One of the warehouse workers stopped and looked up at the speakers. "Y'know man."
"Yeah man," said his buddy. "Whazzit?"
Cheech Marin (Sgt) grinned. "I want some of whatever she's having."
"I hear that man," said Corporal Chong. "That's right man."
"This is top secret, we shouldn't be reading these," pointed out Nurse Kelly. "Are you done with that page yet?"
Corporal Walter "Radar" O'Reilly (no relation, honest!) nodded absently and passed the next page.
Captain Spaulding tsked. "So, you're spies too?"
"Yeah, I'm a spy from the American military," admitted Corporal O'Reilly.
"I'm a spy from South Korea," said Nurse Kelly.
"I'm just a janitor," admitted Corporal Maximillian Klinger. "What, you thought I was a spy from Toledo?"
"Cool," said Captain Spaulding. "I'm surprised the Vatican hasn't sent anyone."
"Didn't know the Vatican had spies," said a fairly drunken Major Mulcahey, lying through his teeth.
Sergeant Schultz looked around at the giant sea of LCL/blood, the giant catgirl, the giant cross with the giant bolts on it. He dropped his repair kit and said the only thing he could under the circumstances.
"I see nothing. I hear nothing. I especially know NOTHING."
"Hello," said Fuyutsuki as he entered what he'd thought was his office but apparently someone had installed a new corridor.
"Don't give me that, you snotty nosed malodorous pervert," said the girl behind the desk.
"What?" said Fuyutsuki, checking the sign and discovering this was now the Department of Insults.
"Shut your gob, you stick faced zombie with all the emotional weight of a brick! You make me want to puke up!"
Fuyutsuki listened for a minute, then he said It.
(gentle music plays) It was a brief paragraph, but so horrific and terrible the scope of the insult, so thorough and verbose, it is not detailed here lest tender minds come across it unaware and suffer severe mental trauma as a result. (/gentle music)
"Whoa," said the girl behind the desk.
"I used to be a college professor who had to double up as a financial aid worker," said Fuyutsuki. "Had to get the students to shut up and pay attention."
"Right," said the girl, still wide eyed in shock. "Think maybe I was the wrong girl for the job. Have you been round to Arguments, two doors down?"
Fuyutsuki smiled. "No, but I think I'll be right over." Working with Gendo every day? He could really use some venting.
They were on a shopping expedition. There were several reasons for this.
First, the various catgirls were all (with the exception of the slender Rei Maehara) bustier and more curvaceous than the original. Some were taller, some were shorter, some were bustier than the others.
Second, the clothing worn at time of conversion had converted, but the rest of their outfits remained the same.
Third, due to having feline mannerisms plus their tail and ears - there were other considerations to be made.
Which brings us to the Shopping Expedition Party (Mini-Quest).
Rei-ojou, Lasher (whip master and shibari specialist), Level 1
Rei Himura (sometimes Aoyama), Samurai, Level 1
Rei Light, Angel, Level 1
Rei Nightingale, Nurse, Level 1
Rei Himura's eyes narrowed. "Come out you might as well, detected you have been."
The other three Rei looked around, not seeing anything.
Holding her bag from [Betty's Bondage & Toy Shoppe], Rei-ojou frowned at the thought of someone getting to Shinji ahead of her because she was going to be delayed by some paltry villains. "Are you sure?"
Holding her bag from Target Pharmacy, where she'd gotten a good deal on the Clearance item bandaids and other supplies, Rei Nightingale nervously looked around. She was Support personnel, not a frontline fighter!
Rei Light closed her eyes and also frowned, setting her bag of religious supplies aside. "Oh kami, please forgive the actions of this penitent one, for some serious butt whupping be in her future."
This drew stares from Rei-ojou and Nurse Rei.
One black suited, sunglass wearing figure appeared.
Followed by another. And another. And another.
As one, they all in eerie silent unison pulled little batons out of their jackets and set them to crackling.
Giving a faint self-depreciating smile, Rei Himura shook her head. "Taser jitte? How declasse."
Rei Light briefly looked over the crowd encircling them. "I sorrow that things must be settled in such a pedestrian manner, yet it is through suffering that life's lessons must be learned. I grieve that I must harm even such as these." Schummmm - a sword of light appeared in the Angel's hand. "Repent for the hour of your pain is at hand."
Rei-ojou licked her lips. "That sounds like my line! Bow down fools, and call me Queen!"
"Oh dear," said Nurse Rei. "Now what?"
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(Posted Sun, 24 Aug 2003 13:50)
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らんま1/2 © Rumiko Takahashi
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