wider than Gruff McSnarl, and all muscle! With an equally large spike-studded kanabo and a scar over his left eye, he was meant to be an intimidating sight and a challenge.
Next was Angetsu, former hunter nin of Sabakugakure. An assassination and combat specialist, the traitor to the Hidden Desert Village sought greater riches and rewards for his efforts. With the promise of having a most powerful and unbreakable set of garrote wires made that could withstand his claws and poisons, the small but deadly Angetsu joined up with the Blue Moon organization.
And of course, as this was a prequel, and with all the accusations, Jiraiya decided to toss his old teammate a bone. The third member was none other than Otenmaru. The Snake/Lizard/Reptile ninja’s face was hidden by his usual Master Blot mask, however, his full black robes were replaced by the more elaborate set of Aoirotsuki garments; the crescent moons and hearts of cyan prominent on his form...
...As was the shamisen hanging on his back. As much as the Sannin liked to poke fun at his former teammate, plausible deniability was a must! Thus, it was time to introduce a new aspect of Otenmaru: Bard of the Blue Moon! With the ability to cast genjutsu over special chakra capacitor strings, he was the tactician and the perfect support for the two front-line combatants.
With Otenmaru’s skills at deception, the trio would have stolen the meteor and the sword, had it not been for the fact Tomoe had lost yet another spar to her master and so was given the punishment of polishing the meteorite while her sensei attended a meeting at the war room in the armory over a sighting of these same ninja. From a literary stand-point, it was Tomoe’s first experience fighting ninja... and would serve to explain her curiosity in the ninja life and her status as a self-insertion for the reader who also wanted to know more about what was going on in later chapters without having to resort to an idiot... like Dobe.
But to survive such a meeting, Jiraiya brought in someone else, allowing him to lay the seeds for future stories once more. Once more, fans were treated to another entry of Moneybags S. Rickduck aka Uncle Richduck! He was at Suchiiru no Kuni to purchase steel when he caught onto the fact a massive genjutsu had been cast and went straight for the source. Showing skills and seriousness unknown to him until this book, Jiraiya was sure that it would throw fans for a loop.
Needless to say, Tomoe’s life had been saved, Suisei Temple remained standing, and the Meteor and the Hoshitsurugi remained with the samurai tigers. For their part in protecting the Land of Steel from such dangerous Nin, Tomoe was granted her station as a full-fledged samurai... and given the task of being Uncle Rickduck’s bodyguard. After all, he had saved HER life. With the Tigers being so honor-bound, there was a debt to be paid... if it got Tomoe that much more real world experience while protecting the life of the duck merchant-nin, so much the better! It was a happy ending for everyone, really... even Otenmaru, who managed to survive the attacks of the superiorly skilled Uncle Richducks thanks to a cuddly bunny named Mihoshi.
Yes, Jiraiya could be just as vindictive as the Snake Sannin when he wanted to be.
“Yu~uuuuhi~iiiiiiiieeeee-cha~aaaaaaan...” the annoyance that was Kurenai's roommate called into her ear as the recently promoted Chuunin sat on the couch of their shared apartment. “What’cha doin’?” the purple-tressed cherub inquired.
Sighing, the crimson-eyed kunoichi didn’t even look up from her graphic novel. “I’m reading a book, Anko...” she told the ten-year-old who was somehow of a higher pay-grade than her.
“What’cha reading?” she queried as she eyed the orange cover. “Is that an Abukunai book? They always come in orange covers.”
“...Maybe...” the fourteen-year-old said slowly. In truth, it was the latest work, “Tomoe: A Tiger’s Tale”. Truth be told, she was REALLY enjoying it.
Crossing her arms over her flat chest, the ex-apprentice of Orochimaru huffed. “Why do you bother with that stuff anyway? Abukunai is dumb anyway!”
“...What did you say?” Kurenai asked with a snarl, a glare in her eyes, as she lowered her book to stare at her friend; the temperature in the room dropping by at least five degrees. Anko may have just been recovered a few months ago from a village traitor, where she had been experimented upon, but NO ONE made fun of her books!
Rolling her eyes, the girl huffed in a nonchalant manner. “I never got into them,” Anko waved off, so used to leaked Killing Intent from that bastard of a teacher who had trained her that she didn’t notice the danger she was in.
“Well, I can fix that,” came a sickeningly sweet voice that finally alerted Anko to the danger she was in.
“Um... I gotta—”
“For the next seventy-two hours, she shall experience the joys of Abukunai,” Kurenai stated in an authoritative tone, as she placed Anko in a powerful genjutsu.
“...It’s a world of laughter, a world of cheer... it’s a world where nin defend against fear...” the young apprentice mumbled, drool starting to dribble from the left corner of her mouth as the genjutsu worked its magic.
When she was finally free, Anko would point out that not even Orochimaru was THAT cruel!
“How... how dare he...” Tsunade snarled as she gripped the takuban tightly within the grasp of her fists. “HOW DARE HE GIVE ME A BREAST REDUCTION!?”
“Sensei, please!” the fourteen-year-old wailed as she tugged on the hem of the busty blonde Slug Sannin’s gambler’s jacket. “I paid for that with my own money! You’re gonna break it!!”
“You’re damn right I’m gonna break this garbage!” the retired medic nin snarled. “It’s degrading to women!” Herself especially!
And like that, something inside Tsunade snapped. “...Shizune?”
