Genma tried to look innocent. "When have any of my ideas turned out poorly?"
Ranma began ticking off items. "Jusenkyo. Stopping at that Amazon Village for something to eat. Running from that damn Amazon instead of finishing her off. Swimming to China. This just in the past two weeks, you really want the full list?"
"Temporary setbacks," said Genma. "Hmmm looks like rain."
"Which brings us back to Jusenkyo," pointed out Ranma. "Give me one good reason I shouldn't just leave you, change my name, and try to find a cure on my own."
"Honor?" tried Genma.
Ranma told his father what he could do with honor.
"Oh the unkind fates that have given me a son who doesn't care about honor," wailed Genma.
Ranma told his father what he could do with unkind fates.
Naturally it started raining at that point. Genma turned into a panda. Ranma turned into a hard-eyed girl.
"Growf growfle growf," said Genma, pointing to a sign that proclaimed this was the Tendo Dojo.
"Yeah yeah, yipee skippy," growled Ranma. "Hope they've got hot water."
"Growf," indicated the panda, just barging right in. There was a feminine scream immediately.
"Stupid lard-ass panda," said Ranma, entering behind the panda.
"I suppose this panda just wandered in then?" said a girl in reply to something Ranma hadn't heard.
"Y-you wouldn't be," said a middle aged guy as he saw Ranma.
"Yeah. I'm Ranma Saotome. Got any hot water?"
"Oh, he is cute."
Ranma glared at the girl speaking. "I'm a martial artist. Martial artists ain't cute." His father had told him women lived to betray men. You couldn't trust 'em at all. Hateful creatures. Only in the Art was there any solace.
"Oh, I'm so glad you're here," said the middle aged guy, grabbing Ranma.
THWAM!
"Don't do that," advised Ranma as a head-butt sent the Tendo patriarch staggering back.
"Wait a minute," said the girl who'd launched the cute remark. She began peering at Ranma's chest.
Ranma glared at the weird girl some more.
Grope, fondle, rub
"Ranma's not a boy, she's a girl," announced the groper.
Grab, pin, twist
Ranma pulled a little tighter on the girl's arm in order to get it higher up her back. "How old are you, girl?"
"Ack!" Nabiki said as she felt her arm about ready to leave its socket. "Hey! That hurts!"
"Well, you wanna see your next birthday, stop pulling that shit," said Ranma, releasing the girl and booting her in the rear to get some distance.
"Oh my, she's an even worse mannered thug than you are, Akane," said Kasumi.
Ranma turned that glare on the housekeeper. "It's bad enough to be cursed like this, you try getting groped and see how nicey-nicey you remain about it."
A panda had spent time looking for hot water and growfed something to that effect from the kitchen. With all the extra training he'd given Ranma to make sure he didn't go looking for those odd girls, he needed to change back and make explanations before someone was hospitalized!
"My kitchen!" Kasumi realized and went rushing off to perform panda control.
"Oh, I get it now." Ranma nodded as Soun shook off the earlier blow. "Now I understand why it was so important I come here."
"Yes, well, it's to unite the two schools of Anything Goes..." began Soun.
"By crushing the current champion and destroying the Tendo school, then folding it into the Saotome school," summed up Ranma. "Well Pops, I guess it wasn't as lame as I thought it was."
"...what?" Soun asked.
"excuse me?" Akane asked.
"Father you got everything wrong on this one, didn't you?" complained Nabiki, rubbing a sore shoulder.
"b-b-b-b-b-b-but-" blubbered Soun.
"Was that a challenge?" asked Akane, cocking a fist. "Don't underestimate me!"
"Do you want to be defeated here or in your dojo?" asked Ranma.
"Growf growf!" complained a panda still in the kitchen.
"Put the kettle down," ordered Kasumi as she confronted the kitchen wrecker.
"What was that?" Akane asked. "Do you want to repeat that?"
"Ya hard of hearing, chicken legs? I asked ya if you wanted me to beat you here or do it all formal like in your dojo." Ranma smirked his smirkiest smirk at the angry girl.
It had the desired effect, Akane began an attack.
WHAP! CRUNCH! BANG! Ziiiiiiiiiiiiip!
Akane limped very quickly back into the house. "No fair! I wasn't ready!"
WHAM! THUD! SMASH! Ziiiiiiiiiiiip!
Akane limped a lot slower back into the house. "That was a cheap shot!"
POW! BASH! SLAM! Ziiiiiiiiiiip!
Akane hobbled back to the house. "You - you bastard. Let's see you try that again."
CRASH! WHUD! THWAM! Ziiiiiiiip!
"You dirty... " Akane made it as far as the steps on pure fury before collapsing.
Ranma looked down at the girl. "Ya know what. I kinda like her. She's stubborn and violent. Maybe I ought to take her on as a student after I destroy your sign." Never work though, wouldn't survive the training. Oyaji had always used pissing him off as an incentive to get better. Someone who got angry that easy would be easy to motivate.
Soun made gobbling noises as Ranma went into the backyard and the sounds of wood being splintered was heard.
"There we go," said Ranma as he returned. "C'mon, oyaji, I finished here."
"EEEEEEK!" came a scream from the kitchen.
"Growfle growf" (splash) "need that kettle more than you do," said a voice that sounded less furry after the splash than before. Also from the kitchen.
Genma rushed out. "Did I miss anything?"
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(Posted Mon, 01 Dec 2003 13:08)
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