“No time,” Julia said as she dragged Theo, the sound of legs snapping in directions they shouldn’t was not bothering her in the slightest.
Sliding the door opened, Julia stepped into the kitchen. She sighed at the telltale signs of Gina having been making tuna sandwiches. The bread was left out and open, empty cans were about, the mayonnaise jar was left open; a total mess. And if Julia’s eyes weren’t playing a trick on her, it appeared that there had been a trail of tuna on the floor that had been... Licked clean. “I swear, you take your eyes off of her for a second...” Julia grumbled, but left it hanging. She mad much bigger fish cats to fry.
“But where could he be?” Julia wondered.
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Julia blinked her eyes. “That way!”
And thus, Julia went marching, intent on teaching the new ‘house-guest a thing or two.”
“Ow, ow, ow, ow, OW! Julia, ow, dear, OW! Please, ow, let me walk on my OWn please! Ow, ow, OW!”
Stopping for a moment, Julia gave the thought all of .03 seconds before tugging at Theo harder. “No.”
“OW!”
(------)
His head flat on the table, Ranma slammed his fist repeatedly on the table again and again, making the Checkers clatter. “Do over!”
Smiling good-naturedly, Dr. Jonathan Farenheights Diggers couldn’t help but sweat-drop a little. “Are you sure that’s wise? Your blood-pressure looks as though it’s going to sky-rocket.”
“Do over!” Ranma whimpered out again. He wasn’t going to be beaten, dammit! He was Ranma Saotome! When it counted, Ranma Saotome didn’t lose! “And this certainly must count for SOEMTHING!” Ranma thought irritably.
Chuckling, Jonathan said, “All right, all right. We’ll play again.”
However, it was then that the door to the room opened. Jonathan and Ranma turned their heads to see Julia standing there, her left eye twitching irritably.
And they could tell by Theo’s condition, she was not in a good mood.
Gulping a little audibly, Ranma couldn’t help but wonder, “Why do I always gotta talk to the violent tomboys?”
(------)
“This show has been brought to you by the letter ‘A’, the number ‘3’, and Vitamin ‘B-12’,” the volume from the TV could be heard saying, before it went off into a cute-sounding song, while showing images of a large blue ostrich and some puppets.
“You’re gonna like this, Brit,” Gina said excitedly between bites of her overstuffed tuna-fish sandwich. “Alfalfa Avenue is probably the most exciting educational show on TV to date, even if Obese Ostrich is kinda annoying.”
Britanny didn’t say anything, as she was too busy suckling on her own hands, which were covered in tuna.
“You’ll like the Muppets too,” Gina said, after taking a larger bite of her sandwich. “They aren’t mops, and they aren’t puppets, but man-oh-man, they can be funny!”
Seeing her hands were clean, Britanny started crawling over to Gina.
“Huh? No, you cannot have more of my tuna-fish sandwich. I made you your own, didn’t I?”
Britanny was climbing onto the couch.
“Britanny,” Gina said as she waved her finger. “You can’t have anIIIIEEE!!! Ah!!! Get off! Get off, get off, get offa me! No! Don’t-heh heh! Stop-hee hee! Stop! Ha ha! That tongue tickles!”
(------)
As he sat down on a couch within the library, Ranma turned his head to look about the room for the moment. After all, it was MUCH less stressful than having to look at Julia. Brr... That woman could stare at fire and make it freeze.
Standing before the boy, Julia had her arms crossed under her chest and tapped her foot irritably. Nope. She was NOT a happy camper. Nope! She was not one indeed. This was the vile, evil, nasty pervert who dare corrupt her sweet and innocent little girl!
Still, she couldn’t just turn the boy away. He had a little girl who needed to be loved and cared for. Granted, she knew he was to be her guardian, but it was obvious to Julia that this pigtailed teen didn’t know the first thing about raising kids! So she felt it was her civic duty to try and help the boy understand that there was a lot of work to being a parent; to teach him all she could about raising a child.
But first things, first! If he was going to be living under HER roof, with HER family, especially HER CHILD, then he had BETTER know the laws of Julia.
“Okay, Ranma,” Julia said, eyeing the youth before her. “After a long, LONG talk with Theo, I’ve decided to let you and Britanny stay here.”
“Really?” Ranma asked, trying not to sound too hopeful.
“Yes,” Julia said. Her eyes then hardened. “However, there are a few ground rules you need to follow. You screw up one time, I’m tearing off your head and flushing it down the toilet! Got it!?”
Gulping a little, Ranma nodded his head. The look in her eyes, he could see she wasn’t joking. “Understood.”
“Good!” Julia said. “First rule, ten pm curfew. I need a good eight hours sleep you know! I like to get up at six to get a bit of training in.”
Ranma nodded his head. “Understood.”
“Rule Two,” Julia continued, “No seducing my baby girl!!!”
Ranma blanched. “What! I would never seduce her! She’s, what, two!?”
“Three to be precise,” Julia said. Her eyes narrowed. “And you had BETTER not touch her in ways that will make me have to gut you.”
Ranma nodded his head. “Understood loud and clear.”
“Good,” Julia said. “Rule Three, don’t squeeze from the middle of the tooth-paste tube! Squeeze from the bottom and go up!”
“Sure,” was all Ranma said.
“Rule Four,” Julia continued, “You will watch and listen to everything I tell you to when it comes to how to take care of a child.”
Nodding his head Ranma said, “Right. That’s what I’m here to do.”
Julia nodded her head. “Good. Now, Rule Five. Don’t go touching any of my swords or Theo’s books without permission. You could get yourself or even the kids hurt.”
Ranma nodded his head. “Reasonable.”
“Now the sixth and most important rule! Don’t you DARE leave the toilet seat up, or I’ll give you an ass-kicking on principle!”
Sweating a little nervously, Ranma said, “Sure.”
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(Posted Thu, 15 Jan 2004 14:56)
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