"Yes, but it's a same-day thing, it's just that the danger level is sufficient," said Kakashi. "And here's the mission specialist, Anko Mitarashi to give you details."
"These are the brats?" asked a woman in trenchcoat and mesh combination.
"Who're ya callin' a brat?" demanded Naruto.
SLASH!
Naruto's hand slowly came up to feel the cut on his cheek.
Kakashi made a noise from where he was reading a book. "Mitarashi-san? Can you not kill or severely injure my genin before they even get to the mission area?"
"WHAT THE HELL?!" demanded Sakura, pointing. "Is THIS our client?"
THWICK!
"AAAAAAAA!" yelled Sakura after finding a senbon in her arm. "What is... poison?"
"Not a fatal one, I wanted to try this one out. What do you think?" asked Anko.
"Preeeeettyyyy coloorrrrsss," managed Sakura, flat on her back.
Sasuke considered all the responses he could make and decided against it. Best to just stand over here and brood.
"Interesting," said Kakashi. "First test?"
"No, this is the third one," confessed Anko. "First test was against a prisoner. Second was a drunk and violent civvie. This is the first volunteer."
"I don't think she was volunteering," grumbled Naruto as he tried to help a limp Sakura to her feet. It wasn't working too well until he thought to use the tree-climbing exercise to anchor his feet to the ground to give him better leverage.
"Toe-may-to, Toe-mah-to," responded Anko. "Okay. We're going to go to one of my favorite places in the world - Training Ground 44. That's 4-4 as in death doubled."
"Umf," managed Naruto, finally getting Sakura into something approaching a vertical position.
"Why aren't they moving?" asked Anko. "Are they stupid or hard of hearing or something?"
"I think Naruto is having difficulty keeping Sakura from hitting the ground again," said Kakashi without looking up from his book. "And you might want to adjust the dosage of that poison down for a lower body mass."
"Hmmm, you got a point there," said Anko. "Okay, blondie. Drop her. I mean now. Are you just gonna stare at me?"
"But... Sakura-chan... I mean," began Naruto.
"He's concerned for a member of his team, can't fault him for that," said Kakashi.
"Sure I can," said Anko. "But I'll make sure she gets there. I'll even make sure she's appropriately dressed after she went and peed herself."
"Don't do anything inappropriate, she's only thirteen," said Kakashi.
"Just the fact that he had to say that concerns me," said Naruto to Sasuke.
Sasuke considered that and nodded. Yeah. Avoiding those senbon sounded like a good idea.
"Sasukeeeee-kunnnnnn, you're sooooo pretty," crooned Sakura.
"Uhm, she's going to come out of that, right?" asked Naruto.
SLASH!
"WHAT THE HELL?!" asked Naruto.
"Lesson #1: Address the client with respect," said Anko. "Try again."
"Uhm, Client-san, how long is that stuff going to last?" tried Naruto.
"Better, but consider how you could phrase that more politely," said Anko. "It's only been an hour. Give it another hour and a half or so before she starts coming around."
"Honored Client, ma'am," tried Naruto, noting the kunai that their client was flipping from hand to hand. "What exactly is Sakura wearing?"
"I was nice enough to change her clothes after she peed herself and was drooling on her shirt," asked Anko, feigning outrage.
"Because of whatever you had on that senbon," mumbled Naruto.
"What was that?" asked Anko.
"Just wondering if I could get some of what was on that senbon," tried Naruto. "Might be useful to take down a target we need to question later."
"Nice recovery," said Anko. "I'll consider it. Now, I'll give you a basic area to work. What you're doing is looking for skeletons, explosive tags, signs of recent passage, and any thick black webs with strands as thick as your little finger."
"Wha-?" asked Naruto.
"Hurry up, through the gate, stuff isn't going to clear itself," said Anko. "I think we got the last Black Death Weaver - but we want to make sure."
The two genin who weren't so currently high that NASA should be notified looked at their client and at the forest.
Anko decided it was time to start throwing kunai, shuriken, and a kitchen sink. Then she went back and wondered when she'd packed that last and why. It didn't matter that much, and it had made a satisfying thunk against the blond's head, but it was an odd choice for her.
At which point she realized she'd lost track of the genin.
Naruto was the first to find the web, by the simple expedient of running straight into it.
Sasuke managed to stop, warned by Naruto's yelp and coming to a halt. He peered at it, getting a better look than Naruto. Black threads, thick goopy-looking strands as thick as his little finger, stretched a good nine meters across and ten up.
"Sasuke?" managed Naruto, his voice sounding a lot more quiet and calm than he usually did.
"Hn?"
"Did I get hit with one of those funny senbon or is there really a giant tiger staring me in the face?"
