"Hello Kaiji." Said an old man in a fancy decorated bathrobe from behind a glass counter the moment the spy set foot in the oddities store. The unshaven man didn't give the old man the satisfaction of asking how he knew his name. If he had something to do with Misato then he was bound to know about other people who worked at NERV.
"I must say young man I hadn't expected you to ever show up here."
"Oh, and why is that?"
"I was sure you'd have gotten yourself shot before you ever stumbled across this place." This old man knew a lot. "But as long as you're here, I'm sure I can something just for you, something perfect for your troubles."
At the old man's words, it all clicked into place. The old man, dressed in a bathrobe, no a –wizard!-, Items that were 'custom' for unwitting customers, the sign above the door? Kaiji knew this place as well as if he had been here before.
Kaiji chuckled. "Heh, NO thank you. I've heard about you on-line. Anything I buy from you is likely to get me turned into a high school cheerleader."
"I should have known those internet stories would warn I mean turn off people from my store."
"Misato told me I waste a good deal of my life reader them when we were younger. Looks like she was wrong. So, care to tell me what you suckered my ex into buying?"
"She didn't buy anything. But our clinically depressed teenage boy did. Remember the cosplay event several weeks back?"
"When I heard Misato was going to be there of course I went, she looked stunning in that genie costume along with . . ." Kaiji did the math. "You didn't."
"I did, or rather, Shinji did. He bought the costumes after all."
"And didn't bother telling him it would turn Aksuka, Misato or Rei into his magical slaves?"
"Nothing –you- are going to do is going to prevent Third Impact, so I decided to take the opportunity to take matters into my own hands so to speak."
"The whole, 'higher call' and 'needs of the many' scenario?"
"Third Impact would be very bad for business."
"That doesn't make it right."
"Shinji doesn't yet realize that the simple solution is right in front of him. If he can't figure it out before 'daddy' puts his 'evil master plan' into its final phase. Well, maybe NERV does deserve to get its way."
"I don't suppose you could just tell me and I could relay it to him."
"Sorry, it's one of those 'chosen one self improvement' sorta thing. Hate'em, but try to screw them, and they screw you back worse . . . Sure I can't interest you in something? Like a potion to make you bullet proof?"
"Not interested in becoming a statue, thanks."
Damn, this guy does know me pretty well. "Can't blame me for trying. Oh, and if things work out, you –might- get your girl friend back as a mortal human if you somehow manage to cheat death and are strangely still alive when everything is said and done."
"Might?"
"Few things in life are certain. With as many factors going around as this, even fewer."
"Thanks. I'd say see ya, but it's my sincere hope that me, and anyone I like is never within a hundred yards of you again."
Kaiji left the shop, wondering what kind of report to fabricate for SEELE, and how to explain this in his –real- report to the UN.
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See other episodes by Alex Warlorn
(Posted Sat, 10 Apr 2004 13:00)
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