"Damned Reaper," Ranma grumbled as she picked herself off the floor. She was learning to get used to that kind of teleportation, but it was still disorienting as all hell.
"And who is this?" the bemused voice of the Mentor cooed as he circled her. "A very fine specimen of womanhood if I do say so myself. So, what are you doing here. Answer quickly now..."
Ranma glared at the ghost. "I'm the Dungeon Keeper, ya jerk."
The ghost floated back. "I hardly see how that’s possible."
"Ancient curse," Ranma growled. "Cold water turns me into a girl, hot water turns me back."
The ghost floated forward and gave Ranma a meticulous look. "Yes, I see it now. Same clothes, same hair, same general features, and I must say, that is an impressive rack you have there."
Ranma glared. "I see why Horny wants to kill you. I wanna kick your ass too right about now..."
"Ah, the benefits of being insubstantial," the Mentor replied, "So, find anything."
"Yeah," she replied, "I found a portal!"
"Excellent," the Advisor cooed in response. "Very good. Now as soon as your inner sanctum is constructed we will be able to continue our preparations."
"Yeah," Ranma began, "What exactly are you talkin' about? I mean I'm supposed to be the boss here but I see ya talking to Horny about what we're going to do, but not me."
The Advisor paused for a moment then nodded. "Of course. Once the portal is claimed and thusly under your full control we shall use it to go to Skid Row."
Ranma blinked. "Skid Row? Doesn't sound too nice."
"That's because its not," the advisor snapped. "Skid Row is a festering pit of poverty and depravity on a scale rare even in the underworld. It is a den of rogues and mercenaries, a last refuge for those too pathetic, too corrupt, and too sordid to function anywhere else."
Ranma gagged. "Then why are we going there?"
"Because it is neutral and they do not ask questions," the Advisor replied, "Skid Row is under the dominion of a cabal of mercenaries and gang lords. From the countless flesh pits gambling dens, drinking holes, fighting pits, and the pathetic vagrants that flock to them, that fill the caverns of the city they extort their undeserved wage, knowing well that their business is totally dependent on the autonomy of their customers. In the City of Rogues and Hired Killers, you can find anything for a price, one usually much reduced when compared to the nosy merchants and exorbitant fees of Dis."
"Dis?" Ranma asked.
"The Under-city of Dis, capital of the Underworld, founded by the Legendary Slayer of the Avatar, the first and only Underlord, prior to his disastrous and notoriously short campaign in the lands above."
"What do you mean short?"
"With their hero broken before them he thought that the goodly citizens of the lands above would be easy pickings. Unfortunately, the king still lived and more importantly, still had an army that was both used to fighting on the surface was that was very large and very eager to avenge their fallen champion. With his foes holding both numbers vast and a home field advantage... he was quickly overtaken and destroyed."
"Oh," Ranma replied, dumbly.
"Yes, now, back to the agenda. We will go to Skid Row, buy you all the accouterments of a proper Dungeon Keeper, make contacts, and then look for a more secure location of your choosing to move your Dungeon Heart to."
"What kinda stuff you talking about?" Ranma asked.
"Oh, the basics," the Advisor replied, "Books, clothes, rooms, armor, spells, weapons, luxury goods, servants... the works."
"I really ain't into shopping much..." Ranma protested.
"Don't worry," the Advisor cooed. "Just come along, follow my lead, and let me do the talking. You'll learn a great deal."
Ranma scowled a moment, then relented. "Okay," she replied.
He was offering to show her how to find what she would need. She didn't mind that, and she doubted that this would be anything like going shopping with her father, which meant running interference while the old man swiped stuff or going shopping with Akane, which meant carrying bags and watching her try on dresses and being asked questions she never wanted an honest answer to. But she be damned if she go as a girl.
"Yeah, but I really need to dry off and get a hot bath. I ain't going as a girl."
"Build you Inner Sanctum then," the ghost replied. "It will create mundane changes of clothes and a bathtub, among other things."
Ranma nodded and commanded the dungeon to build the room. In a flash the oversized cavern shifted from bare rock and walls to a grandiose hall complete with decorative arches, impressive braziers, the sweet scent of incense in the air, masking the omnipresent dank of the Underworld, and countless tapestries, mosaics, and murals all attesting to his glory.
Ranma stepped back a bit overwhelmed by it all. To him these quarters looked like they'd more belong to a king or an emperor than to someone like him. While he'd thought the size of the room dug out was oversized in the darkness, in the light it was simply massive! The bed looked like it could sleep twelve comfortably. The dining table looked like you could feed a small regiment around. The bathtub, which was half concealed in one corner behind a sliding screen looked to be larger his room at the Tendo's!
"Wow..."
"Yes," the Advisor replied forlornly. "These apartments are rather small, but there was only so much time, and besides, we did agree that this location was to be temporary at best."
"This is small?!" Ranma exclaimed in shock. This was sure as hell not small! You could fit the Tendo's house, and probably the dojo with some yard included in here!
"Yes," the advisor replied harshly. "Among other things, it only as the reasonable minimum of space dedicated to the library. There are no quarters for personal retainers, save the reaper's lair, there is no great hall, there is next to no space allotted for your personal sla... servants, and everything that would usually be distributed amongst a rather comfortably sized palace complex is being forced into a small number of large rooms to save on space as there is very little of that in this area."
"Alright, I got ya," Ranma replied. He guessed he saw his point. From the way he talked about Keepers, they were like underground lords, daimyo, or something like that, so he guessed he could see why it might be considered a bit small. Still though, it looked huge to him.
"Good," the Advisor remarked. "Now you should get some rest as it will probably take half a day to mine through to the portal."
Ranma paused for a moment as he saw something new through his 'Keeper Vision'. "Hey, how long does it take to get through gems?"
The advisor paused and turned around. "What?"
"I mean, the imps just hit some and it looks kinda big so I'm wondering if I should just go around?" Ranma replied innocently.
The Advisor just laughed. "Keeper, you have no idea what you just ran into, do you?"
Ranma blinked. "A vein of rock with lots of gems in it?"
"Gem veins are a resource of exceptional value. Even a small vein can yield a veritable fortune, even by Keeper standards. Tunnel around it, and once the portal is yours, begin to mine the gems. This does changer our plans though. Before, we were going to get your started by acquiring the basics for an operational Dungeon. Now though, we will be able to start you off with an advantage. Rather than entering the game as an impoverished neophyte, totally at the mercy of your superiors, you will be able to begin as a fully established Keeper."
"That sounds good," Ranma replied as stuck her arm into the bathtub, turning back into a he. "I mean its always good to be ready for anything."
"Indeed. Now, get some rest and we will begin our trip in the morrow." He paused for a moment, and added, "Where is the Reaper?"
"He wanted to keep exploring," Ranma replied.
"Oh," the advisor replied, "Hope he does not attract any undue trouble..."
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(Posted Sun, 17 Dec 2006 10:20)
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