Sasuke backed up a bit to look. "Actually. Yeah. There IS a giant tiger stuck in the same web you are."
"Should I panic now or panic later?" asked Naruto, still sounding very calm.
"Later, I think," said Sasuke. "The tiger is able to reach you, and if you act like a prey animal it might respond that way."
"Ah. Okay. Thank you. I'd rather not have my face bitten off. I suspect that might hurt." Naruto considered things. "Can you cut through the webs?"
Sasuke blinked. "You seem... awfully calm."
"I think it's because I've passed panic and gone into something on the other side," said Naruto. "How's Sakura?"
"You dropped her when you hit the web," noted Sasuke, glancing up. "Uh oh."
"That particular phrase is very concerning right now," noted Naruto.
The tiger growled something that sounded concerned and tried to move, but with no feet on the ground it wasn't able to pull free of the webs.
"Sasuke? Fire would be nice." Naruto's voice rose into a squeak as he felt the vibrations.
"Right," said Sasuke, going through the hand-signs quickly. "Great Fireball!"
The fireball turned out to serve three purposes. The goop that was the web burned and shriveled, freeing the prisoners. It also blasted into the giant spider, temporarily blinding it and pissing it thoroughly off. And third, it managed to start a smouldering fire that Sasuke was hoping would signal either Kakashi or their client as to their current position and distress.
Finding them was easy. There was blackened soot here, a segment of chiton over here, a mandible there, a bit of green ichor here, and so on.
Anko walked around a greenish splatter, then eyed the clearing. That she suspected hadn't actually been a clearing very long ago. Explosive tags had been in use.
There was the blond kid and the Uchiha standing with their backs against a tree trunk, with the other side of that blonde being occupied by one of the biggest and most battle-scarred of the giant tigers she'd ever seen. Between the blond and the Uchiha was the sleeping pink-haired girl, a big bubble of snot forming as she snored.
Wait. Giant tiger?
Yup. One of the giant tigers of the forest. Buttocks resting against the tree and looking around defensively.
There was a particularly big member of the species known as the Black Death Weaver. Which wasn't really a spider, at least according to the people who cared about classifying stuff like that. Real spiders apparently didn't spit venom or have a penchant for throwing hardened spikes of web-material that were basically like concrete spears. Nor was the typical spider's web material coated in a tranquilizer. Anko was of the opinion that it looked close enough and was therefore a spider.
That there were over two dozen much smaller bodies scattered about was even more concerning.
That all of the spiders were dead was really the only not-concerning part of this picture.
"Uhm. Good going!" Anko tried.
The two genin just looked at her, gazes not particularly focussed.
"You managed to find a Black Death Weaver and her nest," indicated Anko. "And in such a short time too."
The blond made a whimpering noise. Anko suspected that wasn't normal for him.
"Did you make sure to torch the eggs?" asked Anko.
"There's more?" squeaked Sasuke. Something told Anko that wasn't exactly normal for HIM either.
"Yeah, that's why we kill 'em whenever we find 'em," said Anko. "Suckers normally lay eggs in the bodies of things that they trap in their webs."
"Ung," said the blond one, twitching.
"Looks like this one was a good three meters," said Anko. "Not bad. You used explosive tags on kunai, right?"
"Ye-yeah," managed Sasuke.
The tiger gave a huff, considered her briefly with green eyes, then rubbed itself against Naruto as it stalked off.
"Never seen one do that before," said Anko as the tiger vanished.
"Snrk. Huh? What?" Sakura sat up. "WHAT THE HELL AM I WEARING?!"
"Anko? Why are two of my genin twitching and one complaining about sexual harrassment?" asked Kakashi after finding Anko at the bar.
"Aw hell, Kakashi, I didn't know you wanted all three to be complaining about that kind of thing," retorted Anko.
"No, seriously," said Kakashi.
"Pinky was still drugged up, but the boys ran into a Black Death Weaver."
Kakashi winced. "Ouch."
"It was a momma," added Anko.
"Double ouch," said Kakashi.
"When I caught up with them, they had been swarmed by about fifty of the little ones," said Anko. "And the momma."
"That explains the scramble of jonin into the Forest tonight," said Kakashi.
"Yeah. By morning they'll have gone through the whole thing and eliminated any remainder or other nests," said Anko.
"How 'little' were the 'little ones'?" asked Kakashi.
"From double-fist to head sized," answered Anko.
"No wonder they're still twitching," said Kakashi.
"That and they saw how the spiders feed," said Anko. "There were dessicated birds and squirrels and such there too. You know how those spiders eat?"
"I know," said Kakashi.
"They inject an acid into their victim's bodies that liquifies it, then they just slurp it all up," said Anko.
"I said 'I know'," said Kakashi.
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(Posted Sat, 10 Jan 2015 19:14)
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