"Yeah, I-" Poof!
"I think I know just where to start," said Toltiir with a grin - thinking that there were ways of shifting things around into a more amusing configuration.
It was easy for Toltiir to go from one universe to another. Finding something in the stack of universes - that was rather more difficult.
He was aided, however, in that he existed in a meta-time and meta-space that existed outside those universes and functioned differently.
Then he brought them to a subspace pocket so that he could make the offer. Before that though, he had to physically heal them. Then he had to stop them from screaming. He then had to dull their memories repeatedly until it was at a point they could deal with.
Only then could he explain his offer.
"You want us to do WHAT?!" asked Haruka Tenou.
Toltiir sighed. "You didn't exist as Analogues in this universe. There was no Silver Millenium, no Moon Kingdom, no Beryl or Metallia. This is a Naruto timeline."
"Waitaminute," said Minako Aino. "'Naruto'? Like in the Shonen Jump manga?"
"Yes, that's it," agreed Toltiir. "Just like your exploits are manga in a few other timelines."
"If there's a sick bastard who came up with our timeline," said Haruka. "I want to kill them. Slowly."
"There are a surprising number of universes where you and your world ended up coming to a Bad Ending," admitted Toltiir. "All I had to do was find one where the timeline ended and I could pull you out without making a difficult mess."
Ami stopped throwing up from where she was, wiping her mouth but not even looking at the others. "Can you wipe my memories of that?"
"Yes, but then you wouldn't remember why you agreed to it. My understanding of you mortals indicate that you don't like that sort of meddling," said the cat-being.
"No, I suppose you don't understand," said Ami. "Please. Do it. I agree to your terms."
The cat's tail curled in on itself and made a snapping noise. Ami vanished.
"Did she - ?!" Usagi's voice trailed off, her throat raw from her own retching.
"She remembers just vague images, as if having watched a TV show. Ami is now replacing a thoroughly forgettable other 'Ami' - who now washed out of the Ninja Academy shortly after tormenting a young girl named Sakura Haruno. I resurrected and inserted her mother - now a former medic-nin turned full time physician at the local hospital. Ami is the girl genius who wants to follow in her mother's shoes and the heir to the Mizuno clan techniques. Her mother is now a refugee from Whirlpool, who knew Naruto's mother who was the same."
"If I were doing that, what about MY family? And what about Mamoru?" asked Usagi, sounding a little less shaky and more decisive.
"If your family is among the conditions, I can do that," said Toltiir.
"What about Mamoru?" asked Usagi, thinking that Mamoru was likely too much to ask for and that living without him was something she couldn't face.
"Oh, he's already there. When you graduate as genin, he'll already have been chunin for a few years," said Toltiir.
The various girls stared at the cat.
"Why? Was that important?"
"Yes!" said Usagi, who then broke down crying.
"So," said Setsuna. "We get inserted into this timeline retroactively. As this is a ninja-magic universe, we become kunoichi of the Leaf Village. While there we end up fighting menaces of various kinds and otherwise champions of love and justice?"
"Essentially, yes. The Leaf Village is the most aligned with those principles - though there are those among the village who don't hold those values as being important as well."
"Sign me up," said Setsuna, who vanished an eyeblink later.
"Just so you know," said the cat-being. "Setsuna will end up as a jonin-sensei and team leader about the time the bulk of you graduate from their Ninja Academy. She'll remember enough to try and get three of you at least on her team."
"I want to forget all of it," said Hotaru softly.
"Then you will," said Toltiir as Hotaru vanished.
"World Shaking!"
Toltiir stopped the attack with one paw, turning it into a rubber ball which he then batted away. "What, you want to go back?"
"If I kill you I don't HAVE to go back," said Sailor Uranus as she charged forward.
Toltiir blinked and Sailor Uranus abruptly stopped in mid-stride. "Oh dear. Oh dear. What to do?"
"I think it was the whole 'be friends with Naruto' thing she was objecting to," said Minako. "I think she was interpreting it as something other than 'friend'-friend."
"Oh?"
"So if you wanted to punish her, you should throw her into the timeline and give her a crush on the underdog kid," suggested Minako, drawing a few stares from her companions and a shocked look from Michiru.
"Okay. Done."
Michiru looked shocked and horrified at that. "Neptune Planet Power. Make UP!"
"Oh, bother."
"Submarine Reflection!" said Neptune, focussing a brilliant beam from her mirror on the cat-being.
It was a little spoiled by the cat now wearing dark sunglasses, sitting back in a lounge chair, and rubbing suntan lotion on his forelegs.
Sailor Neptune vanished with a panicked look.
"Love triangle?" asked Minako.
"Something like that," admitted Toltiir.
"So what about details?" asked Minako.
"Oh, those are up for later determination."
"I want some useful techniques," said Minako.
"Me too," said Makoto.
"I just know I'm going to regret this," said Rei, stepping forward.
All three vanished, leaving Toltiir momentarily alone.
Really, there were WAY too many male shinobi and not enough kunoichi. He really did have to address that issue, didn't he?
And Naruto DID want a big family, didn't he?
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(Posted Sat, 18 Sep 2010 19:33)
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