She reviewed her checklist.
x Pit was dug to an underground tank.
x Alligators and pirahna in tanks, ready to be released on the unsuspecting boy.
x Opening to pit concealed by picnic blanket.
x Bulging picnic basket out in plain sight on picnic blanket.
x Sensors set to go off hidden around the pit, if something came OUT of the pit.
x Debilitatingly painful paralysis poison on various darts tied to those sensors.
x 200 gallons of Nair Darn Near Everything Remover - Extra Strength, set to be released with a single tug of the ropes, to deluge the little monster while he was paralyzed.
x tar and feather sprayers set to activate ten seconds after the Nair
xLarge very sharp knife ready.
xAuto-focus camera to record the event for posterity.
xSleep poison in food in case the sleeping basket got stolen anyway.
Sailor Pluto giggled madly. Perfect. She had covered all contingencies! Then she could relax and relive the moment where she humiliated her victim by turning him into a naked hairless tarred and feathered statue before she took his life as well as his dignity.
"There! Look at that, boy! Fetch that for your poor starving father."
Sailor Pluto giggled again from her hiding place.
"Get it yerself old man! I'm tempted to go back and see if those cheerleader girls had anything to eat."
Pluto frowned. He wasn't going after the bait?!
"Hmph, I'll get it myself then!" declared Genma, striding forward.
Pluto panicked, she couldn't let the stupid father ruin her plans.
If she'd gotten more sleep lately, she likely wouldn't have run out to snatch up the picnic basket.
"Uh oh," said Pluto as she dropped down into the pit.
splash went the tanks holding the pirahna and alligators.
snap chomp bite went the pirahna and alligators.
"YOWTCH!" said Pluto as she madly scrambled out of the pit, leaving the picnic basket to be devoured by the pirahna and alligators.
BEEEP! went the sensors.
Pooom! went the darts.
thakitta-thakitta-thakitta went all the darts into Sailor Pluto.
"Erk! I'll... get... you..." managed Sailor Pluto, struggling to go forward and deal with Ranma somehow personally. As she started to fall, paralyzed, she grabbed the nearest object to remain standing.
TWANG! went the rope.
"oh hell," grunted Sailor Pluto as she tried to let go but was paralyzed and clutching a rope.
SPLOOOOSH! went gallons of Nair Everything Remover.
flumpf went her hair, clothes, and makeup.
splurshhhhh! went the coating of warm stickum.
fwoooooshhhh! went the spray of feathers.
"Damn!" said Ranma, wide eyed.
"Hmmmm, must be a martial arts training technique I've never heard of," said Genma, wondering what it taught and if he should try to duplicate it.
"Hey pop, there's a lot of fish and crocagators floating around down there," said Ranma from the pit edge.
"Ranma! Where's your manners?" Genma demanded. "Just grab a couple and let's go. We don't want to interrupt this woman's martial arts training."
"Right, pop," Ranma agreed. He didn't see the value of this technique. It merely looked silly to him. Oh well.
The camera began clicking away until it ran out of film, then slowly and majestically (well sort of) Sailor Pluto fell the rest of the way to the ground.
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(Posted Fri, 12 Mar 2004 08:31)
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