Blinking at how her teacher was no longer fighting her, the apprentice slowly backed away. “Um... yes, Tsunade-sama?”
“I believe I now know what shall erase my fear of blood.”
“Y-you do?” Apprenticed or not, she was about to bug the fuck out of there.
“Yessss...” the woman hissed through her teeth. “BEING COVERED IN THAT PERVERT’S BLOOD AS I RIP HIM TO PIECES FOR THIS!” yelled Tsunade, as the floor boards splintered to nothing and the ground beneath cracked under her.
Trembling as she took a tentative another couple of steps AWAY from her sensei, Shizune helpfully suggested, “Buh-but...” she whimpered. “She’s smaller because she’s younger! It... it’s a prequel!”
Now the blonde went deadly-silent, the killing intent causing many in the bar to go stock-still, fearful of catching the woman’s attention.
Finally, she spoke, “What? So he’s saying he only wanted me when I was YOUNGER!?” she snarled, an artery pulsing powerfully on her head. “SHIZUNE!”
“...” No, Sizune did not piss herself, and she would deny anyone saying otherwise. “Y-yes, Sensei?” she squeaked out.
“THERE WILL BE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!”
“Look, Orochimaru-sama! I’m a bunny!”
The Snake Sannin fought against the eye-twitch that wanted to happen, finding himself doing such much more often than not lately. “No; that doesn’t represent you,” he told her firmly, more to reassure himself than his lackey.
“But I love to hop,” stated the formerly stable kunoichi turned Grade-D+ minion. “See! Hop! Hop! Hop!” she cried as she bounced around his lab.
“...Ninja-Goddamn-it, Jiraiya…” the exiled Konoha nin grumbled irritably. He didn’t want to have to lobotomize her a FOURTH time. He just got Shikoro back to talking in the third person due to Pain’s insistence! He didn’t want to screw that up and have his boss breathing down his neck again! Didn’t help that she was running out of hair to cover the scars either...
“Master Orochimaru!” the former Kumo Kunoichi squealed in delight as she finally stopped hopping so she could thrust the manga into his face. “Look! Otenmaru has a Shami... a sammi... er... a Shamwow! I just KNEW you were the greatest bard in all of the Land of Flowers!”
Twitching irritably, Orochimaru promised, “Sweet, swift vengeance will be mine...”
“Hey! Orochimaru-sama!” the young former Kumo kunoichi chirruped. “Does this mean Akatsuki will start adding hearts to their uniforms too?”
“...No...”
“Pain-sama! Pain-sama!!” the young Uchiha whose identity was hidden by an orange swirl-mask cooed happily. “Look at this!”
Turning his gaze to his subordinate, the former orphan closed his eyes as he felt a migraine coming on. “...Tobi...” the leader of the Red Dawn sighed in exasperation. “You do know that Abukunai is BANNED in Amegakure, right?”
“I do, Pain-sama! And Tobi would never break the rules: Tobi is a GOOD boy! This is a Tomoe Tiger book, no mean mousie at all! And look at this!” he cheered as he shoved the book into the redhead’s face. “Can we add hearts to our uniforms too!?”
“...No...”
“...Tobi thinks Pain-chan is being a bitch...”
The current body of Pain just stared at the being he knew to be the true Boss of Akatsuki... and truly could not tell if he was being serious or not.
If he knew that Obitio was struggling to take back control, scream out, ‘HELL NO!’ and prevent such changes to the uniform, he might have reacted differently.
“But alt-Tobi says it is okay!” chirped the masked ninja. “And Tobi would never lie, for if he did, alt-Tobi would call him on it!”
Sarutobi put down the book, sighed, rubbed his temples, and lit his pipe.
“There shall be brawl,” he muttered, before grabbing a scroll to pen a letter to his student. Maybe if he was lucky, Jiraiya might be able to direct this to Sarutobi’s advisors and former teammates.
“Besides, I need to warn him anyway about… that,” he thought with a shudder.
Seriously! Who wrote and drew doujinshi for a kids’ series!?!?
Pausing in mid-stroke of his calligraphy pen, a small smile crossed Hiruzen’s lips. “Then again, Minato is the acting Hokage. I’ll just bring this to his attention and let him do his job. Not like he doesn’t have a vested interest in Jiraiya as well...”
Taking his pipe in hand once more, the aged ‘Ninja God’ took another long drag of the tobacco stuffed in it. Ah yes, retirement was a wonderful thing. Let the blond wonder deal with all the furry porn. Not his problem. Nope. Not at all... and nothing they could say or do would make him take the job back.
Did you hear him, Fat!? Nothing!!!
“I want to name our child Tomoe!” Kushina insisted as she sat down in a chair beside her husband, the man hunched over the desk and attending to the stacks of never-ending paperwork.
Twitching, the man that was her husband calmly replied, “Now honey, we’ve been over this... we’re naming him Naruto.”
“And what if it’s a girl?” the redhead insisted.
Shrugging, Minato was quick to list off, “Naruko.”
Pouting, the Red Hot Habanero of the Leaf insisted, “We’re naming him Tomoe!”
“Naruto.”
“Tomoe!”
“Naruto.
“TOMOE!”
“Naruto.”
“...Naruto!”
Grinning, the Yondaime Hokage agreed, “Naruto it is. I’m glad you’re so reasonable, Love.”
“Damn it! Let me have my way!!!”
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(Posted Mon, 15 Jul 2013 15:35)
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