"Yes," said the Being, sounding pleased. "That is a term that has been applied to me in the past many times. Interesting that you are the one currently responsible for your team being here."
"ME?!" exclaimed Sakura, looking up at the hulking form she could only see as an outline except for what seemed to be twenty-four eyes. Except that some of the eyes moved and merged and separated again in a way that really made her stomach protest. "IT WAS NARUTO'S BAD HANDWRITING!"
"No," said Sasuke, moving past Sakura to peer up at the figure above them. "I saw it. Naruto didn't activate it. You did when you punched Naruto."
"Me?" asked Sakura in a small voice.
"Where is this?" asked Sasuke.
"That," said the Being, somehow indicating the galaxy above them. "That is your galaxy. This moon is the moon of a civilization that was born and died a billion years before you were born. They attained great power, and then killed themselves off by misusing that power. It is an appropriate setting I think."
"I see," said Sasuke. "And you are?"
"Is it not appropriate to introduce oneself before demanding the identity of another?"
Sasuke considered, then nodded. "I am Sasuke Uchiha."
"Sasuke Uchiha. The Last Uchiha of the Clan Uchiha of Konohagakure. Whose elder brother Itachi slew the remainder of his clan one night a few of your years ago. There are many secrets that you do not know of your past and of your life. Your goals are currently to kill Itachi Uchiha, avenge your clan, and begin the task of rebuilding your clan. The path you make for yourself is one of blood and vengeance, and there is no happiness I can see for you at the end."
"You already know that much," said Sasuke. He frowned up at the thing before him. "Why ask then?"
"Forms must be maintained. Question must proceed answer."
Sasuke decided to think that over, but first things first. "And you are?"
"I existed before there were names. Before humanity. Before time and space and matter. The most common name I am known by of late is Toltiir, an ancient word in a language you have never heard and likely never will. I am the Wishbringer, the Jester Of Space/Time, the Cat Who Laughed. In some places I am the god of mischief and humor, in others a mere narrator of events."
"I know Sakura activated Naruto's experiment with blood," said Sasuke. "Why did you bring me here?"
"Would you rather have appeared in the heart of a sun, or in the cold void between worlds? Nonetheless, it is not you I am concerned with. Rather - it is him."
"Naruto?" spoke up Sakura. "You can have him! Just let us go back home!"
"You would abandon a comrade that quickly? So much for the famed teamwork of the Leaf Village."
Sasuke spent a moment looking over the silent and staring Naruto.
"ME?!" squeaked Naruto.
"Him?" asked Sasuke.
"It's just Naruto," said Sakura.
"The Child of the Toad Prophesy, destined to bring ruin or salvation to your Ninja World. The Jinchuriki of the Kyubi."
"The who-see-what?" asked Naruto.
"WHAT?!" asked Sakura. "Naruto? Are you an idiot?! The only thing he can bring ruin to is a bowl of ramen!"
"That loses you the point you made earlier."
"So - any proof of any of that?" asked Sasuke.
"FREEDOM! I SHALL DEVOUR YOU all..." The multistory nine-tailed fox stopped and started looking around. "What the hell?!"
"Kurama. The nine-tailed fox. This is Naruto Uzumaki, your host. Sakura Haruno. Sasuke Uchiha. I am Toltiir."
"I SHALL DESTROY ALL OF YOU!"
BAM!
"You shall shut up. Be quiet. Behave. You are only outside your seal to prove a point. If I wanted to I could merge all nine tailed beasts together and put you inside a kudzu on a barren world."
"Could you?" asked Naruto, who currently wouldn't mind that outcome at all.
"If I wanted to I could make it so that Naruto Uzumaki had been born a pretty little girl who thought ninjas were icky. I could change Sakura Haruno into a pokemon. I could alter it so that Sasuke Uchiha had become focussed on medical studies - because if he HAD been able to treat wounds - he might have been able to save his mother's life that night."
"No way," said Sasuke.
"Your lives were on a path where things were predetermined to go in a certain manner. When Naruto picked up that book, the path was changed. When you appeared here, it was to deviate it further. Now, Naruto Uzumaki. Speak!"
"Ouch," said the Kyubi, rubbing his head. "So why am I here?"
"Because Naruto could use advice. And no - you can't eat the Uchiha even if he IS related to Madara and Madara Uchiha IS behind the destruction of his clan."
"Wha..." Sasuke closed his mouth with a click but was listening VERY intently. He wasn't sure he believed any of this, but anything that could materialize a mile-wide mallet and slam it into the Kyubi's head was something he wasn't inclined to needlessly antagonize.
"Why did that worm have me attack that village anyway? Not that I might not have done it anyway considering their treatment of me these past centuries."
Toltiir's eyes moved, several regarding the distant galaxy. "Because in order for his 'Moon Eye Plan' to work - the only ones who can resist his genjutsu are those with active and mature Sharingan or the Rinnegan. Even though the Byakugan can defeat genjutsu, it isn't quite powerful enough to instantly defeat the level of genjutsu he's planning to unleash. He is Naruto's enemy since before Naruto's birth, and will extract you to kill Naruto and become the jinchuriki of the Ten-Tails."
"Waitaminute, Naruto? The Kyubi?" asked Sakura, who'd been trying to hide despite the lack of things beside her team to hide behind.
"I may end up having to fog certain memories at the end of this," admitted Toltiir. "Naruto Uzumaki. To derail the future-that-was and allow you to survive the power escalation and menaces thrown your way, I am granting you three wishes. Choose carefully. You now have fifteen minutes to make decisions on those."
Poof! went the big multi-eyed Being.
"So. I don't suppose you can wish that I had something a bit more comfortable than the sewer of a powerplant. Not that it isn't a step up from what your mother's prison was like."
"Uhm?" Sakura looked up.
"Kurama."
"You're..."
"The Ninetailed Demon Fox. Who was pulled out of the kit, hammered with something that apparently causes rage to be dispersed, and set down to give advice by something that even I cannot fully perceive or understand. Unfortunately my host is both an idiot and too young to understand a damn bit of it."
Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura all looked at each other briefly.
"Uhm, so, any ideas?" asked Naruto.
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(Posted Tue, 10 Jun 2014 16:35)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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