Not that the lion didn't try, of course, and, eventually he built up a lynch...group that...well...
"Are we there yet?" the man at the back of the...ummm...pack demanded petulantly.
"No, we aren't!" the were-lion declared. "And please stop asking me."
"Well, when are we going to get there?" another asked.
"You said this wouldn't take very long," asked yet another in a very whiny, suspiciously British voice.
"Look!" the were-lion said. "It's just around the corner so, we'll just..."
And at that moment a young blonde wererat zipped from around behind a tree.
"HA!" Lydia said, scratching herself a little. "That'll get rid of him! Crossed three streams double-backed twice and tramped through that #$%#$%in' poison ivy (when will that stuff heal!?) and the wild garlic, swam the pond. Heh...he'll never find me now!"
"Look, it's a wererat!" one of the lynchers shouted, causing Lydia to turn about and notice the assorted...collection of people and one werelion. "Ahhh...what do you plan to do with that rope and...heheheheh...I think I'll just be..."
She took a step backwards, the lynchers took a step after her. Another pair of steps. Small hop, and another in unison from the lynchers. Look at that, they were tying a noose.
"#$%$$##%#%#!!!" Lydia turned to run...
****
Meanwhile...
Raphiel sighed, he just couldn't seem to find where Lydia had vanished to. She was such an interesting person to, and she looked so cute whenever she froze up and started holding onto like a security blanket.
****
Julia was not nearly so fooled by Lydia's diversions. (And she was going to pay dearly for the poison ivy, though Julia hadn't gone in, there was still a principle involved.)
This is why she came upon...what looked like that werelion and five people standing around a makeshift gallows with a wererat on it. A wererat wearing a black robe with the word "vellinus fuhg" written on it and nasty disreputable "thugish" scar that had obviously been painted on.
"What do you think you are doing?" Julia asked, landing next to Lydia.
"We're getting rid of this evil villainous wererat thug as you refuse to do," the wererat said.
"How do you know she's a thug?" Julia asked.
"She's dressed like one," somebody said. Julia turned a sighing expression toward Lydia.
"I am not a thug!" Lydia declared. "They dressed me like this! And this isn't my scar! It's a fake one!" Julia stuck her finger through the "scar," which was already ruined by Lydia's hair splitting it.
"Is this true?" Julia asked irritably.
"Well," a villager said. "We did the clothes."
"And the scar," another added.
"But she's a thug!" the werelion yelled.
"Hang her! Hang her!" They chorused.
"Again, do you have any proof?" Julia asked.
"She scratched my eyes out!" somebody said.
Julia, Lydia and practically everybody else turned to look at him with an expression that clearly said. "What?"
"Scratched them out?" Julia repeated.
"I got better," he said sheepishly. "Hang her! Hang her!"
"Yes, hang her! Hang her!"
"Oh let them hang me," Lydia said, shrugging. "What'll it #%$in' do?"
"Err, Lydia," Julia said. "The neck breaking part is no problem, but if you don't get air, you die the way everything else does...just it takes longer, so you'll be in a lot more pain." Lydia blinked several times.
"Heh heh heh," she said, swaying.
"And don't faint unless you want to start choking slowly to death," Julia added. Lydia snapped to attention.
"Hang her!"
"Listen, I'm not going to let you hang her unless you can give me some evidence of some crime she committed that deserves that," Julia said.
"But if we don't lynch her, the Edge Guard won't protect us!" a villager said. "Wererats are evil, nasty, assassins that hate werecats and the Edge Guard won't..."
"OH! Hey," a new voice declared as Raphiel happened upon the scene. "Hi, Mrs. Diggers, hey Lydia, tag, you're it...now it's your turn to find me."
~This is going to be...~ Lydia tried to control her emotions thoroughly and... "OH!! Raphy-koo..." glomped onto Raphiel using phrases she'd heard from Moisha. "Like these total uh...dweebs are like trying to like...totally diss me see and...see and they say I'm a totally whacked out loser and...PLEASE SAVE ME!!"
She hadn't noticed Moisha coming in behind. Julia rolled her eyes and shook her head.
"Like, Lyds," Moisha said through narrowed eyes. "Like, stop bagging my lingo...or at least, like, make sense, you know? These aren't dweebs! They're GOOBERS! Chwa!"
Meanwhile Raphiel, who while rather naive and hyperactive was no idiot and immediately comprehended that this was a chance to maybe get somewhere with the rat girl.
"Hey! Are you picking on Lydia?" Raphiel asked. The villagers blinked and turned to the werelion.
"I thought you said wererats hate werecats," one of them said.
"They do!" he protested. "It's a trick!"
"I blew a whole day to come here!" someone shouted. "I didn't even break for calls of nature!"
"I thought I smelled something a little funny," another noted.
"Yeah, it's a different sort of smell than the guck we're normally covered in," another said.
"AHH! Let's just go home," yet another said.
"Yes, if we hurry we can get back in time for the public spanking of that naughty person!" another said.
And with that they all stampeded off shouting "OOO!! A spanking! A spanking!"
"You haven't heard the last of this Julia Brigand-Diggers!" the thwarted were-lion declared.
"Phew, that's over," Lydia said, sighing.
"And now that your safe Lydia," Raphiel said before kissing her in a shy and cute manner on the cheeks. Lydia paled to white and toppled off the scaffold.
"I told you not to faint," Julia sighed as she started to save the now strangling wererat.
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(Posted Sun, 02 Mar 2003 22:42)
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