"So, you're sealed in Naruto," said Sakura nervously.
"Yes. Nice to get out and stretch, I'll admit. And it isn't quite as bad as it was with Mito or his mother. Being staked to the ground for decades was not only infuriating but painful."
"'Staked'?" asked Sakura.
"Not that I consider a cage in a sewer to be a particularly good situation," growled the Kyubi. "Stupid fleshbags. The Sage Of Six Paths was the first jinchuriki and it has gone seriously downhill since then."
"So, you being inside Naruto gives him a lot of chakra?" asked Sakura.
"No. That's mostly him. The Uzumaki family line has higher than usual stamina and chakra. The seal constantly takes some of my chakra and feeds it to him, allowing him to replenish his chakra faster. Also burns out some poisons. Some day though - I'll be able to free myself from his puny flesh prison and destroy you monkeys for the constant insult you've done me."
"That whatever-it-was said that you were forced to attack the village by Madara Uchiha," said Sasuke, glaring up at the beast. "Is that true?"
"That's what he called himself. I have no idea and don't care who the man in the orange mask actually was. He had a mangekyo sharingan, and smelled of hate that had been allowed to fester for long years."
Sasuke frowned as he thought that over.
"I've got an idea," said Sakura. "How about if we wish you were nicer to Naruto?"
"What?"
"What?" asked Naruto.
"Hmmm," hmmmed Sasuke.
"I am the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox. I do not know what this 'nice' is that you speak of."
Three genin exchanged glances, then nodded as one.
"Okay, that's one wish," said Sakura thoughtfully.
"I hate you all with a hate deeper than the starless depths above us."
"Okay, so the first wish is that the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox-" began Sakura.
"Kurama," said Naruto.
"Eh?" asked Sakura.
"I forget who said it, but someone said his name was Kurama," said Naruto, peering up at the being. "You've made my life miserable so that I'm hated by everyone in the village. Except Ichiraku's. Even so, I'll at least acknowledge you and that you have a name."
The Demon Fox looked down at him, snarling. "Oh?"
"Because people don't acknowledge me, and that's wrong," said Naruto, jerking a thumb at his chest. "So I'm not going to do the same thing to someone else!"
"Hmph. Whatever. Not everyone's going to play nice with you anyway, brat."
Sakura got out a blank scroll and began scribbling out the wish, then crossed it off and tried again. Finally she seemed to come up with a wording she was satisfied with.
"If you're going to waste a wish on having someone be nicer to him, what about pinkie here?"
"Eh?" asked Sakura.
"Hmmm," hmmmed Sasuke thoughtfully, taking the scroll from Sakura and looking it over before crossing out one section and writing something additional over it.
Sakura frowned but decided to just let it go. They were on a timer after all. "Okay, second wish. Should we wish for a way to get home?"
Sasuke made a thoughtful noise and considered that for a few moments. "We should ask if that will be provided at the end of this, and if it isn't - that should be the third one."
"Right," said Sakura, taking the scroll back and leaving a large space before writing a "#3" and the appropriate phrasing.
"Well, how about if I wish for an infinite bowl of ramen?" asked Naruto.
"No," said Sasuke, Kurama, and Sakura simultaneously.
"Mean," responded Naruto.
"Of course," grumbled Kurama.
"How about an awesome jutsu?" asked Naruto hopefully.
"How about wishing you were smarter?" asked Sakura.
"How about wishing you were less annoying?" asked Sasuke.
"How about wishing you were the Sage Of Six Paths while you're at it?"
Naruto started sulking, then brightened. "Maybe I could wish that Sakura liked me!"
"No," said Sakura. "Maybe you could wish that you bothered someone else."
"Why you obsess over a pink banshee is beyond me."
"WHAT WAS," began to yell Sakura before the realization that she was yelling at a kaiju-sized demon fox capable of destroying her in less than a heartbeat sunk in, "that?"
"This is all very tiring," decided Kurama. "Regardless of that thing's instructions, I'm going to nap."
"Great," said Naruto. "So - no infinite ramen bowl?"
Sakura whacked Naruto atop his head, hoping that would remind him they'd already shot that idea down.
"Ow. Just asking!"
"The first wish is the 'nicer to Naruto' wish," said Sakura. "How about if the second wish was that Naruto wasn't a talentless idiot?"
"Mean," repeated Naruto.
"He said that Naruto had an enemy before he was even born," said Sasuke thoughtfully. Having an enemy was one of the more important things about the details he was still trying to piece together. IF that thing weren't simply lying, of course. "He also said that Naruto was involved in some prophesy and would face menaces. Plural."
"It could have been lying," said Sakura.
"It pulled THAT out of Naruto, and apparently has enough power that lying about such things would be pointless," pointed out Sasuke. "Take it seriously and at face value for now."
"So what's your suggestion, Sasuke-kun?" asked Sakura.
"What's the first weapon of a ninja?" asked Sasuke.
"A kunai?" asked Naruto.
"Chakra?" asked Sakura.
"Information," said Sasuke.
"Brat's right."
"I thought you were napping," griped Naruto.
"I am. Just talking in my sleep. Not like any of you squishy fleshbags are worthy of speaking with myself."
"Right," said Sasuke. "Anyway. Information. Without that, you can't fight effectively."
"I'm pretty sure if you stab 'em, it doesn't matter," said Naruto.
"Naruto, what if you're fighting a bunshin, you can stab it all you like and it won't hurt the ninja using that jutsu," said Sakura before nodding. "Sasuke is right. Of course."
Sasuke frowned as he thought. The Hyuga had their Byakugan, his own clan had the Sharingan. What kind of sensory ability would allow Naruto to keep up his end without being a direct competition against his own abilities?
"So, maybe something like what Iruka-sensei's got? He could always track me down and find me," mused Naruto.
"There were some old stories about magic weapons," noted Sakura, "maybe something like that? The Masamune that would only cut those with wickedness in their heart? It would be something at least."
"Chakra sensor?" mumbled Kurama, who absolutely was NOT paying any attention and just quietly napping.
"Maybe something like the Inuzuka sense of smell?" mused Sasuke aloud.
Toltiir watched silently from a distance. Those who were supposed to ADVISE Naruto were instead voting on how he should wish. Though if Naruto had actually made a "bottomless ramen bowl" wish that would have been sufficient indication that the child wasn't far enough along to actually make such decisions.
After all, a never-ending bowl of ramen wouldn't actually give the child an improved survival chance and that WAS the entire point here.
So he'd wait and see if they came up with something amusing. And if they didn't and bullied Naruto instead of helping him, maybe he'd just hit them with dyslexia or some other curse before retconning everything and sending them back.
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(Posted Sun, 29 Jun 2014 03:54)
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