Shinji watched his fiery roommate disappear in the corridor leading to the bedrooms, a worried look on his face. She was obviously upset, shocked even, and it was all his fault. Of course, none could have predicted the incident at the test today but he still felt guilty as he was the source of her discomfort.
Speaking of discomfort, the tension between him and Misato, now that they were alone in the living room, was almost palpable.
*Poor Shinji...* thought Misato. The poor boy turned man didn't have much of a poker face. He had realized what they had done in her car earlier and was almost certainly feeling guilty, the blame resting on his sole shoulders in his mind. Misato was more realistic. It took two to tango after all and had she been opposed to the idea at the time, she could have overpowered him easily... No, she had wanted this as much as he did, perhaps even more.
Frankly, to see him so concerned about what she was feeling gave her a warm and fuzzy feeling all over. Kaji and the few men she had known would never have had so much consideration for her thoughts about something like this *More like bragging about it or planning for a repeat performance...* she angrily mused.
"Shinji-kun..." Shinji was broken out of his personal angst session by Misato's voice. The major sat on a chair on the other side of the table and locked gazes with him "I think... I think we need to talk"
*Oh hell...* Fear and panic overwhelmed Shinji as he looked down, wanting to avoid seeing the anger and disgust toward him in Misato's eyes. Noticing that there was no beer can in immediate line-of-sight, he understood that Misato was deadly serious about their 'talk'. Seeing Misato sober and serious at the same time? *I'm going to die...*
Misato was a little nonplussed. Any young healthy male would be full of confidence after a wild ride with a beautiful woman but here was Shinji, squirming under her gaze *Ah, but you're not like the others, Shin-chan. That's one of the things I lo...* She cleared her throat to get Shinji's attention back (and interrupting uncomfortable thoughts) "Shinji-kun, listen. I..."
Shinji didn't let her speak further "Look, Misato-san, I know what I've done is unforgivable... I took advantage of you and I cannot express how sorry I am..." He knew his usual "Sorry..." wouldn't cut it this time.
Misato blinked in surprise then she smiled a little awkwardly, trying to reassure him "Shinji-kun... It's all right, really..."
"I understand if you don't want me to stay here after what happened in your car. You can't trust me anymore with you or Asuka. Tomorrow, I'll call NERV and ask for an appartment far away from this place"
"Shinji-kun... That won't be necessary..." Misato sweatdropped. He was literally making a moutain of a mouse. She knew he had self-confidence problems and a tendency to play the guilty party/martyr but this was ridiculous "Listen, I just want to say..."
He stood up, still avoiding looking at her face "I'll go to my room and pack my things. I'll be gone tomorrow and never bother you again..."
Misato had had enough with his attitude. He was sooooo wrong on many accounts "SHINJI! STOP SAYING SUCH NONSENSE AND LISTEN TO ME!!!"
"Eeeep...! Yes, ma'am!" Properly chastised, Shinji fell back on his chair and prepared for her inevitable tongue-lashing.
"Shinji-kun... Shin-chan... You've got it all wrong. I don't blame you at all for what happened between us" Misato put a hand on Shinji's and gently squeezed it "I kissed you first and you didn't do anything I didn't want after that" She smiled teasingly "In fact, had you stopped, I would have been very upset with you, Shin-chan!"
Shinji was incredulous, to say the least "You... You... I... But..."
Misato groaned "Shinji-kun, is the idea that a woman can be attracted to you so impossible? Seriously..."
Sinji's doubts weren't so easily dispelled however. His voice grew bitter "It's the accident... Before I turned like this, you'd never have considered doing... that with me, am I right?"
Misato paused. That was something she was sure would come up sooner or later. How could she explain this? "Shinji-kun...I would be lying if I said it didn't influence me a little..."
"I knew it... I don't want your pity, Misato-san..." retorted Shinji. He stood up to leave the living room for the sanctity of his 'Lovely Suite'.
Misato grabbed him before he could run away from her and forced him to look at her in the eyes "SHINJI! Stop jumping to conclusions and listen to me!" Her voice grew heated with each word that followed "Even before you turned all studly, I had feelings for you... You must be the single most decent male I know and I can admit that I have regretted the fact I was so much older than you..."
Shinji couldn't see anything but sincerity in Misato's voice and eyes "Wha...?"
"Shinji... What we did was... magical for me... You wanted it, I wanted it. If someone should apologize here, that would be me... I took something from you today and you can never have it back... I should be sorry that your first time was with an old hag like me" Shinji sweatdropped but stayed silent, as if he could just say "That's all right, Misato-san, Ritsuko-san took my virginity before you so don't beat yourself up about it"
Misato's eyes watered and her voice broke "I'm the disgusting one, not you... Oh god, I'm just an old bitch and I don't deserve someone like you... You're so kind to me. You even said you cared about me... But you must hate me now. The truth is that I used you because I'm so lonely!!" The tears finally came out and she turned her face, unable to look at him any longer. She took a step back, intent on running away from him.
Shinji gulped and rallied all the scraps of the confidence his transformation into super-stud gave him and caught her before she could leave "Mi... Misato-san... I... Don't cry... I don't hate you..." He tried to find the right things to say but his lack of experience left him only with one choice: Honesty "Misato-san, I would be lying if I told you I didn't like it as much as you did. You're so smart, caring, funny and sexy... It was magical for me too"
Misato looked up and looked in Shinji's eyes. They were shimmering with emotion and she knew it was the same for her. They suddenly noticed they were locked in a gentle embrace, their mouths so very close...
"Shin... Shin-chan..."
"Misato-san..."
See other episodes by Jamil Nate
(Posted Thu, 04 Dec 2003 22:31)
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